


Then, Now, and Forever

by A_Wandering_Soul



Category: Glee
Genre: Drama & Romance, Glee AU, M/M, Minor Character Death, Out With A Bang Big Bang, Past Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, The Love Letter (1998) Movie AU, Triggers, War situations or ptsd, World War I
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-12
Updated: 2015-07-12
Packaged: 2018-04-08 22:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 56,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4322589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A_Wandering_Soul/pseuds/A_Wandering_Soul
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a heart shatters so severely that it takes more than one lifetime to put it back together. This is how Kurt Hummel found himself, at the beginning of the new year, with a heart so damaged, he was not sure if it would ever heal. But regardless he was determined he would succeed in life even if he was never able to love again.</p><p>But fate had another idea and his name was Thomas Hamilton. Tom was doomed to live in his father’s footsteps, even if that meant denying who he truly was. In a moment of desperation Tom reaches out to the universe for guidance and receives a reply across time from Kurt instead.</p><p>One lacked the courage and one was fragments of a whole, yet when the stars align they both find the power to help each other heal.</p><p>Two stories in different centuries; one common thread.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Digital art by Mapgirl  
> Fanmix by Gleennui  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/4325166  
> I want to thank them both for all the hard work they put into this for me. I truly appreciate it.
> 
> So here is my first fanfic and I am glad I was able to share it with you and everyone participating with Out With A Bang. This has really been a lot of fun.
> 
> Here are a few things you should know, so you're not to loss. this story Begins at the end of episode 10 Season 4 of Glee and it becomes a Glee AU at the end of episode 13 diva, Season 4. I have also taken some major key plot lines from the old movie The Love Letter. I do not use any characters from the actual movie all of the characters our original characters so that the story is more cohesive. 
> 
> I also want to thank my two betas without their help this story would not have been possible.  
> Purpledixi and Teardropfires

                                       

 

Kurt sat down on his bed with a heavy heart. He had just come back from taking his Dad and Blaine to the airport, and the memories were still swimming around in his head of this Christmas, both good and bad. It had been nice to see his dad again, but the news of his father's cancer was heartbreaking.

 Kurt sighed, his mind still on Blaine. It had been fun singing with him and going skating. He loved Blaine, still did, he just did not know if he would ever be able to trust him like that again. He didn't know if he would ever be able put the shattered pieces of his heart together. At least he had NYADA to distract him from the pain and doubts he had. Kurt was pulled from his reverie by a clattering of dishes coming from the kitchen.

 "Sorry," Rachel yelled from the other room.

 He had his doubts about living with her sometimes. She seemed to live in a world where she was the star. It was going to be the way she wanted it to be even if she had to force it. Although she was getting better, she had her own heartbreaks and devastations that had made her more understanding. She could be controlling and nosy, but overall she was sweet and kind in her own way.

 "Kurt, would you like to get take out," Rachel called. There was now an acrid smell of burnt food coming from the kitchen. "I just burned dinner, again."

 For a girl, she wasn't a very good cook, but at least she insisted on trying to do her part. He had to hand it to her she refused to give up. She might even be getting better, might.

 Kurt rolled his eyes and slowly stood up. Straightening out his clothes, he decided that he better go help her and go save the kitchen before she burnt it down.

 As he walked in there came a knock from the door. Taking a moment to look at the mess she'd made, he nodded at the door. "You get it, and I'll clean this mess," He said. Rachel sent him a grateful look and went to get the door.

 A few seconds later, Kurt could hear the creak of the front door opening and Rachel’s confused but polite greeting. He paused in his cleaning to hear more clearly.

 "Hi! Is this the residence of Kurt Hummel?” Kurt perked up, intrigued.

 "Yes! Please come in,” Rachel replied.

 The door creaked louder as she opened the door a little wider to let them in, and as soon as she was visible she sent Kurt a curious gaze. She gestured to the open living space for them to stand. When Kurt turned around he noticed the two men standing there.

 A middle-aged man stood closer to the doorway. He had light brown hair tinged with gray. He wore a semi-fashionable suit but tailored to fit him, Kurt noticed. He was maybe two inches shorter than Finn and stood straight and rigid. The younger man next to him, mid-20s or so, was dressed more fashionably. As Kurt looked back towards the older man, he noticed a flash of recognition towards him. He seemed to relax a little and his shoulders sagged in relief.

 "Aha, Kurt Hummel!" He said. The older gentleman moved forward and held out his hand to shake Kurt's. Skeptical, Kurt dried off his hands quickly and put his hand out to return the gesture.

 "Hi my name is Robert Collins, and this is my assistant Luke Richardson." Robert seemed to know who he was, but Kurt had no clue who this man was. There was a slight pause before he spoke up again. “We are here to talk to you today about Madeline Kidman and her last will and testament.”

 "Who?" Kurt asked, “I don't ever remember knowing a Madeline Kidman,” Kurt said, trying to run through all the memories of his extended family; Dad, Grandparents, even all the conversations with his very strange Aunt.  He could never remember talking about a Madeline. He was completely drawing a blank, which was a little frustrating. "Who is Madeline Kidman? I’ve never heard about her" He replied completely baffled.

 “Can we have a seat?” Mr. Collins asked and gestured to the furniture, “I think this is going to take some time.”

 Robert sat down on the chair and gestured for everyone to join him. The three of them followed him into the sitting area. Robert and Luke sat across from Rachel and Kurt. The silence was heavy in the room, as Kurt waited for one of the two strangers to speak.

 "The Kidman’s have been among our client base since the beginning of our law firm,” Robert started. “When Mrs. Kidman came into our office 18 years ago to change her will she also set forth a plan for a series of events to happen starting in January 2013. I was really unsure about her doing so, but she was so adamant about it I felt obligated, as her lawyer, to follow her wish. Even though it went against my own better judgment."

 Rachel and Kurt stared at each other with wide eyes before glancing back between the two men. "What plan? And how do you know you have the right Kurt Hummel" Kurt asked completely taken aback.

 "Well Madeline gave me this address and a copy of an old photograph and told me that Kurt Hummel would live here and be in the image of this man." Robert answered "I was very skeptical at first, I checked the address out, there was really nothing here but some old warehouse and no Kurt Hummel to be found. She gave me the photograph 18 years ago, but now I'm absolutely astounded. I swear you are the spitting image of the man in that photograph and I found you here, just as she said you would be".

 "Can I see the photograph?" Kurt asked hesitantly.

 "Not at this time," Robert replied. "Let's get started, I have a lot of paperwork that needs to be signed." Robert said and started to pull the documents from his briefcase onto the coffee table.

 The meeting took almost two hours, which Kurt had sat through dumbfounded, amazed, and confused, and going by the look on Rachel's face she didn't seem to be much better off. Through the meeting Mr. Collins seemed to do all the talking and his partner Mr. Richardson didn't seem to say much at all. Instead he sat there quietly handing Robert papers and documents that he needed, and made sure everything stayed in order. As the meeting came to an end Mr. Richardson handed Mr. Collins an envelope.

 "Aha yes, One final thing" Robert said, turning to Kurt, "This is for you!”

He extended the envelope and Kurt took it hesitantly from Robert. He looked down at it closely. Written on the front of the letter was a small note that read _‘_ _Read when you are alone._ _’_

 Kurt looked back up at him in confusion. Robert smiled and said "All the letters were sealed by Madeline; she also placed them in the order that I am supposed to give them to you in. No one except Madeline knows what the letters contain.”

 Mr. Collins and Mr. Richardson stood up at the same time. "Well, we must be going," he said and held out his hand for Kurt to shake. Kurt slid the envelope into the pocket of his cardigan and shook Roberts’s hand. “It was nice to meet you both," Robert said.

 "Likewise," Kurt replied as they started to walk towards the door.

 "Remember, I will see you on the first of January," Robert said quickly over his retreating shoulder. And then, they were gone.

 Rachel and Kurt stood there staring at each other at the open door at a complete loss for words.

 "Well that was interesting" Rachel said breaking the silence.

 "Yeah..." Kurt replied in complete amazement, "That was".

 Kurt reached out and closed the door and turned back towards the kitchen. He needed to come back to reality, but Rachel seemed to beat him to the punch.

 "So what just happened" she said in her ‘I just lost control on the world I have to have it back now’ voice, glaring at Kurt like he was withholding all the answers from her, with a ‘give them to me now’ expression on her face.

 Kurt shuddered internally. He did not know if he had the strength and energy to deal with Rachel at this time. Kurt groaned and pointed to the earlier mess. "You order dinner and I'll get the mess" he said knowing that Rachel would still be hungry.

 "No Kurt!" She said with a demanding tone in her voice. "A complete stranger comes in to our place and says you are going to inherit a house and you don't even want to talk about it?"

 He walked towards the kitchen and picked up his washrag to resume cleaning it up. "Rachel not now!" he said exasperatingly "I just cannot deal with this at this time." He said in a voice that simply says please do not push.

 Gratefully Rachel decided to not push for answers at the moment and went to place an order for food before she came back to help. They cleaned in silence; both still shocked by the abrupt interruption. Dinner arrived just as they were finishing up, so they both sat down to eat together.

 Kurt picked at his food more than he ate it. Eventually he gave in. He sighed and sat his fork down next to his plate. Kurt looked up at Rachel. "I'm going to go to bed. I am really tired, it has been a long day,” he said. Getting up, he scraped his uneaten food into the trash then he placed his plate, silverware and glass into the sink.

 "Do you need to talk?" Rachel asked softly.

 "No, Maybe later, I still do not have any answers, when I find out what is going on I will be sure to let you know okay!" Kurt said tiredly, as he turned around and sent Rachel an ‘I will be okay’ smile and then he went to his room.

 Kurt set down on his bed, exhausted. His mind was completely scrambled with all the information. As he placed his hand to his forehead and elbows resting on his knees, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “Why would someone give me a house? I need to make sense of this,” he whispered to himself. Kurt decided it would be good to list all the things he felt were the most important to remember right now.

 First, he was going to inherit a house and receive another envelope on the first of January. The next morning he would receive a text with the address and the time they were going to meet from Mr. Collins.

 Second, there was something about a package that he was going to receive some time in August.

 Third a lot of what was going to happen would happen without notice throughout the year.

 Kurt's mind kept drifting back to the house that he was to inherit. Why would anyone give him a house? He was shocked and baffled at how this could happen. Yes, there were some stipulations on how he was to inherit the place; like the house would be in his and the lawyers name for one year. He also must live there six months out of the year and in January 2015 it would be transferred fully into his name. At that time he could decide if he wanted to keep the place or sell it.

 What Kurt learned about Madeline during the meeting, was that she was eccentric in a lot of ways, and that she knew exactly what she wanted from her life. People did just what she said because she had money, without questioning her rhyme or reason. Kurt on the other hand was pretty sure she was just crazy.

 Kurt had also found out that Madeline had inherited the house along with some other documents and important things from her mother Marianne. She had been pretty insistent, that it was important that Kurt Hummel, a complete stranger, was to inherit these things.

 Kurt was going to have to talk to his father and see if he knew of a Marianne or Madeline Kidman because he was still drawing a complete blank.

 Taking a deep breath, he decided that it was time to get ready for bed. When he stood up and removed his cardigan he heard a crumbling of paper. Remembering the letter that the lawyer had given him, he gently reached into his pocket and carefully removed it. After he smoothed the wrinkles out from the envelope, he was able to see the words again: _Read when you are alone_. He was alone now, but he was too tired and exhausted to read it. Opening his nightstand drawer, he gently sat it on top and closed the drawer. He would save the letter to read another day. He already had too much on his mind. Changing into his silk pajamas, he decided to skip his nightly routine, just this time, and go to bed. Kurt pulled back his covers and slipped between the sheets, lying his head down on to his pillow. He was going to have to call his dad but he was still on the plane heading home so he would have to wait till later. Kurt was really worried about his father, was he doing okay? Was he in a lot of pain? Kurt did not know if he would survive the next year if he lost his dad too. He started breathing slowly in and out, willing his mind to calm and relax. Soon after, he drifted into a restless sleep, full of unhappy dreams.

 

\-------

 

The next morning when Kurt woke up he felt like he did not get even an ounce of sleep. Kurt pulled back his covers and dragged his body out of bed with a groan. His body ached all over he was so sore; it felt like he had ran a marathon instead of getting any rest. All Kurt wanted to do was crawl back into bed and go to sleep but he had to get up and go to work.

 Kurt forced himself to move into the kitchen so that he could make a cup of coffee. When Kurt sat down at the table with a nice hot cup of steaming coffee, he sighed in happy contentment as the warmth from the mug warmed his hands. As Kurt’s mind began to slowly wake up he was glad to notice that Rachel was still asleep. He was not sure if he could handle her excessive chatter this morning and all the questions she was going to have for him after last night. Kurt really wished that he had some answers too after yesterday, but it was too early to call his father this morning. He was sure that his dad would need to get all the rest he could, so his body would be able to get better after his dad's treatment. So Kurt had no choice but to wait till his lunch break to see if his dad had any answers for him.

 When Kurt's mug was empty he glanced up at the clock, his eyes opening wide in shock, he was now going to half to cut corners on his morning routine or he was going to be late for work if he did not rush out of here. So Kurt hurried to his room and pulled the clothes out of his closet that he had prepared for today, scanning over the outfit he had chosen, he realized he was not in the right mood to pull off such an outfit. Scanning through his other options Kurt came across one that had some more layers to it, not only that it had his favorite Alexander McQueen sweater.

When Kurt was finally ready, he checked himself in the mirror again to make sure he had put on enough cover-up to hide the dark spots under his eyes. When Kurt was satisfied that he would be able to go through the day and no one would notice how he felt he grabbed his bag to head out the door. In his haste he almost ran into Rachel standing in the pathway to the door in her pajamas.

"Hey Kurt can we talk right now" Rachel said in a sleepy voice as she rubbed her eyes.

"I can't right now Rachel I am going to be late for work if I do not hurry." Kurt answered as he was a little worried that he was not going to be able to make it past her.

 "Come on Kurt" she whined with a pout on her face "you're always in a hurry when I need to talk."

"Because you always want to talk when I have a job I need to get to." Kurt said with frustration in his voice. "Besides I don't have any answers to give you. Rachel you know as much as I do. You were there remember? When I know more I will let you know I promise.

"Okay!" she sighed in disappointment, as she hesitated just a moment longer before moving out of Kurt's way

"Thank you!" Kurt said sending Rachel a grateful look as he rushed by her, hoping that he would not run into any more delays or he would be late for work.

 When Kurt finally arrived at work things did not seem to get any better for him. No matter what he did he was having a hard time keeping his mind on the task at hand, and Isabel kept sending him concerned looks his way. He kept reassuring her that everything was fine, he was just a little tired but nothing that she needed to be concerned about. By the time everyone was ready to take a lunch break he was positive he would not be able to take it anymore he had successfully wound himself into a ball of nerves and anxiety. Kurt was so grateful to have a break and talk to his father and get some answers before he completely went crazy. Kurt went as quickly as possible down to the cafeteria trying not to talk to a lot of people so he would have more time to spend with his dad.  He grabbed himself a small salad and tucked himself away in a quiet corner of the cafeteria.

 Kurt sat there for a couple minutes as he took some deep breaths trying to calm himself down so that his father would not hear the concern and worry in his voice. When Kurt was sure he had his emotions under control he pulled out his phone and dialed his dad’s number. Taking another deep breath as he heard the ringtone on his phone letting him know he had placed the call. Kurt heard his father's voice come across the phone with a cheerful ring to it. "Hi this is Hummel's Lube and Tires! How may I help you?          

 "Dad!" Kurt exclaimed "why are you working? Aren't you supposed be taking it easy.

 "Calm down kiddo I'm taking it easy it's just a force of habit." His dad said with a sigh

"Are you sure" Kurt said as he tried to fight the worry from coming across in his voice.

 "Yes! Carol is keeping a good eye on me and making sure I eat all my leafy greens" Burt said good-naturedly "and how is everything in New York" he asked.

 "Confusing" Kurt said as he place his elbow on the table and lean his head on his hand "really confusing".

 "Are you okay?" Burt said with concern seeping into his voice.

 "Yes! I just had a visit from a lawyer last night." "What!" Burt shouted over the top of the rest of Kurt sentence. "Dad please calm down remember your heart" Kurt said with panic in his voice "I will explain everything I'm not in trouble I promise.

 "Okay you better kiddo" Burt said as he try to calm himself down.

 "As I was saying I had a lawyer come to my loft last night and he was an executor to Madeline Kidman's last will and testament. She’s left me a House in New York and some other things I have not received yet. I went over all the paperwork before I signed the documents and it looks legitimate." Kurt said, he was still a little overwhelmed with the idea of someone leaving him a house. "That is actually why I called you today I was wondering if you knew who Madeline Kidman was? Or maybe her mother, Marianne?” 

 "No, not that I know of" his dad replied a little baffled "so she left you a house? ha!"

 "Yeah"

 "Have you seen it yet? What kind of a house is it?" His dad asked with curiosity bubbling over in his voice.

 "Not yet and I don't know. I'm not going to be able to see it till the 1st of January at least that is when the lawyer said I will be able too." Kurt replied

 "That's cool."          

 "I was wondering if she was related to us or maybe if Aunt Anne knew her." Kurt said, as he was starting to feel like he was never going to find any answers to his questions.

 "Not that I know of but I could ask Anne if she knows of them. Please keep me updated though. I don't want you getting in over your head. “Burt replied.

 "Thanks dad!"

 "No problem.. Hey Kurt?"

 "Yeah?"

 "If this is your lunch time you be sure to actually eat something more than just a couple bites okay!" Burt said with a little bit of concern in his voice.

 "Yeah I will" Kurt said "well if I'm gonna do that I better get going."         

 "Okay! I love you kiddo. Burt said with fondness.

 "I love you too dad." Kurt said with tears welling up in his eyes.

 "And Kurt let me know if you find any information on your end alright."

 "I'll be sure to do that." Kurt said

 "Bye son."

 "Bye dad!"

 And then there was a click on the other end of the line indicating that his dad was gone.

 Leaving him with the overwhelming feeling of loneliness, he really missed his father. Kurt wished he could have taken his dad to New York, but Burt Hummel did not belong in New York and Kurt just could not live in Lima any longer. So it seemed that they were just destined to be apart. Kurt just sighed and slumped in his chair knowing that if anyone saw him he would get dirty looks for his bad posture, but he really just did not care right now. He was so tired and exhausted; he just wanted to know when life would return back to some sense of order again. Between Blaine, Madeline, life in general he felt so confused and lost. But Kurt Hummel could not fall to pieces in front of everyone.

 So Kurt sat up straight in his chair and brushed the wrinkles out of his sweater. Kurt was now determined, he was an actor after all, he could do this until the end of the day. He just had to; he would not allow himself to have any other choice. So the acting begins Kurt thought setting up as straight as possible and tucking his emotions down as deep as he could.

 

 

 

[Fanmix by Gleennui](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4325166)


	2. Chapter 2

Kurt sighed and leaned against the wall near the door of his apartment. The day had been long, too long. He sighed out another breath of air, as he felt tears gather up in his eyes. He’d been on the verge all day.

 Kurt enjoyed working at Vogue.com. It was kind of stressful and frantic, but he mostly thrived on the chaos of it all. That’s not why he was an inch away from crumbling. It was little things that caught him off guard. Like a man wearing shoes with no socks and high water pants and all the really, really, colorful bow ties, things that kept reminding him of Blaine, and every time he turned around there was something else. The topping on the cake of course had to be Teenage Dream playing over the radio on his way home from work.

 The emotions were going to make him go crazy, going from confused to angry back to heartbroken within a matter of seconds. Glancing towards the kitchen he thought about cooking dinner, but the truth was he was just too tired to eat and even to move. Mustering every last bit of strength he had left he pulled his body away from the wall and slowly started moving towards his room. Kicking off his shoes, he pulled back the covers and collapsed on his bed. He ignored the fact he was still fully dressed in his designer clothes, he was centimeters away from losing it now. Marc Jacobs please forgive me he thought, as he wrapped himself tightly in his covers and the dam slowly began to break.

 An hour or so later, he’d lost track of the time, Kurt was finally calming down. He hated crying, but sometimes it was too much to hold inside of him. Lying there lost in a state of exhaustion as the letter from the lawyer slowly flickered back into his mind, Kurt listened hard to check for signs of Rachel moving around the apartment. He was pretty sure that he was alone now, and he was starting to get very curious to know what was inside.

 Reaching over to his nightstand, he pulled the letter out of the drawer. His eyes rested on the blocky lettering scribbled on the front of the envelope that read "read when you are alone." Carefully he opened the letter and looked inside. There was an old envelope with his name written in smooth cursive on the front. He pulled it out and turned it around he saw an ornate wax seal on the back. He gently removed the seal very slowly, careful not to rip it. He lifted the tab up and pulled out a square piece of paper. The words were written in the same eloquent cursive, they seem to leap off the page and straight into his heart.

 Dear Kurt, Stay strong And time will heal your heart. Remember you are loved, now and forever.

 Feeling something more in the envelope, Kurt gazed inside and in the corner there was an old silver chain attached to something larger. He reached for the chain and pulled it from the envelope. It was a silver medallion roughly the size of a quarter with a figure of an angel on the front. Running his fingers across the medallion, he was amazed how beautiful it was. He turned it over and noticed there was a small inscription on the back.

 He wiped away a few smudges with a corner of his bed sheet and brought it closer to have a better look. There, inscribed, were the words - _my love surrounds you-_ , Kurt felt like those words were being whispered into his mind and were wrapping his soul in warmth and comfort that he had not felt in a very long time. He could practically feel the throbbing ache in his heart soften a little.

 Kurt was so confused and a little scared. How did Madeline know he needed to hear these calming words right now? Was this a joke? Madeline had died two years ago and he’d never met her in his entire life. But yet these letters, the medallion, all of this bizarre stuff said otherwise. He was just too tired to wrap his mind around this. Maybe he would learn more and then it would make sense. As he put the letter back into the drawer, Kurt decided that he needed to sleep. Pulling the covers up and holding the medallion close to his heart, he allowed the new sense of peace that he had found in the idea that someone loved him even if he did not know who they were to draw him into a deep slumber.

 

\------

 

 Rachel walked into their apartment it was awful quiet. Kurt should of been home hours ago. Glancing around, she noticed that he had not cooked dinner, which is odd because it was his turn. Kurt was not forgetful, he always remembered. As she looked around the place, she noticed that his bag was dropped by the door. That too was strange. He was home, she was sure of that. She decided to look in the most obvious place first and walked to Kurt's room. She was starting to worry about him, it had not been the first time this week he had gone straight to bed. She was pretty sure he was skipping meals, and when she forced Kurt to eat, he wasn't eating well at all. Going into his room, she noticed that he was curled up in the bed. He looked like he had cried himself to sleep again. He also was still wearing his designer clothes, which before the break up he would've gotten really upset at the thought of ruining his clothes, and he looked exhausted she was pretty sure he was losing weight as well. His skinny jeans were not as tight as they once had been.

 Finn had broken up with her around the same time Kurt and Blaine did, but he seemed to be taking it harder than she was. She understood that Finn had not cheated on her like Blaine did to him, and she was sure that she would've been taking it just as hard as Kurt was if she was in his place. She had to do something before her friend withered away. _New Year's!_ She thought, _I need to make Kurt happy. At least for one day._ And a plan begin to grow in her mind, she was starting to get excited. Yes she could do that for him.

 

 

\------

 

 January 1

 Kurt was lying in bed awake wishing he wasn't. To say he was exhausted would be an understatement, but his mind seemed to have the jitters. Giving up on all hope of falling back to sleep, he looked over at his clock it was eight minutes after five in the morning. "Why" he groaned. He pulled back the covers and sat up before continuing, "Can I not sleep when I need to?” Kurt took a deep breath and let it out slowly while he ran his fingers through his hair. The house was eerily silent but the noises coming from outside said that the city was starting to Wake up. "If I take a shower now at least I have a better chance of not getting in trouble if Rachel wakes up", Kurt mumbled.

 He stands and grabs his bathrobe and supplies and wanders out of his room. A shower is probably just what he needed to calm his restless mind.

 Kurt leaned his head against the shower pipe and then let the water cascade across his back, calming and smoothing the tension in his muscles. Today was the day that he was going to receive a phone call from Mr. Collins and be given an address to his new place. He was finally going to see the house he had inherited, which is most likely the reason why he was unable to sleep. It did not help that he stayed up until three last night. As the water softly kneaded the muscles in his neck, he could not help but think back to what Rachel had done the night before.  It was really nice. She had taken him out to a restaurant that she claims had the best cheesecake in New York, she promised smiling sweetly at him, at first he was skeptical that it was the best but after trying it he had to agree it was actually really delicious. Then Rachel and Brody had taken Kurt to Time Square, where they sang, danced and celebrated the night away. He finally had started feeling normal for the first time in months. It had been nice just to go out goofing off and having a lot of fun with his friends. Until it was time for the ball to drop, then loneliness had hit him like a ton of bricks. Kurt looked over at Rachel who was snuggling, excitedly into Brody's arms waiting patiently for her kiss at midnight. Kurt looked around, he could see there were some small groups of friends standing around but the majority were breaking off into couples. Leaving Kurt standing all by himself. Kurt knew that Rachel was trying to get him to have a good time and take his mind off of Blaine and his broken heart. The funny thing about Rachel was that she has good ideas but doesn't think them all the way through. Often times they end up into a disaster mode or someone getting their feelings hurt or being left out. Kurt completely felt left out right then. He wished he had someone else to talk to or stand around with. Part of him wished that Rachel would've thought to invite more people or maybe if it was just Rachel and him he wouldn't feel absolutely like a third wheel.

 Rachel looked over at Kurt and said "Are you having a great time?"

 "Yes!" Kurt replied, smiling back at her and pushing all his feelings down deeper hoping that she didn't notice the partial lie because he had been having a lot of fun just minutes before.

 The change in the water temperature pulled Kurt back to reality, when he had realized that he had used most of the hot water. "Great" he mumbled, now he hoped Rachel was still asleep or she was going to be upset at him for using all the hot water. Finishing up his shower and drying off, he then grabbed his house coat, wrapping himself up and tried to bring his body temperature back to normal. He angrily thought _that's what I get for losing track of time in the shower._

 As Kurt walked towards his room, he was grateful to notice that Rachel was still asleep. Hopefully by time she’d wake up the water would be hot again.

 Taking a deep breath, Kurt went quietly to get ready for the day. If he was careful, and absolutely quiet, he wouldn't wake Rachel up and would have more time to pull himself together. He just needed a little more peace and quite so he could think.

 

______

 

Just before 10 o'clock Kurt was sitting in his room fidgeting and Rachel was pacing in the kitchen.

 If he didn't hear from Robert soon he was going to go crazy, he just knew it. His nerves and anxiety were going to consume him if he sat here any longer. Because it was a holiday, he didn't have anything to do for work, and he hadn't started school yet, so Kurt had nothing to distract him. Instead he had cleaned his room three times this morning already so now he did not know what to do. Rachel had kicked him out of the kitchen and living area because she said that he was starting to drive her insane.

 A chime went off letting him know that he had received a text. Reaching into his pocket with shaking hands, he pulled out his phone. He realized it was from Robert.

Kurt got a rush of excitement that thrummed through his body. He unlocked his phone and pulled up his text. There he found what he was looking for.

 

From Robert Collins

A taxi will be there in five minutes.

 

Kurt felt a little tang of disappointment, he wasn't sure what he was looking for but he thought that there would be more to it than just that. Hearing another ping, Kurt noticed a second message. His heart fell to the floor there was no way that was the correct address it just couldn't be. Gasping for air he called for Rachel.

 “Rachel! Rachel, come quick!”

 Hearing a clang from the kitchen and little stomping feet running towards his room he looked up to see Rachel's worried face. “What’s wrong?”

 Holding out his phone to her, she walked towards him and looked down at the screen before gasping. "Are you sure?" she asked as her eyes quickly darted to his. Kurt shrugged, not knowing what to say. Rachel reached down and grabbed his hand, pulling him off the bed. "Let’s go!" she exclaimed with energy bubbling over into excitement. "Come on! Let's go, they will be here any minute now"

 As Kurt looked down one more time at his phone he grabbed his coat and followed the extremely excited Rachel Berry to the door.

 

From Robert Collins

I will meet you at. 57W 69th St NY (Upper West Side)

 

When the cab pulled up in front of 57, Kurt was still in shock. Rachel, however, was bouncing up and down in her seat full of excitement. For once Kurt had been grateful that Rachel had felt the need to chatter the whole way there. It had given Kurt the opportunity to just sit there and be still without having to think of something to talk about. Not only that, now he could barely breathe because the building was so beautiful.

 The bottom of the building was covered in a white stone front that had ornate carvings, giving it an elegant feel. The top two stories were made with red brick with white stone surrounding the windows. On the fourth floor there were three, white arched windows. At the base there was a graceful path leading up the stoop to a wooden door. Kurt got out of the cab in a daze, and as he walked up the path, he experienced a sense of timelessness. It amazed him that a house built in the 1900’s could look as majestic in 2014.

 He couldn't believe that this regal, four story, million dollar home was all his.

As he reached the door, it slowly opened. Robert was standing on the other side smiling. "Welcome to your new abode, Mr. Hummel," he said making a sweeping gesture. Kurt was unsure what to say. It was like his brain and mouth were disconnected. He continued into the foyer. Kurt's lack of response and stupefied expression made Robert chuckle. "Let me show you around."

 The tour felt like it was on fast forward. It was a flow of images and conversations he was going to have to process later. It was going by so fast that the next thing he knew he found himself on the front stoop once again with Robert shaking his hand before he knew it.

 "I hope you liked what you saw,” Robert said nodding towards the house. Then Robert held his hand out towards Kurt, holding a set of keys. Robert said. "Here are the keys for the place."

 Kurt reached out towards the offered keys. Robert dropped the keys into his palm. When the metal touched his skin, Kurt felt such a shock of reality sweep through him. This was not a dream, it was real he could not deny it any longer. Kurt released the breath of air he did not realize he had been holding. Pulling his eyes away from the keys that were lying in his hand, he looked up at Robert, who was giving him a knowing grin. "It feels good to hold your own house keys for the first time, doesn’t it," Robert said with a genuine smile. Then he reached into his suit coat and pulled out an envelope and a piece of paper. "The envelope is for you" Robert said, holding it out to Kurt. "The paper has a phone number for a car that will take you back home when you're done."

 Robert nodded towards the paper that Kurt was now holding. "Just mention Mr. Collins told you to call and the fees will be taken care of. Feel free to tour the neighborhood as well," Robert said. "You will find that Central Park is at the end of the block." He pointed down the street in the right direction. "I must really be going now. I have other clients to take care of." Robert said, as he reached his hand out towards Kurt for a handshake. Then he turned towards Rachel and did the same. "It was truly a pleasure." He said as he turned and walked towards a car that was sitting by the side of the road waiting for him. As the car drove away, Kurt found himself standing at the top of the stairs with Rachel.

 “Come on Kurt,” she squealed, “let's go check out Central Park!"  She grabbed his arm and started dragging him down the street.

 

 ------

 

 When Kurt and Rachel got back to their place Kurt collapsed on his bed in complete exhaustion, still in utter shock. The house, no his house, was completely and absolutely beautiful and elegant, inside and out. Every level of the house had wood floors and beautiful oak trim around each door. The banister was wood as well with beautifully ornate carvings of flowing leaves cascading down the railing. It was like walking back in time. There were white walls and wood everywhere. It was an upper class establishment, obviously restored in the last twenty years. Whoever had done the restoration was able to capture the feeling of nostalgia from the past.

 Kurt had needed the walk around Central Park he went on with Rachel. It had been cold and nippy, but it gave his mind an opportunity to settle and think about everything he had heard and seen that day.

 As Kurt sat up on his bed the tingling and pain returned to his bicep. It felt like his bicep was black and blue. While touring the house, Rachel had held on to his arm like a boa constrictor strangling its prey. She was jumping up and down, like a five-year-old girl at the zoo, brimming with so much excitement you'd think she inherited the house. She pointed out each carving over the doors, the arched windows, and the hardwood floors. Every room was her favorite. She kept telling Kurt, "Wouldn't this room look great in green or purple?" She had no regard for preserving the past. Just because her room was strawberry shortcake pink did not mean that that coloring would fit in this place. Kurt promised himself that she would not be touching this house with a ten-foot pole. Remembering back Kurt thought it was fascinating that every room was spotless; there was not a speck of dirt or cobweb anywhere. It was immaculate, there was no furniture in sight and clearly the place wasn't lived in. Maybe they had a maid come shine and polish the place regularly. Even the upstairs rooms were sparkling.

 As Kurt thought about the upstairs his mind wandered back to the room at the end of the hall. It had been the only door that was closed. He had reached out his hand to turn the doorknob and noticed how exquisite and old looking it was. As his fingers brushed across the cold metal that had been worn smooth with time, he went to turn the knob to open the door, but it had been locked. He was puzzled why it had been the only room in the house that was locked. He remembered looking back at Mr. Collins for an answer. But found none there. Kurt asked, "Robert do you have a key?" Mr. Collins just shrugged and said “I am pretty sure that Madeline has not opened or let anyone else through that door in years. I am not sure why, but I will check and see if I can find a key. If I cannot find one we can hire a locksmith. Since the house is now yours I see no reason why you should not be able to access this room.”

 Kurt kept finding himself wondering what was behind the door, if it had not been opened in years it could just be a storage space. It would most likely be covered in dust. It was intriguing to think that there is a room that could be dirty in a house that was so clean.

 Kurt was brought out of his thoughts and returned his attention to his tired aching body when Rachel called his name. "Hey Kurt," she said as she walked closer towards his room. "Me and Brody are going to go out for dinner since neither one of us feels like cooking. Do you want to come to?" Rachel was now standing in his doorway. She was looking at him with a hopeful look upon her face. Kurt just did not know what to say to her. He was tired and did not want to feel like a third wheel tonight. The longer he waited to answer her, the more the hopeful expression was slowly melting from her face.

 Kurt let out a deep sigh. "Rachel I think I'll just stay home and eat some leftovers and go to bed early, I'm really tired." Rachel was now looking crestfallen. "Come on Kurt" she whined. "It’s too early; we can have a lot of fun tonight."

 Kurt was hoping this was not another one of Rachel's plans like last night. He didn't know if he could handle it so soon after the last one.

 "Hey Rachel?" he said.

 "Yes," she replied with a pout.

 "Can we go out another night, I have my first day of school tomorrow and I need to be on my toes." Kurt said, hoping to distract Rachel from the idea of him going out to eat with them. Kurt realized it must have worked when Rachel's face lit up with a smile.

 "Yes! That's right." She beamed, "it's your first day of NYADA. I remember my first day of NYADA I was really nervous. Don't you worry you'll be just fine tomorrow." she said with as much reinsurance in her voice as she possibly could.

 "Me and Brody will just go out then, and let you prepare for tomorrow," she said as she looked at him with her big cheer up face on.

As she turned and hollered at Brody "Come on, let's go", Kurt sighed in relief. Now, finally, he had some peace and a little time to think. As Kurt heard the front door close, he decided he would get up and get dressed in his pajamas. Reaching into his pockets he pulled out his new set of keys to his own place, if he wanted it to be his, and placed them on the nightstand by his bed. Then he went back to remove everything else that remained in his pockets and placed them down by the keys. Kurt notice the crumpled piece of paper and folded envelope sitting on the nightstand that he had just pulled out of his pocket. Kurt was curious to see what was in it, but he decided to finish getting ready for bed first.

 When Kurt was ready for bed he decided to at least go in the kitchen and get something small to eat. He was not really hungry but he opened the refrigerator and moved some things around until he was sure that Rachel would be able to notice that he did eat… even if he did not. It seemed easier that way; Kurt did not like worrying her. But he really did not feel like eating at all, so he grabbed a glass of water and a small granola bar.

 Turning the kitchen light off, he turned and walked back to his room. Kurt sat on his bed. He decided to eat his granola bar while he thought. Thinking. He had been doing a lot of that lately and still he did not seem to get the answers he needed or wanted. Glancing over at the envelope, Kurt wondered if it held any of the answers he was desperately in need of. Kurt picked up the envelope and looked at it. It was the same as the first one it just did not have any handwriting on it this time. So he turned it over and opened it up carefully. Looking inside he was surprised there was just a check and a small envelope. He picked up the check as his heart felt like it was trying to speed out of his chest. He turned the check over and read "Kurt Hummel," amount "5,000.00." Kurt sat on his bed in a state of unbelief. He was baffled by the fact she gave him 5,000.00 when the house was paid for, for a year. Kurt reached for the small envelope now having no idea what to expect. He opened it and dropped the content into his hand. A key, an antique, brass key. His mind flickered to an image of the locked door at the end of the hall. Could this be _the_ key?  With his mind buzzing, he put everything in his bedside drawer. He needed to sleep. If he did not, his body would soon start to protest against all the activity he knew would be coming the next day. Better to have a rested body then a restful mind at this point.


	3. Chapter 3

Kurt woke up more worn out than he was the night before. He was not sure if this kept up if he would make it through the week. Forcing himself out of bed, he was determined to get ready for the day as if everything was fine. He did not want to worry Rachel. When he was ready he turned back towards the drawer thinking about the key placed there. He found a ribbon and linked it through the keyhole. He placed it around his neck and nestled it beneath his shirt next to his angel medallion close to his heart. He hoped it would give him courage to make it through the day without falling to pieces.

School was like a rush of color and sound, almost like life was put on fast-forward through the day.  His classes were full of students with unfamiliar faces and names that he did not know yet but that would soon become part of his new existence in New York.  He was excited but overwhelmed by his new surroundings. Kurt could tell that his teachers had no sympathy. They had set expectations and you either succeeded on the first day or were weeded out. Each teacher thought they were the only one in the world that had the most important information to offer. They demanded that you spent 100% of your time on their assignments, or you did not deserve to be in their class. Kurt was not sure how he was going to be able to fit the time required for each class into the amount of time he actually had to meet the high expectations of the teachers and also meet his expectations that he felt was necessary for his own success.

College surprised him. It was more like high school and less like he imagined college should be.  He assumed the world of college would have less social boundaries and more freedom to be himself. Instead it was still full of cliques. The stage combat majors were the jocks. The classical acting majors were the preps and the ballerinas were the mean girls. So if they were all at the top of the social pyramid, once again Kurt felt like he was at the bottom.

Even though he was at the bottom, he was hoping he could spend time with Rachel to make up for it. Unfortunately, she did not have all the same classes that he had, and in the couple they shared she was so occupied with her own groupies she had no time for him. In the hallways she had a gaggle of admirers that would follow her to and fro. Even though he was one of her friends, she did not seem to notice that he could not reach her even when he called her name.  She was too focused on the people around her and their praise. By the end of the day he was so exhausted from everything and he still had a pile of homework plus all the reading he needed to do just so he could survive another day at school. He needed to find a place of solitude to escape the utter chaos that threatened to engulf him.

 

 ------

 

Kurt found himself in an old coffee shop that he had heard about at school. The possibility of a quiet and relaxing place nearby really caught his attention. The coffee shop was tucked away in a quiet spot in New York three blocks away from NYADA and half a block away from a subway entrance that could take him home. It was beautiful and felt historic like a part of the old New York. He sat in a booth near the window in the corner of the shop. The view was breathtaking. He enjoyed watching the world around him flow by in a blur of movement, from people hurrying on their way. There were so many people yet no sound. Like someone had turned the world into a silent movie. He felt like a bystander. The world was moving yet he was not a part of it. He was not used to this. Lima was so small yet had seemed so busy and hectic to him. But it was nothing compared to what lay before him. This place was unfathomable. It seemed to never stop. At home there were days and nights but here it bled together making it seem like there were no endings or beginnings in time. If you were not careful you would find yourself three days later past out from exhaustion on your Egyptian cotton sheets not realizing even one day had passed.

Kurt drifted back from his thoughts, as the waiter brought him his steaming mug of coffee. Kurt slowly sipped his coffee allowing himself to relax and sink into the soft cushion of the booth. He couldn't help noticing the flow of fashion strolling by like a fashion show full of what not to wear and what was absolutely elegant to gaze upon. There was a smorgasbord of Kmart, Gap, Walmart, and Target but on the other hand there were outfits that looked like they could have walked right off the runaway. At home in Lima, it was acceptable to roll out of bed and pull on your worn out blue jeans and flannel and be at the top of the social pyramid. At least here people recognized the power fashion has on success. Using clothing as the foundation to prepare for the part they want to be in life. Kurt sat there sipping his coffee watching the world surround him. When the coffee finally ran out, he looked down at his watch to see what time it was and was shocked to see that four hours had gone by. It had been nice to get away from the chaos of thoughts in his head, but now it was time to return to reality. Kurt paid the waiter and rushed to the subway.

When Kurt slid open the loft door he looked around and noticed there were no signs that Rachel was home yet. Taking a breath of relief he decided that he would get busy making dinner. Putting his bag in his room, he went to the kitchen and started to look for what they had left to fix. Someone was going to have to go shopping. Things were getting low but he had just enough to put something together. He pulled his pans out and decided to make pasta. There was enough for dinner and leftovers, but they would definitely have to go shopping tomorrow.

When Kurt had finished with dinner and had the table set, Rachel still was not home. Kurt decided to start on his homework since he got lost in time at the coffee shop. He sorely needed that but now it was time to get back to the grind before he failed all of his classes even though they just barely started. Kurt finished the assignments for his theater movement class and checked the time. It had been an hour and a half and Rachel still was not back. Apparently he was going to spend dinner the same as he did at school, all by himself.

 

 ------

 

Saturday morning, Kurt found himself standing outside his new place on the front steps. He just stared at the wooden door before him. He was not sure how long he had been there. Kurt had been wandering through what felt like a frantic haze of the first couple days of school. With all the new assignments he had now to complete and with all his commitments he still had to do for [vogue.com](http://vogue.com), he was very overwhelmed. On top of all this, Blaine had been constantly texting him and sending him packages in the hopes that Kurt would get back with him. Taking a deep breath of the cold air around him, he tried to calm himself just a little. No matter how hard Kurt tried to explain how he felt to Blaine all it did was leave him in a state of emotional exhaustion. Kurt could not get through to Blaine and make him understand that he did not want to get back together and be boyfriends. Kurt wanted to try to be friends but that was all he could offer Blaine right now, but Blaine did not seem to understand this.

Kurt felt like he had been through more of an emotional grinder in the past few months than he had gone through in the last two years of high school. He went to pull his new keys out of his pocket and noticed the slight tremors in his hand. Kurt took another deep breath and tried to relax his body. His hands were still trembling as they knocked the keys together and made a clinking sound that chimed through the cold winter air. He realized he was not shaking because he was cold, but because he was nervous and excited. He was not sure why, he had been here before. Kurt tried to steady his breathing as he unlocked the door and pushed it open. As he stepped inside and past the threshold he resolved to leave his problems on the stoop.

Kurt still could not believe all of this was his. Moving over to the stairs, he placed his hand on the banister and slowly began to walk up the flight of stairs. Kurt allowed his hand to trail along the wood feeling its smooth surface underneath his fingertips. As he ascended the stairs to the third-floor, Kurt's other hand drifted to the key around his neck. His fingers brushed the metal that had been warmed by his skin. When Kurt finally found himself standing before the locked door on the third floor he was so anxious to see if the key he had been given would be able to unlock the door.

As Kurt took the key off from around his neck, his thumb caressed the surface one more time as he stepped forward. He slid the key into the keyhole on the old doorknob and took a deep breath in before turning it. He heard the click and turned the knob all the way and pushed the door open. Kurt was not sure what he was expecting but the sight of the room still caught him off guard. The whole room had a thin layer of dust. It looked like no one had lived in here for over 20 years. On one side of the room it had an old stone fireplace; on the other side of the room tucked in a corner was what looked like an old wooden bed frame. Other than the bed frame the room was empty, I guess it is not a storage room Kurt thought. As he glanced around the room his eyes were drawn over to the window in the back, where the soft morning light was cascading over the room it was haunting and beautiful at the same time. Kurt felt like being in this room was like stepping back into time, there was also something very calm and comforting about being there among the dust and cobwebs.

Kurt decided to look around for a light switch and found one beside the door. He went to turn it on but when the light came on it lasted for a few seconds and then it flickered out. Kurt glanced up in the direction the light came from and saw a very old looking light bulb. Kurt was surprised that it had even turned on in the first place with as old as it looked.

Kurt really wanted to clean this room up and make it his own, he remembered when he was touring the house that there was a broom and some other cleaners in a closet in the laundry room so he hurried down the stairs to get them. Standing in front of the closet, Kurt found the broom and some window cleaner, along with paper towels, a can of dust spray and a couple of other things he could use. He realized that there were some things he would need to go to a store and get, he would specifically have to remember to grab some light bulbs. He grabbed everything he would need and headed back up stairs. He’d have to move fast without the use of light, he would clean as much as he could before it got too dark.

When Kurt was finally back in the room he sat all the stuff down on the mantle place and headed towards the window with some paper towels and the window cleaner, he felt that was a good place to start. Spraying the cleaner on the window, he took some paper towels and wiped it off; Kurt had found himself fascinated with the old panes of glass. The glass was not like our new glass that was made by a machine that was flat and smooth. The old panes of glass were all the same size but each one was different in their own way. They all had ripples and little bumps scattered across them. As Kurt cleaned the window more sunlight was allowed to come in and cast a happy glow of light across the dusty room. Kurt eyes kept wandering back to a spot in the window where the ripples swirled around a group of bubbles that created little bumps in the glass. The design it created was intriguing, spellbinding. He was constantly wanting to run his hand across it and trace the swirls with his fingers. If Kurt was not careful he was sure he could get lost here all day and be content in doing so. When he was finally satisfied that the glass were clean he had to pull himself away from tracing his fingers across that spot once again. He had more work to do even if he preferred to stay in that spot.

He started sweeping the floor and when that was done; he grabbed a can of dusting spray and a rag and headed over to the old bed-frame. Kurt picked up one of the long skinny L-shaped pieces of the wooden frame and started dusting it off marveling at the beautiful coloring of the old wood once the layer of dust had been removed. He was intrigued to see that one side of the L-shaped wood piece he was holding had holes evenly spread along its side it was unlike any bed-frame Kurt had ever seen before. When he had finished with that piece he leaned it on the wall next to the window, then he picked up the other long skinny L-shaped piece and repeated the action when they both were done he moved on to the large piece that he was positive was the headboard. The headboard was ornately hand carved with leafs and beautiful wild roses it also had little inlays of different colored woods, and the more that Kurt removed the layer of dust off of the headboard, the more he was amazed at the beauty before him.

When he had finished with all four pieces of the bed and had them leaning on the wall, he noticed the golden tent of the sunlight that was coming through the window had diminished. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see what time it was, Kurt was a little taken back to realize that it was now evening and he had spent most the day in this room. He felt rejuvenated and completely at ease here, like all the cares and worries he had, had been put on hold for a little bit of time. As Kurt took a couple steps back toward the door he cast his eyes over the room he noticed that the fireplace and the mantel still needed to be cleaned he also had to dust the cobwebs from out of the corners but overall it was so much nicer, but he would have to come back another day and finish because he was slowly running out of sunlight. Kurt locked the door to the room behind him, wanting to keep this place safe and all to himself. He shook his head and mumbled to himself as he descended the stairs, "why did I lock that, it is not like anyone lives here and the front door will be locked. I must be losing it."

 

 ------

 

When Kurt arrived back at the loft, he found Rachel bustling around the living room, looking like she was trying to find something she had miss placed. As Kurt closed the door he heard Rachel's voice calling out to him. "Hey Kurt where have you bee...." She trailed off as she had turned around and saw him standing by the door. "What are you supposed to be? A dust bunny?" She said trying to hold back her giggles.

"No why!" Kurt said looking down at himself. He was sure he had brushed all the dust off of his clothes earlier.

"Well you ought to look in the mirror." She said with a smirk as the laughter she was holding back burst out from behind her lips.

In confusion Kurt walked over to the full size mirror in his room to see what Rachel thought was so funny. When he had caught his reflection in the mirror, Kurt had no choice but to laugh at himself, his hair and the tips of his ears had a thin layer of dust making it look like it had been frost bitten.

"See what I mean!" Rachel said trying to calm down from her laughter.

"Yeah!" Kurt said, trying to calm himself down as well.

"So where have you been?" She asked finally gaining control of herself.

"I went to the house today and into the room that had a locked door"

"You found the key!" She exclaimed with excitement.

"Yeah it was in the envelope that Mr. Collin had given me on the first."

"Oh! You didn't tell me earlier, we could've gone together. " Rachel replied as the excitement slowly faded from her voice and was replace with an edge of disappointment.

"I did not know if it was the right key, Rachel! I did not want to tell you and get your hopes up and then mine in return only to have them both dashed when the key did not work." Kurt replied trying to remove the disappointment from off of her features.

"So what did you find there?" Rachel asked with her cheery disposition starting to come back.

"Nothing much," Kurt replied, as Rachel gave him a come on more information would be nice look.

"Alright!" Kurt caved in and said "I'm serious there was only an old fireplace, an old bed-frame in the corner and a really old window."

"That was all!" Rachel pleaded for more information.

"Yes" Kurt replied then he smiled and said "There was just one other thing."

"What?" Rachel said with excitement returning to her voice.

Kurt straightened his face out as well as he could and replied in a very serious tone. "A lot of dust, a whole lot of dust." 

At that Rachel buckled over in a fit of laughter and Kurt followed her. When they both had calmed down Kurt brushed the dust from his hair and smiled at her and asked "What are you doing tonight?"

"Me and Brody are going to Callbacks tonight." She replied as her face slowly lit up, she clapped her hands in front of her. "Oh! Do you want to come with us it would be so much fun; we have not sung a duet together in forever!" She exclaimed with hope in her eyes.

Kurt was actually feeling like going out and having fun for the first time in a long while. Not only that, but he had not eaten lunch that day so he was a little hungry. It would be good, Kurt thought to himself, to let Rachel see him eating and having fun, at least then she wouldn't worry as much about him as she did right now.

"Sure. I would love to!" Kurt said with a genuine smile he had not worn in quite a while. Rachel squealed in delight as Kurt remembered the state he was in. "Yeah I'm not going anywhere like this!"  Kurt said as he gestured at himself.

Rachel tried holding back giggles as she choked out "Well you better hurry and take a shower then. Brody will be here in less than 15 minutes." As she said this Rachel's eyes widened as she remembered that she was trying to get ready herself, turning she rushed back into her room, leaving Kurt just standing there lightly sprinkled in dust.

Kurt was really enjoying his dinner and listening to all the other performers. Rachel had picked a table that happened to be placed in the center of the room stating that it was her favorite. At the time Kurt had chuckled at her and teased her about needing to be the center of attention. Rachel had just teased back and claimed that he now owed her two duets for that. So far he had avoided his repayments. Rachel pulled Brody up for a duet and sang a couple solos herself, he was pretty sure she was just waiting until he had finished his meal in the fear that if she interrupted him he would stop eating, which she probably was right. Kurt leaned back in his chair, content and sated. It had been nice to let go of his worries just for a little bit, he was positive that tomorrow they would all come tumbling down around him but for now it was nice.

As Kurt glanced around the bar, he noticed that the bar was almost full to the brim with people. When they had first arrived there was only a small handful. Everyone seem to be having fun, he glanced over where boisterous laughter had come from a table in the corner that was surrounded by different kinds of people. He was sure he had seen some of them at NYADA but he did not know any of their names. A hint of sadness had come over him. He kind of wished he had more friends in New York but he was not going to think about that right now. He pushed the feeling aside and glanced up to see Rachel and Brody singing another duet. Kurt chuckled to himself it was so funny how she could turn Callbacks into the Rachel Berry show. He was sure that there were other people that would love to sing but Rachel seemed to be taking up most of the performance spots. When they were done singing Brody and Rachel came back and sat down at the table.

 "I'm having so much fun," she said glancing over to Kurt, "We really should do this more often"

 "Yeah, it's been fun!" Kurt replied happily.

 "You have not even gotten up to sing yet," Rachel said as she eyed his food. "Are you finished? So that we can sing our duet now"

 Kurt pointed up towards the stage. "There is already someone else singing!"

"I know," Rachel said brushing his complaint off, "but we're up right after she is done."

As Kurt sighed in protest he looked up at the stage, to see one of the young ladies that had been sitting at the table in the corner. She was singing Skyscraper by Demi Lovato, her voice was full of emotion, Kurt really liked her rendition of the song. Rachel was sitting across the table from him critiquing every note and tremble in her voice, like Rachel was a teacher at NYADA. Kurt thought she was being a little harsh with her critiques; on the other hand that was Rachel for you. Anyone that was not Rachel Berry would never be as good as her. In her own little world Rachel was the best and everyone else was left wanting, but what could you do. Kurt thought back to high school when he had tried to knock her off her pedestal, but it had not worked and now he was just too tired to even try. When the young lady was done singing, Rachel grabbed his hand and started dragging him up to the stage.

 "Wait" Kurt protested "I do not even know what we are going to sing!"

 "Don't worry I picked it out. Do you remember that duet Happy Days Are Here & Get Happy we sang back in high school?" Rachel said as she pushed Kurt onto the piano bench.

 "Yes!" Kurt replied as he tried not to fall off the bench.

 "That is what we are going to sing." Rachel stated, with her do not argue with me look upon her face.

 "Alright" Kurt mumbled as he sat up straight and began to play the piano.

Kurt began to sing  "Forget your troubles"

Rachel started sing her part "Happy day"

As Kurt sang , "Come on get happy"

Rachel and Kurt's voices blended together beautifully with the melody of the piano twining together as Kurt found himself lost within the song. This is why Kurt loved to sing. The feeling of being able to put his whole heart and soul into the music was indescribable. When they had come to the part where Rachel sang a bit of the song by herself and Kurt glanced up for just a second and found himself hypnotized with eyes that were framed with blond hair. Kurt blinked and looked at the man again. He was sitting at the table in the corner that Kurt had been looking at earlier but at that time the man had his back towards them. He had been talking to his friends at the table. Kurt could now see that he was very handsome as Kurt’s eyes wandered back to gaze into his eyes once more. Kurt was looking into the most captivating eyes he had seen. There was something stormy and haunting about them. Rachel squeezed his shoulder tightly to bring Kurt back to earth as he realized he was supposed to be singing a song with her. Kurt had missed his lines and Rachel had covered them for him. Kurt pulled himself back into the song so he could finish it with her. Kurt was sure that Rachel was going to question him to find out what was wrong when they were finished.

When they were done and Rachel had drug him back to their chairs, she asked Kurt "Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm just a little tired." Kurt replied hoping she did not know that he was not telling the truth.

They settled back into the chairs and listened to the next person sing a song and Rachel began her critique. Kurt glanced over into the corner to notice that the man and two of the girls that were sitting at that table had left. Brody had noticed the direction that Kurt had been looking in.

"So do you know them?" Brody asked Kurt, gesturing over to the corner table.

"No! Do you?" Kurt asked back to Brody curious to know who they were.

"Yeah they're just a bunch of misfits from school." Brody said with disdain in his voice.

Kurt wondered what was so wrong with them that Brody would talk that way about them. From where Kurt sat they all look like really good friends and he did not see what was so wrong with that.

 Later that night when they had finally gone home and Kurt was tucked away in his bed he dreamed about the blond haired man with stormy blue eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

Monday morning Kurt had gotten out of bed early and prepared himself for the day, then he and Rachel walked to school together. He had spent all Sunday finishing up every bit of schoolwork he had left so he was able to enjoy the stroll through New York to NYADA with Rachel. Kurt was sure that by the end of the day he would have a pile of new schoolwork to do that the teachers were bound to give him but for the moment it was nice to  be on top of all the things he had to accomplish. Kurt had linked his arm with hers, as they talked about all of the things that went on last week. It was actually more like Rachel talked and Kurt listened but it was really nice to be back to some sense of order with everything else in his life in a state of mental chaos.             

When they had arrived at school, Kurt and Rachel said their goodbyes and parted at the front doors both heading in different directions to their first class. By the time Kurt had only one class left to go he had a ton of homework to do. When Kurt sat in one of the chairs in the back of the room he scanned the room, like he had done in each one of his classes earlier that day, looking for the man from Callbacks. He was pretty sure that he had to be a student from NYADA. Kurt had seen quite a few of the man's friends scattered through all the students that day but no matter how hard he looked Kurt was not able to find that man. Sighing  Kurt sat further back in his chair and waited for the rest of the students to come in. A couple minutes later he saw a little petite girl with Tinker Bell hair cut walk in. Kurt sat up straighter in his chair as he remembered that he had seen her at Callbacks sitting at the corner table. She was one of the girls that had left with the man he had been looking for. He did not know her name and he was a little afraid of her reaction if he just went over and asked her, hey! your friend that you were with at Callbacks on Saturday, by the way what is his name? Kurt just could imagine how well that would go over. She would probably give him a strange look and then just run away from him, thinking he was absolutely crazy, which was not the impression Kurt was trying to leave with her. Kurt remembered how much fun they seemed to be having all together at Callbacks on Saturday night. Kurt had kept thinking all day long how nice it would be, to be part of a group of friends like that regardless of what Brody said about them. Kurt was not sure if he agreed with everything that Brody had said. It seem like Kurt and Brody had very different opinions, almost like they were coming from two different directions and Kurt was sure that it would be the same with the kind of people they wanted to be friends with, so until he could figure out what kind of people they were on his own he was going to hold off the judgment against them and hopefully he could fit in and be their friend. Kurt decided he really would like to have friends other than Rachel in New York. Kurt had got so lost in his thoughts that a clearing of someone's throat drew him back to reality with a little jolt of shock. Kurt's teacher was now standing right in front of him.

"Mr. Hummel! Would you like to join us for the lesson today? If not, it would be cheaper to go find a spot in the park where you can finish your daydream." She said with a ‘you are wasting my time’ tone in her voice.

"No I want to learn." Kurt replied he was a little shaken up with the disdain in her voice.

"Good! Now then let's begin." She said as she walked to the front of the class and began her lesson. Kurt sat up straight in his chair and started pulling out the stuff that he would need for the class from his bag. He began to listen to everything she had to say just in case she glanced over, she would know he was intently paying attention to her.

 

 

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After Kurt's classes were all done he went looking for Rachel. He was hoping that they could spend some more time together. He was in desperate need of a friend right now. Even though Kurt was surrounded by students he felt so alone. The girl in his class ran out in a bit of a hurry, so he was not able to say hi. The next time Kurt would have class with her, he was going to make sure that he sat on the other side of the room closer to where she sat in the hopes they could at least strike up a conversation and attempt to become friends. Kurt scanned the main lobby looking for Rachel and hoped he would see the man from Callbacks, whom Kurt had been searching for all day. When he did not seen either one of them he decided to go stand and wait by the front door. Rachel caught him just as he reached the front door. "Hey Kurt!" She called to him, as Kurt turned to face her.

"Hey Rachel would you like to get some coffee with me?" Kurt said smiling at her with hope written all over his face.

"I'm sorry" Rachel said "I promised Brody that I would help him practice his lines tonight for an audition he has in two days." She flashed him an ‘I'm sorry’ face at him.

Kurt tried to make sure that there was no disappointment in his voice as he told her "That is okay I'll just go get coffee by myself." Kurt did not think she even heard him because Rachel quickly turned away from him, calling over her shoulder "I will not be home for dinner, so do not worry about me tonight, okay!" Her voice faded away as she pushed through the crowd of students, leaving Kurt  there in the middle of a crowded room all by himself again. Kurt just stood there wishing not for the first time since he had started school that he had more than just Rachel in New York as a friend.

 

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Kurt soon found himself slipping into a routine throughout the week. He would get out of bed and do his morning routine, fix breakfast, and then he would walk to school sometimes with Rachel and sometimes by himself if she decided to spend the night at Brody's. Then he would go through a grueling day of school followed by heading to the corner booth in the coffee shop to do some school work and grab a small bite to eat before he had to rush off to Vogue. By the time Kurt finally returned home he was exhausted and he was too tired to really find the energy to eat anything at all. On top of all that he had gotten at least 15 to 20 texts from Blaine each day. Kurt did not really mind the texts that were just being friendly, it was the ones that were kind of hinting very strongly that they needed to get back together that were taking a toll on his emotions. After such a long day, Kurt would prepare himself for bed then he would crawl tiredly under his covers and have a fitful night's sleep, only to wake up in the morning and start all over again.

By Friday, Kurt felt like he was going to lose all control of his emotions if he did not find somewhere to go and hide himself away from the world. He went to the coffee shop and got him something small to eat and a cup of coffee to go and decided to head off to the house he had inherited. It was the one place in New York he was positive he would be safe and no one, not even Rachel, would bother him there.

As Kurt unlocked the door he juggled his half empty cup of coffee and his sandwich he had not eaten yet. Opening the door and entering he quickly shut it and locked it behind him walking up the stairs as fast as he could to the room on the third floor at the end of the hall. Taking the key from around his neck he unlocked that door and pushed it open. Kurt entered the room and glanced around noticing that it was exactly how he had left it. Kurt walked over to one of the walls. He sat his cup of coffee and his book bag down on the floor then took his coat off and sat it on the book bag so that it would not get dirty. Kurt sat on the floor and leaned his shoulders against the wall, not caring about his outfit. Kurt scoffed at himself. Three months ago he would be angry at himself for ruining his clothes this way. Kurt pulled out his sandwich and slowly began to eat. It was very calm and peaceful in this room, Kurt started to feel his muscles slowly relax. When Kurt was finished eating  he walked towards the window in the back of the room. Stopping in front of it, Kurt gazed outside to the old tree in the backyard. The window in front of him was one of the oldest windows in the house. It seemed to have the original panes of glass from when the house was first built. In fact this whole room was like stepping back in time. Pulling his hand from his warm pocket and putting it on his favorite spot that he had found the last time he was here on the old glass window, Kurt finally felt more at peace with himself. Kurt leaned forward and placed his forehead on the window next to his hand. Letting the cold from outside seep through the window and into his skin. Kurt sighed, there was something comforting about this window, about this room in this house, that broke through all his barriers and allowed him to be at peace. For the first time in many years he felt completely safe, even though he could not understand why.

Kurt was not sure how long he stood at the window enjoying the peace and comfort he felt right there but he was slowly pulled out of his reverie when he noticed that the sun was setting and it was starting to become dark. Kurt realized that he was supposed to have gone to the store and bought some lightbulbs but in all the stress he had forgotten. So Kurt decided that he would go into one of the other rooms and pull a lightbulb from there and put it in here so that he could stay in this room a little longer. When Kurt had accomplished what he set out to do he stood in the middle of the  room, spotting the cleaning supplies he had left by the mantel piece, he went over and picked them up. He was determined he could take all the cobwebs down from the corners of the room tonight before he went back to the loft. Kurt had dusted all four corners of the room and all he had left to do was the section of the wall over the fireplace. He was not quite sure how he was going to reach the juncture of the wall and ceiling with the fireplace in the way. Kurt went over and stepped up on the hearth and leaned over the mantelpiece to reach up to the corner. This worked pretty good. He just had to be careful not to slip or he would fall and hurt himself. Then his teachers at school would be mad at him. Kurt grumbled about how that would just be his luck but he really wanted to finish this part of the room. Kurt shuffled his feet along the hearth to accomplish the task at hand. When he was almost done, there was just one more spot left that he had to rise onto his tip toes in order to reach. Taking one more swipe at the last cobweb on the wall his right foot tipped forward from under him as the stone he was standing on rocked. As Kurt clung to the mantelpiece trying not to fall, he carefully stepped off the hearth onto the solid floor. Kurt took a deep breath and let out a sigh of relief. He looked down where he had been standing only to see a rectangular stone at an odd angle, Kurt must have broken it loose when he had been standing on it. "Great." he said to himself, as Kurt bent over to brush the grout away that had been holding it in place. The stone moved underneath the pressure of his fingers. Kurt thought that there must be a small piece of grout underneath the stone so he carefully used his fingers to pry the stone out of its hole. What he saw underneath the stone surprised him.  There was a wooden box that the stone was protecting that was now slightly splintered in one spot. Inside the box there were some papers with an envelope. Kurt carefully went through the papers.  In between the sheets Kurt  found some smashed leaves. Some of the leaves were still in nice condition but others had disintegrated into powdery dust with their leaf skeletons hanging on by a thread. When Kurt was done scanning through the papers he looked down into the box to see what else there was. There were a couple stones that were really nice to look at. Kurt put the papers down carefully to the side of him and picked up one of the stones. It was smooth to the touch like someone had run their fingers over it lovingly so long that the oil on their hands had polished it. Kurt sat the stone down by the paper and picked the other one up and did the same. He glanced back into the box where he saw a small pile of what could only be tangled toys. Kurt was curious to see what kind they were, pulling them out and untangling them he noticed that there were about a dozen little toy soldiers. They were not the plastic ones like they made now but metal ones that were strong. Some of them had nicks in them and others were bent a little funny but they looked like they had been loved and played with. Kurt got the feeling that he was invading someone's memories."They must be special if someone had taken the time to build this box and hide them away from the world." Kurt thought to himself. He had a very strong desire to put everything back and keep it safe. He gently sat the soldiers down beside him and removed all the pieces of broken grout from inside the box and away from where the stones would sit. Kurt tried to be careful as he removed the splinters from the side of the wood box and made sure that the stone lid fit back where it belonged. When Kurt was satisfied with the progress he had made, he lifted the stone back out of the spot where it sat and carefully put the tin soldiers and the two pretty rocks back into their resting place in the box. As Kurt put the papers back in to the box he noticed that he had dropped the envelope. He picked up the envelope to put it back into the box but realized that there was something inside of it, he was really intrigued to know what was inside the envelope so he carefully opened it up since it was not sealed and pulled out a couple pieces of folded paper. As Kurt gently unfolded them and opened them up he noticed beautiful handwriting. It was an old letter. Kurt was really fascinated to know what it said so he began to read.

 

 

_December 29, 1914_

_My Dearest,_

_I might be going mad writing this letter. I don't know where else to turn, or who I can talk to. My secret is big and could destroy all that I hold dear. A type of secret that could tear families apart. I feel like my heart is about to shatter. In hopes that I could prevent myself from falling apart, I felt an urgency to write this letter to you my dearest. A letter of honesty._

_I have to pretend to my family, that I am someone I am not. Because who I really am, is seen as wrong in our society. I am afraid that this will never change, and I will never be allowed to have love, without losing everything I truly care about._

_Because of this, loneliness sweeps through me so strongly that it hurts. I long for a love that burns like fire and moonlight and someone I can share it with that can feel the same, but there is no one._

_I long for a day that I can be with you and that I can be my true self._

_I imagine a life, where our careers were not limited by our status. Where we could become anything our hearts desire.  Where our life would be full of inspiration and beauty. We could own a home together. It could be legally ours.  We could create a family of unwanted children and give them the love and support they never received. Our home would be full of the sounds of music, laughter, the pitter patter of little feet, and happiness. A place full of love. We could walk down the pathways of the park by our home holding hands, and be able to show affection to each other. where I could be with you, the man of my dreams. Where you could wrap me in your strong arms, and the world would fade away. Where no one would stare or say hateful words to us, and we would not have to fear for our own lives. A moment full of warmth, love and safety._

_My love! My father expects me to step up to my responsibilities by going into the family business and by marrying the woman of his dreams, not mine. If he knew the truth he would completely disown me. I do not know how much longer I can pretend and be the man he wants me to be. When every part of me aches to be the person I want to be._

_I want to write plays, stories, and music.I want to create beautiful things out of words. Like a painter takes paint and brush to create his heart's desire on a canvas. But this will never be good enough or acceptable to my father. If I do as he says I will end up in a job that I hate, and married, with no love. I will become a shell of a man and lose myself. And to think of how unfair it is to the poor girl I will marry. She deserves all the love and happiness  in her life, not being trapped in a loveless marriage. Regardless of who she is, I will never be able to love her because my dear, she's not you. And whenever I  meet you, my father will never approve of our relationship._

_I'm afraid I will never have the opportunity to face these problems because sadly you do not exist. You are only an idea. A beautiful idea that I have painted in my mind. Unfortunately that is where you must stay._

_You will always have my heart and be my Life Dream,_

_Sincerely yours,_

_Tom_

 

 

Kurt found himself riveted to the spot as he read the letter, as a myriad of emotions swept over him. Kurt wanted to reach out to Tom and wrap his arms around him in comfort, and let him know that things would get better but then he remembered all the bullying he had went through at school and then he wasn't sure what he would say. Sighing deeply and holding back a cascade of feelings that were waiting to break through the dam he realized he was still sitting on the hard rock of the hearth. Kurt placed the stone back into its position with everything  it had held dear, except the letter that he had set beside him. Kurt stood up and brushed himself off and picked the letter and the envelope up and moved over to where his coat and book bag were sitting. As Kurt picked up his coat and wrapped himself in it, he sat back down on the floor by his book bag, not caring about his coat or the state of his clothing anymore. He gently unfolded the letter and began to read again. This time as Kurt read the letter he was unable to hold back the tears as they trickled down his face.

Kurt sat the letter down in his lap after he read it at least three times as he wiped the tears away from his eyes with the handkerchief he had pulled out of the pocket of his coat . Kurt thought back on his life remembering the bullies. Yes things do get better, he thought to himself.  Kurt had become a stronger person because of all of the things he had gone through in high school. Now he lived in New York City and went to a theater art college. He also worked for a fashion design magazine. It was stressful work but he loved doing it. Kurt had many different kinds of opportunities before him. He was not obligated to do what his father did. Kurt was glad he did not have to work in the tire shop with his father. He was not sure he could live in Lima for the rest of his life. Kurt loved working with his father in the shop though. He was really good at it and could fix anything broken that was placed in front of him. It was also enjoyable, it just did not make his heart sing with excitement like fashion and theater did. Kurt thought about Tom. Did he end up marrying someone he could not love and work in his father's company or was he able to break away and live the life that he dreamed of? Did he ever find the love he was searching for? Kurt wished he had the answers to the questions he desired but had no idea about what happened to Tom or who he even was. Kurt did not have a last name so he was not able to search Google to find out who Tom was. The words that Tom wrote floated  back to the top of his memories, "I long for a love that burns like fire and moonlight and someone I can share it with that can feel the same." Kurt wanted to know if he had that with Blaine. He felt like he had loved Blaine but he was not sure that they had a love that burned like fire and moonlight. Kurt was pretty sure that Blaine had not felt the same or he would not have cheated on him like he had. Yes, Kurt knew that long distance relationships were hard. He had really missed Blaine and he knew that Blaine had missed him. Kurt had wondered if they were only together because Blaine happened to be the first openly gay boy he had met in high school.  Kurt held on to that hope that he could be with somebody and that somebody could love him back. He had wanted to love somebody for so long and he finally had found someone he could, but was it real? Kurt did not know. But Kurt felt like it had been real or was that just another time he had fooled himself into believing something that wasn't there. There was a part of Kurt that felt guilty. He felt like there was something that he could have done to make Blaine feel that Kurt was truly his and that Kurt was madly in love with him, but on the other hand part of Kurt felt like no matter what he had done or not done, Blaine would have eventually still have cheated. Kurt knew it took two to make a relationship work. Kurt was not perfect but he had tried. Kurt had many opportunities to go out with other men in New York City but he had turned them down because Blaine held the key to his heart. Now Kurt's heart was shattered. It was broken into tiny pieces and he didn't even know if he could give the key to anybody ever again or if anybody would ever want a broken hearted Kurt.

Kurt sat the letter beside his book bag and curled up into a small ball on the floor and rested his head on his bag. He was tired. All the stress, exhaustion and loneliness had swept over him with the emotions that had come from reading Tom's letter. Kurt did not know if he had enough energy to get himself home so he thought he would just take a little bit of a nap here before he tried. As Kurt's eyes fluttered closed he wondered what it would feel like to have a love that burns like fire and moonlight and if he would ever find someone that he could share it with and that would feel the same about him.


	5. Chapter 5

Kurt woke up a little disoriented as he came back into consciousness. Kurt thought that his bed felt harder than usual. He was not quite sure where he was and his muscles were stiff and achy. He could feel the warmth of the morning sunlight seeping into his skin and warming his body. Kurt opened his eyes to realize that he had fallen asleep on the floor and it was now Saturday. Kurt sat up and stretched out his legs before him as his coat fell off of his shoulders. Kurt felt more rested than he had in a long time this morning in spite of sleeping on the floor. Kurt glanced over at the bed frame that was still resting against the wall. He wondered what it would take to fix it up and use it. He was going to have to find that out. He had really liked the peace and quiet he had found in this room as he slept. Then Kurt looked down at Tom's letter that was sitting by his bag and carefully picked it up. He found himself reading it one more time before he gently folded it and stuck it back in the envelope that it had come in and slipped it into a safe spot in his book bag for later.

Kurt decided to get up and stretch all of the kinks out that he had in his body. As he pulled his phone out of his pocket Kurt noticed all of the texts he had missed from Blaine last night and this morning. Kurt sighed to himself and rolled his eyes in irritation. He really wished that Blaine would understand the meaning of "I need a little time to myself." Kurt really felt like he needed to be allowed more time for himself to heal before he entered into any kind of relationship especially one with Blaine again. Kurt did not understand why just being friends was not good enough for Blaine when that was all Kurt could offer right now. As he finished scanning through all the texts he noticed that Rachel had not texted him or given Kurt a phone call. She most likely was with Brody, so she would not worry about him at the moment. "That was good," Kurt thought. He did not like worrying her but a text from her letting him know where she was would have been nice. He also noticed that there was nothing from his dad which was very good because that meant everything was still alright with his father. Kurt did not know if he could talk to his dad right now anyway, because his emotions were too close to the surface. Kurt was sure that his dad would notice that something was wrong and he was not sure how to explain everything that was going on to his dad, on top of explaining how he was feeling right now. So instead of returning any of Blaine’s texts, Kurt just called a taxi to come and get him to take him back to his and Rachel's loft. Putting his phone back into his pocket, Kurt reached down for his coat and picked it up off the floor brushing the dust off. If he did not stop getting his clothes all dusty and covered in cobwebs his dry cleaning bill was going to skyrocket through the roof. It was starting to get ridiculous. His beautiful clothes did not need all the neglect he had been putting them through lately. Kurt was going to have to make an effort from now on to make sure he kept them clean. Once Kurt had put his coat on and picked his book bag up from off the floor, he glanced around the room one more time. It was starting to look so much better here. Kurt felt so at peace and happy in this room. Kurt took another deep breath in and sighed in contentment as he turned and walked out the door, locking it behind him.

When Kurt arrived back at the loft, he noticed that it was quieter than usual. Rachel was not walking around singing all of her voice exercises. Kurt realized that she must be out with Brody. He walked over to the refrigerator to see if she had left a note. There was a note in Rachel's handwriting that said

"Be out with Brody all weekend see you on Monday morning." signed Rachel Berry followed by three golden stars.

Kurt had chuckled to himself. How many Rachel's did she think he lived with that she had to sign her last name? Sometimes Kurt felt like he was living with at least four different ones, due to all of her personality changes she had been making since school started back up. Kurt remembered asking her just last week and she had replied "I need a lot of practice now so it will be perfect when I am a great star." Kurt rolled his eyes and laughed at the memory as he walked towards his room.

Setting his stuff down on his bed Kurt decided that he would pull out his schoolwork and get it finished up so he would be ready for Monday. Kurt really tried to do his schoolwork but every time he would get almost finished his mind wander back to Tom's letter. Finally after an hour of hardly getting anything done he sat his schoolwork down and gently remove the letter from the pocket he had put it in. As Kurt read it one more time he felt strongly compelled to write an answer to this letter so he pulled out a notebook and a pencil and begin writing.

 

_Dear Tom_

_I just read the letter in the secret compartment in your room. Your letter is truly compelling and I wish there was a way that I could help you._  
_I know you feel an obligation to your father but you have to obey your heart. It is truly a mistake to marry somebody you do not love. Do not despair. The man of your dreams may just be out there in the mist, just a heartbeat away._

 

When Kurt was finished he rolled his eyes and scoffed at himself. How stupid was it to write a letter to a man that was no longer living? Kurt threw his notebook to the other side of his bed and gently picked up Tom's letter putting it back in the envelope that it had came in and sticking it away in his bedside drawer for safety. Then Kurt decided to get back to all of the homework he have left to do, as he thought to himself, "I am going to have to find a club at school to join and make some new friends before I lose my mind and go crazy." Monday morning Kurt was going to put more effort into finding somewhere he belonged. Hopefully the tinker bell girl in his last class would be a prime candidate. He was just going to have to try harder to make sure to be her friend.

 

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Monday morning Kurt asked Rachel about all the clubs she knew that they had at school, as they walked toward NYADA. She had been more than happy to tell him about all the clubs that they had available, the ones that she was in, the one she wanted to be in and the one she didn't have time for that were still really good that Kurt might be interested in. Kurt was getting really excited with all the options that he would be able to choose from. Rachel also mentioned that there was a bulletin board posted in one of the halls at school that was full of fliers. Kurt rushed by that hall every day but never had he taken the time to stop and look at them. Rachel assured Kurt that they would have more information on the posters as well as the times that the clubs were being held. When Kurt and Rachel had reached NYADA they parted ways at the doors and headed to their own classes. He would see Rachel later today. He had at least one class today and two tomorrow with her, so if he came across any clubs he was interested in he would just be able to ask her about them then. Kurt was really excited for today. He had an extra bounce in his step as he headed off to his class. At lunchtime Kurt had eaten his lunch in a bit of a hurry so that he would have a little extra time to go look at the posters in the hall that Rachel had mentioned to him. Kurt found himself standing in front of a big bulletin board covered with different club posters. Some of them were of the clubs Rachel had mentioned earlier but one of the posters that had caught his eye was for a club that Rachel had not mentioned. "What is Adam's Apples?" Kurt said out loud to himself as he was deep in his thoughts. "It's NYADA's show choir, you should, join it is super fun!"

A pleasant voice had said to him and it had pulled Kurt out of his reverie. When Kurt had realized someone had said something to him, he looked around to see if he could find the person that had spoken to him but no one seemed to be there. As Kurt turned to his left he saw the back of the man that looked really familiar, by the time his brain reminded him that it was the man from Callbacks he had been looking for, the man had slipped into the crowd of students and out of sight. Kurt was sure he was just seeing things because he had been looking for the man from Callbacks for over a week now. It was just Kurt's luck that he was going senile. He shook his head and walked up towards his next class. He was definitely going to have to join clubs and find friends before he started hallucinating something else.

Later that night after he had gotten back from vogue.com, Kurt curled up on the couch with a cup of hot lemon tea to help his voice and settled into the corner of the couch trying to get comfortable. Kurt started thinking about his last class that day and how it went with his efforts to make the little tinker bell girl his friend, at the time Kurt still did not know her name and he did not know what else to call her and it kind of fit. Kurt had chosen a seat around the area that she had picked last time since he had arrived first. When she had arrived to class, she had given him a strange intrigued look but she still sat down in the chair next to him. Kurt nodded his head in her direction and had said hi to her with a friendly smile on his face and she had said hi back to him and then the class began. So they had no time to offer each other names and no other conversation had taken place until halfway through the class when they were supposed to be writing something down that the teacher had made sure that she had given them enough time to do. The girl bent over and said "my name is Abby" as she smiled at him. "Hi Abby! My name is Kurt" he had said, then the teacher had demanded everybody's attention to the front of the class again and they had no more time to talk. At the end of class she had gotten up and left the class in a hurry like last time but at least he had a name to call her now. Kurt took a sip of his lemon tea, as he enjoyed the warmth and the flavor rolling across his tongue, he sighed in contentment as his body relaxed even more. At least Kurt was making progress with Abby. Maybe in a month they could be really good friends, but for right now he was willing to take it slow so he did not scare her away. Kurt looked up to see Rachel come into the living room and sit down beside him on the couch with her own cup of tea. "How are you, how was your day?" she asked Kurt as she nestled into the corner of the couch and pulled her feet up beside her.

"It was good, a little lonely." Kurt had replied to her question."but I think I found a couple clubs that I am interested in."

"Yeah" she replied to his answer with a little bit of excitement in her voice. "which ones?"

"Well I was thinking about joining The Tennessee Williams Play Writing Club, it looked like something I would be really interested in doing since I started writing a play back in high school." Kurt said, as he lifted his cup to his lips to take another sip of his tea then Kurt licked the trace of honey from his lip. "I was also thinking to meet people I would join the show choir called Adam's Apples."

"Oh no no no!" Rachel rushed to reply cutting off the rest of Kurt's sentence, leaving him completely baffled at her response. "No listen to me there's a very rigid performing arts hierarchy at NYADA and show choir is the lowest of the low. It is beneath stage managers and carpenters. That is social and career suicide."

"But at McKinley..." Kurt tried to reply as Rachel cut him off again, as she tried to put as much persuasion into the meaning of her words.

"We're not at McKinley anymore. We are done being underdogs. If you want to join a club do anything but the Adam's Apples. That's what all the future chorus kids do. If you do show choir in college you might as well be doomed to a life playing a dancing teacup at Disneyland!" Rachel proclaimed in exasperation. She then lifted her cup up to her lips and took another drink looking back at him with a ‘you cannot be serious’ expression plastered all over her face.

The room fell into a quiet lull. Kurt did not know what to say after that and he was sure that Rachel was feeling the same. After some time had passed Kurt tried to strike up another conversation but his heart was just not into talking anymore. After a while they both gave up and Rachel pulled herself off the couch and went to head towards her room. "I am going to do some school work that I really need to finish" she said, leaving Kurt on the couch all by himself. Kurt sighed deeply. He was never going to be able to figure her out. She was so focused on popularity right now he wasn't sure if he could trust her view on the Adam's Apples. Was it really that bad to be part of a show group in college? Apparently to Rachel it was. Kurt sighed in frustration as he leaned further back into the couch. At least Kurt had one club he could be a part of. The only problem was that everyone in that club was more interested in writing than actually making friends, leaving Kurt back at square one and still with no idea how to change it. "Ohhh," Kurt groaned. He really should go do his homework too. So Kurt decided to go do it. As he pulled himself off of the couch and sat on the edge of the couch cushion, he noticed that Rachel had left her mug on the coffee table. She really needed a maid since she always thought it was okay to leave her stuff all over the house and he was constantly picking up after her. Kurt grabbed Rachel’s and his mug and took them over to the sink so he could rinse them out and sit them beside the sink so that he could wash them tomorrow. As Kurt dried off his hands he began to walk towards his room. He was going to have to start his homework. There was no way he was going to be able to put it off any longer. But 20 minutes later Kurt found himself in the middle of his bed surrounded by unfinished homework reading Tom's letter for the second time that night.

 

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By Thursday night Kurt was sure that he was going to mentally burst into a thousand pieces if he could not talk about everything that he had tumbling around in his head. Kurt sat his bag down on his bed and threw his body down on the bed as well. He was exhausted. He was sure that holding everything back was draining all of his energy on top of everything he had to do for school and work. Kurt really needed to talk but to whom?! He had no idea who he could talk to. Kurt had so much on his mind and between everything going on in his life he really needed a sounding board, like yesterday. Kurt stretched out across his bed stretching all of his muscles in his body and started thinking about it. He had been slowly making progress with Abby but he was afraid if he opened up and let her know everything that was going on she would be overwhelmed and not talk to him ever again. He still had not reached a point in their relationship that he could ask her about her friend that was with her at Callbacks but Kurt was confident they were getting close to that point which he felt was really good. If Kurt talked to his dad, his dad will just worry about him and he did not want to make his dad worry anymore than he already did. If Kurt talked to Blaine, it would most likely give Blaine hope that Kurt was ready to get back together. Which Kurt was not sure if he would be ready to deal with that right now.

Kurt rolled over and pulled his computer out from its case and started it up. Kurt had tried to talk to Rachel but no matter what he did or said to her there never seemed to be the right time to talk to Rachel because she seemed to be in a constant state of emotional hot flashes. Rachel was jumping from being his friend, to being a complete diva, to ignoring him all together all for the attention from her small group of growing fans. Kurt felt like he was stuck in a continual cycle of, wash, rinse and repeat with her. Just when Kurt would get up enough courage to talk to Rachel about the letter she would do something he was not expecting and completely throw him off balance and then he would lose the courage he had finally build up that Kurt needed to say anything to her at all about Tom. All Rachel wanted to talk about was who he should be friends with, who he should not be friends with and what he should do at school so that Kurt did not ruin his career before it even started. Rachel was starting to feel like a broken record most of the time. He was really starting to get tired of always feeling like Rachel thought he could not manage his own life. So even though he really needed to talk he was glad that Rachel was not home to talk to him right now because he did not know if he could handle what she would have to say to him instead of listening to him. And on top of all that, Kurt could not stop thinking of Tom's letter, to the detriment of everything else he had to finished that week. Kurt rested his head on the pillow that he had pulled down and tucked under his chest to prepare himself to work on the computer, as he sighed in frustration. Kurt started taking deep breaths to calm himself. If he allowed himself to get too frustrated he would never get his homework done. Just as Kurt had calm himself enough to at least start some homework he heard a familiar ring tone coming from Skype on his computer. "No" Kurt groaned out loud "please do not let it be Blaine or my dad." Kurt was positive he could not handle talking to either one of them right now and if he did not answer a call from them they would start worrying about him and it would only make it worse for him. So Kurt cautiously glanced up at his computer to see who had called him and was pleasantly surprised he saw Brittany's name and picture on the screen. It had been a while since Kurt had last talked to Brittany and he realize he had really missed talking to her. Also she most likely was the perfect candidate to talk to him right now. She would not think Kurt had gone crazy, which was a nice idea for a change.

"Hi boo!" Kurt had said after he had clicked to connect the call. He had pushed the pillow underneath him better and arranged himself so that he would be able to be more comfortable while they talked. Hopefully he would have a long time to talk to her, which was exactly what Kurt had needed right now.

"Hi my dolphin! Lord Tubbington told me that I needed to call you." Brittany said in a singsong voice, with a brilliant smile on her face.

"Lord Tubbington told you to call me?" Kurt said as her words had caught him off guard; it must have been longer than a little while if he was not still accustomed to the way she talked, which made him miss her even more than he had before.

"Yeah I always listen to him. He is always right." she replied with a serious look on her face as her face started to soften and a look a worry replaced it. "So what do you really need to talk about, it must be serious if Lord Tubbington needed to tell me to call you."

"No not serious I just really need to talk to someone and did not have anyone in New York that I could talk to." Kurt said as Brittany's face turned into a brilliant smile.

"So if you couldn't talk to Rachel does that mean you have a boyfriend now?" she said as she was grinning from ear to ear.

"Oh no!" Kurt stuttered "I just have a lot of things going on right now that I needed to talk to someone about"

"Okay I would love to listen if you need to talk right now just give me a minute so I can get comfortable in my listening position." Brittany said as she was moving her computer around and preparing herself to listen. When Brittany had finally stopped moving Kurt could see her through the screen of his computer. She had laid flat on her stomach with her feet slightly kicking in the air and her head rested on her hands with her elbows placed close to the computer.

"I'm ready now!" Brittany exclaimed "You know, Santana says that I listen better like this." She had gestured to herself lying on her bed.

"Oh okay" Kurt said a little taken back not quite understanding Brittany and Santana's relationship.

"Come on Kurty start talking, if you don't tell me anything I can't listen you know." Brittany said with a patient look on her face. Kurt smiled back at her. There was a reason why he could tell her anything. He really needed to try to stay in touch with her better. He had really missed her friendship. So Kurt began talking to Brittany and telling her all about the house that he had inherited, NYADA and then finally he had told her about the secret spot that he had found in the room that held the letter from Tom. Brittany had sat there the whole time and listened to him patiently nodding her head in all the right places. It was really nice to feel like someone actually cared about what he said. When Kurt had told her everything that was written in the letter Brittany had smiled at him with a knowing look

"So Kurty I see, that you memorized it!" Brittany said smirking at him.

Kurt felt a blush slowly creep across his face "It was compelling." he protested.

"Compelling?" Brittany said with a questioning look on her face as she nodded her head to the side.

"It was sad and I could not stop reading it" Kurt clarified for her.

"Yes it was!" Brittany said as she dropped her facial expression into a pout "now I'm really sad too" She exclaimed "hold on just one minute" as Brittany moved over to her nightstand and open the drawer and pulled something out of it. Kurt noticed that it was a pack of gum. As Brittany took one and unwrapped it then put it in her mouth. "Do you want one?" she said as she sat back on her bed and held another piece out to her computer screen for him to take "It will make you happy!"

"No thank you!" Kurt said softly to her, as a gentle smile crossed his face. This was one of his favorite things about her.

Brittany's smile fell a little as she asked "dolphin are you sure, you don't want to be happy?"

"Oh no Brittbritt talking to you it is all the happiness I really needed right now" Kurt said to Brittany trying to assure her that everything was fine. "You have made me happy just listening to me" Kurt said with a big smile on his face. Kurt really wished that Skype worked the way Brittany thought it did and he could reach through the computer and give her a hug but he knew that was not possible.

"So" Brittany said dragging the word out as she stretched the piece of gum between her fingers and her teeth. "Did you write Tom after you read his letter?"

"Yes" Kurt replied a little sheepishly "I really wanted to help him but I did not know how."

"Did you mail it to him?" Brittany asked with a hopeful look on her face

"I can not send it to him."Kurt said softly.

"Why not?" Brittany asked with a questioning look on her face.

"Because he lived a long time ago and is no longer living" Kurt said hoping that he had made the explanation simple enough for Britney to understand.

“Well Lord Tubbington and Sir Isaac Newton believes in time travel you know, so do I!" She proclaimed as she grinned from ear to ear. "wouldn't it be cool if you mailed a letter to Tom and he got it!"

"Yes it would." Kurt answered not sure how else to respond to what Brittany had said. It was so amazing that she could still believe in the impossible, in wide eyed wonder. Maybe if Kurt believed as much as Brittany did in the impossible, Kurt would one day be able to be whole again, instead of a shattered remnant of himself. Kurt sat and listened to Brittany ramble on about her life. Kurt loved to listen to her talk, the way she saw the world was fascinating and the descriptions she gave to him were intriguing. Kurt was content and for the first time he felt like he truly could find something to believe in. He was not sure what but just maybe he could believe in the impossible too.


	6. Chapter 6

After Kurt talked to Brittany on Thursday, he was able to focus better on his schoolwork and his job. He made it through the weekend. He had even been feeling emotionally stable; enough that he had called his dad and had a great conversation with him. Kurt's dad had a small rough patch that week but had started to feel better. It was exactly what the doctor said he should be going through so they were all hoping for the best. He should come through his treatment with flying colors. The knowledge that his father was doing okay had taken a big weight off of his shoulders that he did not know he had. It also made the weekend more enjoyable to have that stress relief for a moment. Kurt was sure that the stress would slowly sneak back in over the weeks to come but for now the worry for his dad had been pacified. Kurt took in a deep breath and let it out slowly sinking more into his soft pillows and comforter around him. It was now Monday morning and he had to get up and get ready for school but he felt so comfortable right here and now. He had actually had a good night’s rest for once. Kurt felt like he could be on the top of the world. If this is what happened when he talk to Brittany he needed to do it more often. Finally pulling back his covers and climbing out of bed he noticed that the house was calm and peaceful, which meant Rachel had not returned from spending time at Brody's this weekend. Kurt started his vocal exercises as he headed lazily to the bathroom. Since he would not have to fight Rachel for it, he could take his time and enjoy his morning routine without worrying about throwing someone else off of theirs. Kurt had finished breakfast and was completely ready to go to NYADA. He headed out the door with a big smile on his face. Today was starting out to be a very good day. As Kurt was walking through New York on his way to school, he started thinking about the last class he had with Abby. They had both arrived early to class and had sat next to each other. He was able to strike up a conversation with her and then found out they had a lot in common including fashion. He strongly questioned some things she thought were fashionable but others he had agreed with her whole heartedly about. Kurt was really excited to see Abby in class today. He really wanted to tell her about all the new photographs that had come across his desk at work from the new Spring lines that were coming out and all the new colors that were going to be in trend this year. That had him in a state of giddiness all by itself. When Kurt had finally arrived at NYADA, he looked around for Rachel but he did not see her so he headed off to his first class.

Later that day, Kurt arrived to the one class he shared with Rachel. She had already arrived and was surrounded by all of her sycophants that were 'oohing' and 'ahhing' over her. Kurt sighed deeply as he sat down and sunk into his chair. A pang of sadness was trying to sneak in and dampen his happiness that he had found today but Kurt was not going to let that happen. So Rachel was going to ignore him today. That was fine. He would just go and look for another club to join during lunch, one that he would be sure he could make friends at, lots of friends. As the class went on Kurt just rolled his eyes at Rachel. She had made sure that she was the first one to sing and then she let someone else sing one song only to return to sing another song. At this rate she was singing every other song during the class and most everyone else thought she was being so gracious to allow them to sing. What Kurt did not get is that it was supposed to be a free sing class where everyone had an opportunity to sing and exercise their voice. Kurt wanted to sing at least one song. He had so many songs that would fit the mood he was in and were waiting to burst out of him but he was not sure if he was willing to fight all the other students in the class that were jostling for what little time that Rachel was leaving over for them, while she rested her voice for a moment. When the class was finally over Rachel had gotten up and all of her fans had followed her out giving her praise of how beautiful her voice was today, as they went. Rachel did not even give any indication that she noticed Kurt was even there at all. She was so engrossed in all the compliments that were being given to her. "Oh well!" Kurt muttered to himself as he picked up his bag to leave and head to his next class, she was just being Rachel.

When lunchtime had finally came around Kurt found himself standing in front of the bulletin boards in the hall looking at all the options that he had before him for a club to join. There were a lot of clubs that Kurt had liked but his eyes kept wandering back to the poster of the Adam's Apples. Kurt still did not understand how joining a show choir would hurt his chances in his future career but Rachel was absolutely positive that it would. Kurt could only remember how much fun he had had in the high school show choir and all the friends that he had made. He wondered how many good friends he could make in the Adam's Apples so he would not be so lonely anymore. Kurt had been standing there staring off into space, lost in thoughts when a charming voice started talking to him. Kurt looked up and saw the captivating stormy blue eyes he had remembered from Callbacks. Kurt tried to catch his breath and calm his racing heart before it beat its way outside his chest.

"You're thinking about signing up aren't you" The man standing in front of Kurt said with a British accent.

"Oh ah...maybe....iiii... you are?" Kurt spattered not sure what to say until he could get his wits about him again.

"Adam, a senior and founder and fearless leader of the Adam's apples. The group you are very seriously considering joining." Adam said with a brilliant smile on his face.

"I'm Kurt.." Kurt tried to say as Adam had finished his name before he had the chance to.

"Kurt Hummel! Your winter showcase performance was breathtaking!" Adam said with a look upon his face that Kurt could not describe. All he knew was that it took his breath away. Kurt had never been looked at in such utter amazement before in his life. Not even Blaine had ever looked at him like that, like Adam thought he could walk on the moon. Kurt was slightly taken aback because Adam was a stranger to him.

"And now you're here and wondering where you fit in and how could college be so much like high school. You want to join my group but you're worried it's a step backward and no I'm not a mind reader, I'm just astute like you. We need you! We want you!" Adam said with so much passion in his voice and beaming another one of his brilliant smile at him. Leaving Kurt reeling that somebody needed him and wanted him in their group. He had never felt needed and wanted more in his life and that Adam a complete stranger had made him feel this way. This was disconcerting to Kurt.

So Kurt replied to Adam in the only way he could think of at that moment "Well I am very impressed that you said that all in one breath but I don't think I will be joining." Kurt said as he turned to walk away from Adam.

"Ahh..man... A hard sell." Adam said as he turned to follow Kurt.

Kurt got a thrill of excitement and happiness when he noticed that Adam was following after him as he walked away.

"I respect that but I'm not willing to go down without a fight." Adam said as Kurt rounded the corner and started going down the flight of stairs. "Come hear us sing!" Adam pleaded, as Kurt stopped on the stairs and looked up at the beautiful man standing above him. "No strings attached, no secret timeshare, condo, Ponzi scheme. Just our voices and your ears.“ Adam said gently smiling down at him.

Kurt's heart had softened at the gentle sound of Adam’s voice and his beautiful smile that he had given him. Facing the man before him, Kurt was not sure why joining the Adam's Apples was not a good idea in the first place. The only way Kurt was going to find out the answers he wanted had been to go see the show choir for himself and not trust what Rachel said about them. So Kurt gave Adam a hesitant smile and said "yeah sure why not!" The smile that he had received back from Adam from saying this had made his heart skip a beat.

"Okay can you meet me at the auditorium after school today?" Adam asked hesitantly.

"Yes! That would be nice." Kurt said to Adam as he turned and walked away blushing from ear to ear from the experience of being within touching distance of the man he had been seeking for a couple weeks now. He was not sure what to expect when he had finally found the man with stormy blue eyes but this was nothing like he had imagined it would be. Kurt had always been the person that had thrown himself at someone he liked. He had never been the one being chased before. Kurt took a moment to savor all the feelings that it had invoked in himself, because he was sure it would never happen again. Kurt knew that Adam just wanted him for his club and not for anything else but it was a nice feeling to be desired. Someone wanted him enough to chase after him. Like Kurt was everything that Adam needed at this very moment. Kurt knew it was not real but he was going to allow himself to have just a moment to fantasize that it was before he came back to reality.

 

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Kurt sank into the soft cushions of his favorite chair by the corner table in the coffee shop after school and after meeting Adam at the auditorium. Kurt relaxed into the chair and sighed in relief. His day had been too long and completely filled with way too many emotions that overwhelmed him. Francesca the waitress took one look at Kurt and went to get his favorite order of the coffee he liked to drink. As she sat it down in front of him, she smiled and said "So are you having a good day today or a slightly rough one?" She was a sweet lady in her early 50s and always took a little time to talk to Kurt whenever he came into her coffee shop. Kurt had come into the café at least two times before. The first time Francesca sat herself down across the table from him placing his food in front of him. She proceeded to strike up a conversation about where he was from and she wanted to know everything about him. Ever since then he has noticed that she was the mother hen of the coffee shop and he knew that she knew everybody's coffee orders and their names by heart. Kurt could see why everybody that came in to her café really loved her.

"Kind of a little of both but just being here makes it better." Kurt answered Francesca with a smile on his face.

"That is good." Francesca said as she leaned down to pinch his cheek and sent him a caring smile. She then patted his cheek gently as she turned to bustle off to help someone else with their order, leaving Kurt sitting there with his order of food. Kurt smiled at the back of her as she walked away. Picking up his coffee and taking a sip, he relaxed even a little more because this place felt more like home then an actual café. She kind of reminded him a little of Abby. They had the same personality type. Kurt's mind wandered back to class earlier that day. When he had arrived Abby was already there and they struck up a conversation about fashion colors. It was fun to talk to her and to debate over fashion. It was something that Kurt loved to do with Mercedes but she was too busy now with her new album to have the time to talk about fashion with him. He did not realize how much he truly missed their conversations until he was sitting there in class with Abby. Kurt really missed his friends from high school. He realized that when he had the Skype call with Brittany and now he missed Mercedes. Kurt knew he was no longer in high school and that they were all growing up and going their own separate ways but that did not mean he would not  sit here and miss them more every day. Kurt took a deep breath as the realization hit him. There was a small handful of people that he missed but Blaine was not one of them. Yes he missed their friendship but he did not miss their relationship. His and Blaine's relationship had taken a lot of energy to maintain for Kurt and it was almost a relief to not have to maintain it anymore. Kurt was a little taken aback to realize that Blaine could be replaced in his life but Mercedes and Brittany had left a big gaping hole that only they could fill. If Kurt had been truly in love with Blaine would not it be the other way around? What Tom had written in his letter flickered back into Kurt's mind. He realized that he did not have a love that burns like fire and moonlight with Blaine and Kurt really wanted that in his life but at this moment he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to give that kind of love back to someone else. Kurt took another sip of his coffee trying not to let himself think too hard on the subject because it hurt too much. Kurt tried to pull his mind back to class with Abby. He remembered she had gotten up and left directly after class like she had always done as he grabbed his bag to go meet Adam at the auditorium. Kurt chuckled remembering the song that they sang for him. Adam seemed to be so excited to introduce him to the Adam's Apples. Kurt had walk into the auditorium after Adam only to see Abby on the stage. She had given him a shocked expression when she realized that Kurt was there but she waved and smiled at him as the group began singing, "I Like Big Butts," by Sir Mixalot. Kurt could not stop himself from laughing out loud at the memory of the performance that the Adam’s Apples had given him. Kurt had enjoyed being there watching them perform and talking to them all after they were done. Kurt felt like he belonged with these people. He was sure that he could be good friends with most of these people and have a lot of fun with all of them. There were a couple he definitely wanted to get his hands on and teach them how to dress properly but he was positive he could be happy in the Adam's apples. Unfortunately he kept thinking about what Rachel said, so instead of saying, "yes I will be part of your show choir," Kurt had said "I will think about it.” Kurt was not sure if Rachel was right but he was lonely and everyone there was so friendly especially Adam, with his eyes, beautiful smile and the blonde hair that fell down into his face from underneath his beanie. Kurt had butterflies just from the thought of him. Kurt picked up his cup of coffee and drank the last bit that was left in his cup; he sat it down on the table. Kurt was afraid that Adam would be just like all the other guys that he liked. Unavailable emotionally and physically in one way or another. Kurt sighed. When it came to guys he felt like he was cursed to not ever be able to find anyone that would like him as much as he liked them.

 

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A couple days later Rachel called after him as he was getting ready to walk out the doors of NYADA to head to the loft so that he could finish his homework . Kurt had looked up in the direction that he had heard her voice to see Rachel hurrying to catch up with him.

"Hey Kurt hold on" she called out again as she finally caught up with Kurt "Do you mind if I walk a couple blocks with you. I'm supposed to meet Brody down on the street corner in 10 minutes and we haven't had any time to talk this week."

"Sure!" Kurt said a little taken aback. He guessed that her ignoring him was finally over so now she would be his friend just for a little bit before she headed into diva mode. Kurt was not sure what was worse, the ignoring phase or the diva mode but he was still too tired to contemplate the reasons behind any of Rachel's mood swings lately. Kurt decided just to put a smile on his face and walk down the street with her and act like they have been best friends for the last couple days even though they have not said more than a couple of word to each other.                                                                                                      

As Kurt and Rachel started to walk down the street with the gentle breeze around them, he took in a deep breath, it was still cold outside but he really was enjoying the January weather they had in New York.

"Okay so Brody said he was going to meet me at the library to go downtown. Do you want to come?" She asked while rummaging through her bag.

"Noo.. no thanks I don't want to be a haggy third wheel on your guys’ date." Kurt answered her.

"No you won't be" Rachel said over-the-top of him, “alright you know what I can't wait for? I can't wait for you to find the new man of your dreams and then me, you, him and Brody can all go on double dates together.. And it will be so much fun... I really feel like it's going to happen soon."

"Actually there is someone I have my eyes on." Kurt said as he smiled at her.

"Oh, my God. Who is it??? Raul Esparza?" Rachel exclaimed enjoy sending Kurt a please do tell smile.

"No I wish."

"Cause that would be great." Rachel said as she smirked at him.

"No, he goes to school with us, but I don't know, lately things have been happening and... I am just trying to figure out if he likes me." Kurt said in a small voice.

"What do you mean?" Rachel said as she gave him a puzzled expression.

"Well..." Kurt said trying to think back of all the interactions he had had in the last couple days with Adam. "He keeps running into me in the hallway at school between classes and he is the one that is making the effort to start the conversations with me as he walks by to where ever he is going to and do you want to know what the funny thing is?"

"Yes..!" Rachel said as she gave Kurt all of her attention.

"I have never seen him in the hall before I met him at lunch a couple days ago and now I see him everywhere. The worst thing about this is the way it makes me feel all fluttery inside. Just today he found me after dance class while I was practicing and he went out of his way to come into the room to give me a complement on my dancing." Kurt said as he tried to hide the slight blush that had crossed his cheeks.

"Oh, my God, he is totally crushing on you!  What is his name?" Rachel said with excitement in her voice.

"I-I don't want to jinx it, okay?  He's 22 sophisticated, handsome." Kurt said admiringly.

"Kurt!" Rachel squeaked with a big smile on her face.

"There's no way he wants to be with me..." Kurt said bashfully.

"Oh, God, Kurt, you are a catch, okay? and now that, you know, things with you and Blaine are good, and you're finally over the break up, I think it's really time for you to put yourself out there, you know? Hey, look, if this guy doesn't want to ask you out, then you ask him out, okay?" Rachel grabbed Kurt’s shoulder swinging him around so they were face to face, standing on the street corner. "I promise you, it'll be worth the risk. There's nothing like being in love in New York." She said with a giddy smile on her face. Kissing him on the cheek, she turned to cross the street.

"Love? Already?" Kurt responded with a concerned expression as he looked after her.

As Rachel looked back at him she said with arms widespread, "what can I say, things move fast here. It's not like high school."

Kurt called back to her, "Says the girl who almost got married before graduation."

"Seize the moment! Do it!" Rachel says pointing at Kurt sternly. "It'll be worth it."

Kurt stared after her with a face of complete unbelief as he watched her reach the other side of the street and give Brody a big hug. Maybe I'll try, Kurt thought to himself.

 

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Kurt unlocked the door and let himself into the loft carrying the package that he had picked up in the mail box in the lobby slot. He carried it gently in his hands. He was not sure why Brittany would send him a package but Kurt was interested and a little excited to see what was inside. Kurt went towards the kitchen and sat his book bag on the table. He looked at the label on the package. The address was familiar to him and the label said it was from Brittany and Lord Tubbington. Kurt knew to be cautious with letters and packages addressed from the both of them instead of just Brittany, which is why he found himself carefully opening the box over the table. He used a sharp knife to cut the tape that was keeping the box closed. Kurt was kinda  afraid that something might jump out at him from inside but when he cautiously opened it up, all he could see was a piece of paper folded in half setting on top of what looked like a full box of something covered in gift tissue paper. Kurt picked up the piece of paper and open it up to read what Britney had written him.

"Kurt please Skype me when you receive this box. It is important for me and Lord Tubbington to talk to you about what's in it before you open it anymore, hence the paper"

Kurt was puzzled at her message but grabbed his computer out of his bag anyway and set it up on the table so that he could Skype Brittany as she requested. Waiting a minute for the computer to set up and then for his call to go through to Brittany, he wondered what she had sent him, why the request and was Brittany even home. Before he could get any deeper into his thoughts, Brittany's beautiful voice and smile came across the screen. "Hey dolphin!" she said happily at him.

"Hey Brittbritt! I got your package." Kurt said as he picked the box up and held it out in front of the computer screen so she could see it.

"Good!" she said with a smile, then she seemed to remember something and her smile faltered for a moment before Brittany said "Oh I am sorry! But Lord Tubbington isn't here right now, is that okay?"

"Yes that will be fine. So where is he?" Kurt asked. He was curious to know why Brittany's cat was not there.

"Oh! He had to go and take care of some business. So he won't be here today to help me talk to you but he said that I could handle it." She leaned closer to the screen and whispered "I think he's a secret agent because what he had to do, he said was top-secret." Brittany had said in a quiet but very serious voice as she put her finger up towards her lips and hushed him like what she had just told him was very important and needed to stay between them. As Brittany pulled her finger away from her face she had replaced it with a big smile. Brittany sat up and clapped her hands together. She radiated excitement. She said "okay let's get started I am really excited to tell you what me and Lord Tubbington found out."

"Okay!" Kurt said not sure if he was ever going to be ready for some of Brittany's theories.

"We found out that for time travel to work that the conditions need to be exactly right and me and Lord Tubbington feel like at this point they are in alignment for you." Brittany said as she gestured down at the screen "you can now remove the tissue paper and look at what we got you. There are some things that you will need so that it will be perfect" she said giving him a hopeful look as he opened the box.

So Kurt look down at the box and removed the tissue paper to see an old-fashioned pen and some ink.

"So I found you some ink and a writing utensil that they used in the year 1913. We had the ink formulated to the exact consistency that they used back then." Brittany was using a voice that made her sound more like a history professor then a bubbly teenager.

Kurt looked at the pen and ink and set them gently down on the table reaching back into the box to pull out some sheets of paper and some old envelopes.

"I had to go to an antique shop to find the papers and envelopes but they will work" Brittany had said when Kurt had picked them up out of the box.

When Kurt had set the papers and envelopes carefully down by the ink and pen, he had reached back into the box only to jump in alarm when Brittany's voice had called out to him with concern.

"Be very careful with the stamp it's exactly what they used back then but it cost a lot of money to find an unused antique stamp you know but don't worry if we need more Lord Tubbington has connections."

Calming his nerves after the fright she had invoked in him, Kurt returned his attention to reaching his hand into the box and pulling out an old stamp encased in a plastic protective sheet. Underneath it was a map of New York that had been folded in such a way to show a location with a mark around it. Removing the map, he looked down and noticed that the box was now empty. He turned to Brittany and said "So how is this all going to help me?"

"According to Lord Tubbington and Sir Isaac Newton it's supposed to set the mood by using stuff that they used back then. It should be easier to break the time barrier between you and Tom and the address on the map is to an old post office that was built before 1910 so it should give you a good strong connection between your time and Tom's time as well. I would go mail the letter when there are not a lot of people at the post office. I'm not sure when that would be in New York. They always seem busy there." Brittany replied to his question.

He was a little taken aback with all the time and effort she put into this for him. "So do you really think this will work?" Kurt said not sure if he wanted to believe her or not.

"I don't know but wouldn't it be awesome if it did" Brittany said with excitement radiating from her whole body.

Later after they had ended their Skype conversation, Kurt found himself staring down at everything that Brittany had given him. Since the first conversation Kurt had been able to set Tom's letter aside but not completely. The words he had written still tumbled around in Kurt's mind. Maybe this was what he needed to get it out of his system. Throwing caution to the wind he decided he was just going to do it. At this point he was already beyond crazy and Brittany was right, who could it hurt to try, no one. So Kurt  took the ink, pen and paper that she had given him and wrote down the letter that he had written before in his notebook but he actually finished it and signed it, a friend.

When Kurt was finished he folded the letter gently and put it in the envelope that Brittany had given him. He placed the stamp on the envelope and sealed it. Then he put the return address of the loft that he lived in and sent it to the address of the house that he had inherited just in case Brittany was wrong and Tom did not get the letter. Either way he would receive the letter and no one would be the wiser. So tonight at midnight Kurt was going to go and call a taxi to take him to the post office and drop the letter off. He was not quite sure why he was doing it but he was tired of never taking chances and just wanted to do something spontaneous for once.

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                            


	7. Chapter 7

-1915-

Thomas quickly leaped up the stairs to his father’s house. He came to a stop standing in front of the door. He took a deep breath and slowly turned the knob, and quietly opened the door. He entered inside and tried to close it without making a sound. Tom was hoping that he would not draw the attention of anyone inside, especially his mother.

Tom let his eyes adjust to the dim lighting in the house. Then he surveyed his surroundings. Tom sighed in relief when he noticed that no one was there. He was really not in a good mood to talk to anyone right now. His day had been way too long and tedious to deal with his mother's questions. He glanced over at the table in the hall, which normally was where the mail was placed, if there had been any delivered that day. Seeing a small pile of envelopes sitting there he went over to see if there was anything for him. There were a couple addressed to Thomas Hamilton and one that was addressed to Tom. It was the correct address but it did not have his surname on it. Tom thought that was a little strange. But he was in a hurry to get to the safety of his room without anyone noticing that he was home yet. Sliding the envelopes into his suit coat pocket, he gently started climbing up the first flight of stairs. He wanted to hurry so he could get to the one place where he was safe and could hide from the world. As he turned the corner to head for the second flight of stairs, he had forgotten he was trying to be quiet. He turned the corner a little too quick as he stepped on the one board he knew to avoid. As the floor creaked underneath his weight, he heard his name being called out from behind him, in his mother’s soft voice. So he decided to take a chance and flee to his room hoping that she would not follow him there. "Thomas, hold on." She called out again. "I would like to speak with you for a moment." He froze on the spot because of the gentle pleading, that he had heard in her voice. He felt dread creeping down his spine. He knew what his mother wanted, she had been slowly dropping subtle hints all weekend.

"How was your day?" she asked politely, walking into the middle of the hall towards him.

"It was good mother." Tom replied with what he hoped was a kind smile pasted on his face.

"Did you see Abigail today?" His mother asked him, with an expression that said you better give me more than a yes or no answer. He was very familiar with it at this point in his life.

"Yes mother! We had lunch at the country club together." Tom replied. His mother gave him, a look that he knew said "and".

Tom decided the only way he was ever going to make it to his room, is if he just gave in and gave her the answers she was looking for. "We had a lovely time together, and yes! She is doing well. And she is kind and beautiful as always." He replied, hoping that this would be a good enough answer for his mother. But he knew at the same time it never would be.

"Have you talked about your future together yet?" She asked, with a hopeful look upon her face.                                

“A little" he replied, "but nothing is set in stone, at this point in our relationship." Tom saw the hopeful expression on his mother's face fade a little. Tom did not know what to do. As he saw the concern and worry cross his mother's countenance, there was nothing he could say to make the situation better. He knew she was anxiously waiting for the day he would come home and announce his engagement to Abigail.

Tom stepped forward and placed his hand softly on his mother's shoulder. "Mother these things take time." He answered her, as he put a sincere expression on his face. "This is a decision that will affect the rest of both my and Abigail's lives forever. It is important we do not rush our decision on this matter."

"I know!" His mother replied, with a hint of disappointment in her voice. She raised her hand and placed it on his hand that was resting on her shoulder, squeezing softly, she smiled at him and said, "I know, I just want you to be happy."

Tom's heart wanted to break as he stood there gazing down into his mother's beautiful stormy blue eyes. Her eyes were the one thing that he was grateful he had inherited from her, along with her kind disposition. In every other way he was his father's son. Tom squeezed his mother shoulder one more time; as he leaned down to give her a gentle kiss on her cheek.

"I know!" He replied as he pulled back away from her. "I love you so much" He said as he smiled kindly back at his mother. Pulling completely away from her, he turned to flee to his room. He was just seconds away from crying. He could not let his mother see the pain he was going through. He was sure it would break her heart and he didn't know if he could do that to her.

When Tom was finally behind his bedroom door and it was locked, he took in a couple deep breaths and wiped a tear away from his eye. Removing his jacket, and walking towards his bed that was in the corner of his room by the window, he carefully laid the jacket on the end of his bed. Then he took the last couple steps towards the window. Reaching out toward the glass, he found the familiar spot where there was a defect in the pane of glass that lightly bubbled out towards him. Tracing his fingers along the bubbled texture, Tom breathed in through his nose and exhaled through his mouth a couple of times. He was trying to calm his heart rate and gain control of his emotions that were too close to the surface these days. As Tom's body relaxed a little, he glanced outside and noticed the signs of spring that were starting to take place all around him. His eyes came to rest on a tiny limber tree that Tom, his little sister and brother planted last spring. The memory was a pleasant one, it was a reminder of the carefree times they had. He was sure he would never be able to get those back. At the time he was not sure that it would survive the winter but now it had small buds of green on its branches. As Tom place the palm of his hand flat on the pain of glass, he leaned forward closing his eyes and rested his forehead on the pain of glass that was above the one his hand was placed on. As he felt the cold seep into his warm skin, he breathed in and out one more time, feeling the tension in his shoulders slowly release. This was Tom's most favorite place in the whole world; he could stand here for hours. The one place he felt safe and whole, even if it was just an illusion.         

Tom sighed dropping his shoulders a little more. He really wished that life could be easy again, but he knew it never would be. He was an adult now, with adult decisions he had to make. Tom had been putting them off for as long as possible but he was afraid he no longer could. What scared him the most was that no matter what choice he made, someone he really cared about would be hurt in the end. Abigail was sweet and kind and one of his best friends. They could talk for hours about almost anything. If he had to marry a woman, he would hope it could be her. It would be a companionable relationship they both could be happy with but he would never be able to give her the one thing that she deserved more than anything, his heart and true love. Yes he would be able to love her like a sister but no more. Tom kept hoping that she would fall in love with someone else who could give her his heart and soul, but it never seem to happen.

On the other hand if he decided not to get married it would break his mother's heart. Not only that his father would be furious with him for not manning up and taking his place in society alongside him. Both of these decisions left him without true love for the rest of his life. Tom wished the world could be different. A place where everyone could follow their heart, no matter what; a place where he could court Abigail's brother instead of her. If anyone ever found out how he truly felt, he would end up hurting more than just one other person he would hurt all of them. He knew how his parents and their church and society felt about people that were homosexual, people like him. He was never going to allow this to destroy his family. Even if that meant he had to hide this part of him so deep that no one would ever be able to find it. He would live without love if that meant his family could be safe, even if it meant they lived in ignorance. Tom knew his mother wanted him to be happy. But no matter the choice he made with the options placed before him, true happiness would not be a part of his future.

Tom pulled away from the window, he had finally come to a decision. He just hoped that Abigail would be able to forgive him in the end. "Please don't let this destroy Abigail's and my friendship. I do not know if I would ever be able to forgive myself if she ended up hating me forever." He muttered under his voice to himself, as he ran his fingers along the window pane once more.

As Tom let his hand slowly fall down to his side, he braced himself to follow through on his decision. He needed to be strong, there was no going back. He needed to think of a beautiful, romantic way to ask Abigail for her hand in marriage. If he could not give her his heart he was going to be sure that he made it everything that Abigail had ever envisioned for her wedding, in hopes that it would make up for a small part of everything he was not able to give her.

Tom could no longer just stand there, he needed to do something before he lost the little bit of courage he had just found. Remembering the envelopes he had picked up off the table when he came home, Tom strode over and picked up his suit coat up off the bed. He reached inside the pocket and pulled out the small bundle of envelopes. Thumbing through them his eyes landed on the one that just had his first name and his address on it. Dropping his jacket on the bed carelessly, he strayed over to his desk. As Tom sat down and carefully opened the envelope pulling the paper out and laying it before him, Tom began to read.” Dear Tom, I just read the letter in the secret compartment in your room.” His heart started to sink with each new word he read. Dread was settling over his body, like someone had doused him with ice cold water. Tom was petrified and angry that someone knew his secret. He wanted to stand up and throw his chair across the room but if he did so his mother would hear the racket and come to see what was wrong. His mother would see him and he would never be able to convince her that everything was alright. Tom did not know how he looked; he just knew it would not be good with a war of emotions tearing through his body. Taking deep breaths, Tom tried to calm his mind and force himself to calm down. When he had gained control over himself, he carefully pulled himself up out of his chair and walked across the room to the fire place. Tom was trying to move normally so he would not draw the attention from the others who were in the house. Tom sat on the floor in front of the hearth, placing his hands on the rectangular stone that hid his secret place. Tom used the metal envelope opener that he had brought from his desk, sliding it between two of the stones he slowly pride up the rectangular stone. Tom used his fingers to help guide the stone out of the hole, revealing an empty box. Tom muffled a gasp that tried to escape his lips. It was gone, who had taken his letter? The stone mason that had built the fireplace and Tom were the only ones that knew of his secret spot, because Tom had personally asked the mason if he could build a secret compartment for him. Tom buried his face in his hands, what was he going to do now?  He should have never written how he truly felt down on paper, even if he thought he had a safe place to put it. Lifting himself up off the floor, Tom decided he was going to write this stranger a letter and demand to know who he was and what he wanted from Tom.

Sitting down at his desk Tom pulled out a piece of paper and grabbed a bottle of ink and a writing pen. When Tom was done writing his reply, he hastily folded the letter and put it in an envelope. Then Tom went over and put the letter into the box and put the rectangular stone back in its spot, making sure to remove all the signs that it had ever been disturbed. Now all Tom could do was just wait and see what would happen.

 

\------

 

Friday Kurt was having a really good day. He was now done with work and the sun was still up because Lizzie had sent him home early. Kurt was kind of excited to see if Brittany's plan had worked or not. He was a little skeptical but that was okay. He had been walking on cloud nine since earlier that day so it really did not matter if it worked or not. Kurt thought back on why he was so happy. After mailing Tom's letter he finally had enough courage to try something different so the next day at school he joined the Adam's Apples which was one of the best things that he could have done in his opinion, regardless of what Rachel had said about their reputation. He now had friends and he had finally found a place he felt like he belonged. And since Kurt was on a roll of trying new things he decided he would wait until after one of Adam's classes to talk to him. Kurt had realized that Adam had been going out of his way to see Kurt in the halls at least a couple times a day. Kurt thought when he had joined the Adam's Apples that this would stop, but instead it did not. It had continued on and it gave him a little bit of hope that Adam was doing this because he really liked him for him and not for what he could offer his show choir. In case Kurt was wrong he had a plan. He was going to walk down the hall that he knew that Adam would be in at a specific time. If he walked by and stopped in plain sight of Adam and if Adam came over to talk to him, Kurt was going to buck up the courage and ask him out on a coffee date. If Adam did not come and talk to him then he would know that he was wrong and Adam did not like him in that way. Earlier that day Kurt had decided to try his plan. He had walked into the hall that he knew Adam would be in. Kurt looked back over his shoulder to see him talking to someone by the side of the hall. Kurt continued to walk over by the stairs where he knew Adam could see him, and bent down to tie his shoe even though it did not need to be re-tied. When Adam saw him it would be very natural looking instead of staged, and then Kurt just had to wait to see what happened. Kurt got a flutter of emotions inside of his chest as he remembered what had happened next. As Kurt sunk deeper into the subway chair he had a couple more stops to go before he had to get off so he allowed himself to sink into his memory of what had happened.

"Oh, hey Kurt, I was just thinking about you." Adam had called out to him. Kurt remembered that his face had split with a great big grin of happiness as his whole body tingled from the idea that Adam had noticed and had been thinking of him. As he stood up and turned to face Adam, he had tried to calm his facial expression so that he would not give all the excitement that he had going through his body away.

"Thoughts on a Sondheim super mash-up, like, epic to the power of epic, we’ll all probably die while singing it. You in? " Adam asked. Kurt's heart had sunk for a moment at the thought that Adam was only talking to him because of the Adam's Apples. Adam was bursting with all the energy he was exuberating, Kurt wasn’t sure if he even took a breath while saying all of that. Kurt thought at that moment Adam was so gorgeously adorable and his smile was breath taking. Kurt always wanted him to smile like that at him and no one else. He just was not sure how he was going to do it but he was going to figure it out somehow.

"I am in." Kurt said, as he was warring with the emotions inside himself. Did Adam like him or did he not? Kurt found himself baffled again this was not as easy as he thought it would be. As Adam had turned away to walk down the stairs, Kurt took his chance. He did not know if he would ever have enough courage to take another chance again. "Hey Adam..." he had called out. "I was wondering... Would you ever want to get a drink or... or a coffee sometime?" Kurt said, with worry now thrumming through him that Adam would turn him down.         

"Yeah, that'd be great." Adam said with a chuckle that was now Kurt's new favorite sound in the world.

"Great!" Kurt said as his heart leap with joy inside his chest. Adam really did like him enough to be willing to go out with him.

"Here, let me give you my number. “Adam said as he took a step back up the stairs and held his hand out for Kurt's phone. Adam gave him a kind smile that made his stormy blue eyes twinkle with happiness.

The subway squealed as it slowly came to a stop as people stepped off and others came back on, the commotion jolted Kurt from his memories of earlier. He took a deep breath and sighed in happiness. He had one more stop to go before he got off the subway. Kurt looked up to see an old lady staring at him in curiosity. He realized that he had been smiling from ear to ear, through the whole time that he had been thinking back on his memories. Kurt blushed at her. He dropped his eyes to his lap and stared at his hands instead. He was so happy that he was smiling like a loon. Everyone on the subway car must think he was crazy right now. But Kurt did not care. Right now he was too wrapped up in stormy blue eyes that seemed to cut through all of his defenses and open the door way to his very soul. Even though it terrified a small part of him that Adam could do so. When the subway had slowed down to stop; Kurt got up and grabbed his bag and got off onto the platform at his stop. Kurt had a hop and a skip in his step and he took the stairs two at a time. When he stopped at the top of the stairs he took in a deep breath. He loved New York, it was beautiful. It would be the first of February tomorrow and Kurt was looking forward to experiencing his first spring in New York. Kurt had heard when the trees started blooming and the plants began to blossom all throughout New York City and throughout Central Park, that it was a breath taking sight to behold. And Kurt was excited to see it for the first time in his life. When Kurt had finished the block and a half walk to the house that he had inherited he was in a really good mood. He had pulled out the key and unlocked the door and let himself in. He checked the mail slot only to see that there was one letter and it was not the one he had mailed to Tom. Not really caring too much about it, he stuck it into his coat pocket for later and shut the door behind him as he quickly hurried up the stairs to the third-floor. Pulling out the key that had been on a ribbon around his neck, Kurt unlocked the door and entered into the room and walked swiftly over to the hearth of the fireplace. Kurt sat down in front of it on the floor and carefully tried to remove the rectangular stone from its resting spot. He set it to the side of the box that he knew would be hidden underneath and looked inside only to be shocked and completely taken aback to see another envelope that was slightly wrinkle sitting on top of the other treasures that were inside. Kurt was not sure how this had happened. Was he now in an alternate universe because there was no way that what Brittany said was true or was it? Kurt reached into the box with a shaky hand and removed the envelope from where it had been lying. He carefully pulled out the folded paper from inside of it. As Kurt unfolded the piece of paper and began to read, he was taken aback at the sharp bite of the words that Tom had written to him.                        

 

 

_Sir..._

_I received your astonishing letter today, and I am amazed by your audacity._

_Who are you? What do you want from me? And how could you know that there was something in my secret place to be stolen._

_I wonder.. as I place this second letter in the same place as the first, am I in the toils of some feverish dream? Or will you violate my privacy again!_

_In mystification_

_Tom Hamilton_

 

 

Kurt had to reread the letter three times before he could try to wrap his mind around it. Was this real and was this truly happening to him? He still could not understand what was actually going on here. Kurt had locked this room every time he had left and he knew he was the only one that had the key, wasn't he? Nothing had ever changed since he had been in here, except what he had done. So Kurt had just assumed that this room was safe from outside intrusions. His body and mind were starting to twitch with the desire and excitement to respond to see if this was real and he could get another letter from Tom. Kurt was starting to write a letter in his head so he looked around, but there was nothing to write except the notebook he kept in his bag. Then Kurt remembered that Brittany had given him what he needed to write a letter to Tom. Kurt had left the ink and the paper at the loft and he did not have any stamps to send the letter anyway. He sighed in frustration as his eyes fell upon the old bedframe that he had left sitting by the wall. Kurt remembered that he wanted to fix it so that he would have something to use when he got too tired to go home instead of sleeping on the floor. He just had not found the time to do it yet. As he pulled out his phone, Kurt thought that just maybe, 'he could kill two birds with one stone.' So he googled antique shops in New York and found out which one was the closest location to him. As Kurt checked the time to make sure he was able to get there before the store closed, he called a taxi and they were going to arrive in ten minutes. Kurt had just enough time to return the stone into its resting place and put away the letter safely in his bag. Then he took a picture of the bedframe with his phone before he locked the door behind him, as he went downstairs and outside to wait for the taxi.

When Kurt had finally arrived at the old antique shop, he went inside to find an older man that had worked there.

"Can I help you kind Sir." he said with a very kind voice.

"Yes! I am looking for some old stamps." Kurt answered him as the man gestured in the direction of where he keeps all the stamps.

"I have quite a few stamps and I have some connections that have more stamps, if you are looking for anything specific?" the man had said.

"Yes I am looking for some unused stamps from the year 1913." Kurt said as he thumbed through the book that had protective pages that were full of different kinds of old stamps. Some of them were quite fascinating but he was not here to start a stamp collection. Kurt just wanted a stamp so that he could send a letter to Tom.                             

"Oh..I think I have them in this book!"  The man said, as he picked up another book that had been sitting beside the one Kurt had been looking in. The man opened it up and turned it to a page near the middle of the book "mm... Yes right here!" The man said as he laid the book open and pointed to a stamp.

"Is that the only one you have?" Kurt asked

"Yes for 1913. I have one that was issued in 1914."

"They look the same" Kurt asked in confusion.

"I know but they were issued in different years and one is worth more money than the other one." The man said looking up at him.

“So how much are they?” Kurt asked.

"For this unused stamp it is $15 and for this one since it is not as rare it is only $9.25" the man said as he pointed at each one and said their price.

Kurt grimaced inside at the price as he said "I will take both of them."

"Good!" the man said as he carefully took both of the stamps out of the protective page and placed them in plastic sheets for him.

As Kurt waited he decided to ask the man about finding a mattress for the bedframe in his room. "I've got something I would like to fix up and use and I was wondering if you knew who could help me?" Kurt said as he began to pull his phone out to show the man the photograph taken earlier.

"That is a beautiful bedframe it looks like it was from the early 1900s" the man said with interest. "I would love to buy that from you if you would be willing to sell it" he said looking up at Kurt.

"Ooh... no! I just wanted to know how I could get a mattress that would fit it since it does not look like it is a regular size mattress." Kurt said with a little panic in his voice. There was some reason that Kurt seem to be attached to everything that he found in that room and did not want to let it go.

"No it's not a regular size. You are going to have to have it custom made." He said. "I have a phone number for a company that does it if you would like it."

"Yes I would like that phone number." Kurt replied.

The man walked over to the cash register. Kurt paid for his purchases and received the card from the man with the number. He slipped it into his wallet so that he would not lose it.

"Thank you for all your help," Kurt said with a smile and a wave.

"You’re welcome anytime." The man waved back as Kurt walked out the door to head home to the loft so that he could write a letter to Tom. Kurt was going to have to figure something out stamp wise because he did not know if he could afford finding more stamps if these were the cheapest ones he could find. Fifteen dollars for a stamp and it could only go up from there. Part of him felt like he would only need two stamps because this had to be a joke but a small part of him was hopeful it wasn't and he would need to find more. That was something he would worry about another day though but for right now he just wanted to see if Tom could receive a second letter from him. Could he actually talk to someone through time?


	8. Chapter 8

Tom leaned back against his favorite window in his bedroom trying to calm his nerves before he opened up the letter that he had just received from the mysterious man that had invaded his secret place. He had just come home from spending some time with Abigail. When out of force of habit he had looked over to the table where they set the incoming mail. He saw a small stack sitting there. He walked over and picked it up. Thumbing through the envelopes, Tom saw a letter with the familiar hand writing on it. His heart started falling through his chest like a stone sinking to the bottom of a pond, as the anxiety slammed into him at the site of the letter. This time it had been clearly addressed with his full name. He hurried as fast as he could to his room and shut the door, grateful that he had not run into anybody that had been at home. Taking in another deep breath, Tom turned around to place his hand and forehead on the glass window behind him allowing the coldness from the surface of the glass to seep into his skin. Tom was terrified to open this letter. He had hoped the last one was just an illusion or nightmare that he could wake up from. He had read the letter so many times that he had memorized every swirl and bump of the handwriting it had been written in. It was unlike any handwriting that he had ever seen. Tom knew he did not know the man who wrote him even though he had claimed to be a friend of Tom's on the last letter that he had sent to him. Tom was more worried about it being somebody who would use this knowledge as blackmail to tear his world apart. Taking in another deep breath Tom calmed himself down enough to pull himself away from the window, then he look down at the letter in his hand. It was now or never Tom said to himself, as he turned the letter over and opened the sealed envelope and pulled out the letter it contained inside. Letting his eyes flutter shut for a moment, he took one more deep breath and let it out. He opened his eyes and began to read.                                        

 

 

_Dear Tom,_

_I am sure you will find this as impossible to believe as I do._

_My name is Kurt Hummel._

_I live in New York City but.. not the New York City you know. A New York City clear into the future. I inherited your house at the beginning of this new year, 2014. I had been given a key to a room that was locked when I first found it and while I was cleaning the dust and cobwebs from the room, since it had been unused for a while, I stumbled upon your secret place. I found your letter there, safely hidden away for many years. I felt very compelled to reply but I did not understand why since you were no longer here for me to help. No matter what I did I could not forget your letter and then I had a friend who told me the best way to get it off my mind, is to write you and mail it to you so I could let it go, so I did. You could imagine my overwhelming shock when I found your Second letter there._

_I try to imagine how all of this could have happened. The only explanation I can come up with is... that for some reason the connection between us is so strong that we are able to talk to each other across the chasm of time. If I have not utterly terrified you, please write back again soon._

_Your friend,_

_Kurt Hummel_

 

 

Tom placed his hand on his chest where his heart was racing so fast inside of him it hurt. There was no malice in this letter from Kurt whoever he was. But how could this be? If Tom could put away his logic he could imagine that something like this maybe could happen. He had heard of theories from some of the philosophers about time warp, soul connections through time, time travel and other theories that they claimed could be true; but there were a lot of other philosophers that said they were crazy. Tom in the past had always rolled his eyes and scoffed at them. If Kurt was really from the future, like he claimed he was, then their theories must be right. What did this mean for him and Kurt and why did they have a connection through time? He understood what Kurt said in his letter. He at this point felt drawn to write again and ask more questions about the future. How do things ever change for people like him? Kurt must be okay with the idea of him being the way he is if he was able to write a letter to him knowing this fact already. Tom wanted to know what kind of person that Kurt was. All Tom knew about him was that he had been concerned for Tom and wanted to help him. Not only that, he had asked Tom to write him again soon.

Tom stumbled over to his desk and leaned against it as he looked down at the letter to read it again. He was almost finished reading it for the second time when he heard the light knock at his door. His door opened without any notice. "Tom!" His sister's beautiful voice said, as Tom looked up from the letter. Standing before him was his sister Marianne. Tom quickly pushed the letter behind him and out of his sister's line of sight.  She came to a stop and looked at him curiously, and then she caught the expression that flickered across his face.

"Good heavens Tom what's the matter?" Marianne asked with concern clearly and her voice, as she hurried closer to him.

"Nothing! Um.. you just startled me. Um..I.. was just in deep thought." Tom said with a shaky voice.         

"Because of something in the letter?" Marianne said softly.

"What letter?" Tom said quickly.         

"The letter you're trying to hide from me." Marianne said with a little chuckle and her voice and a knowing look.

"Oh that letter!" Tom said, he was not ready to tell her about Kurt and his letters. He was not sure if she would even understand. As Tom remembered the letter he had received yesterday, he sighed deeply. "It is just... a rejection letter from another publisher." He said instead.

"Oh! Tom I'm sorry" she said, as she reached out to touch Tom's arm, "Your stories and plays are amazing!"

"I know but I have never been able to find anyone else that is willing to publish them for me." Tom replied with disappointment sweeping over him.

"I am positive that one day someone will come across them, and love them the way we do." She said trying to give him some hope for the future.

"I know! But.. right now.. all I keep being told is that I crossed too many social boundaries in order to be published right now and if I just tone it down they would be happy to publish them." he said as he sat down in his desk chair. Tom wanted to push social boundaries. He wanted the world to change for the better, he wanted it to be a safer place where everyone could be themselves and not have to hide. He was not sure if he was willing to give his family and everything he had up at the moment but he could use his plays and stories to speak out against the unacceptable behaviors against others in the world right now. Tom thought about Kurt. Did he have to hide? Had things really changed in the future? Tom wanted to know. He also wanted to know if his sister would still love him if she knew his secret. Tom was shaken from the sadness that had surrounded him, as a soft hand was placed on his arm.

"Tom it will be okay." Marianne said to him. As Tom looked up he saw her smiling face looking back down at him.

"I know." Tom said as he smiled back at her. He pulled himself together and changed the subject trying to lighten up the gloomy mood around them. "So what did you need Marianne?"

"Do not call me that. I want to be called Mary. It is so much more grown-up." She said a little exasperated at him

Tom looked at her with a curious expression on his face "Your only 12." he said.

She looked at him shocked and taken back. "Do not tease me Tom I am almost 16 years old." she said with a smirk.

"So grown up." Tom said as he placed a hand on his heart and gave her a pained look. "Before you know it you will be off and married."

"Stop it Tom!" Mary said as she blushed from ear to ear. "Mother wanted me to let you know that it was time for dinner."

"Okay Mary! Let mother know that I will be down in a couple minutes." He said as he smiled up at her. She smiled back and then turned and walked away from him. She closed the door behind her leaving Tom surrounded by silence. Tom pulled out Kurt's letter from where he had tried to hide it from his sister. Tom smoothed out the creases he had put into the paper and folded it up correctly. He slid the letter back into the envelope. Tom walked over to the chest he had at the foot of his bed where he kept his important papers. He opened the chest up and took out one of his writing journals. Tom opened the book up to a familiar worn-out page where he had written a poem about love, peace and hope. That was his favorite one to read over and over again. Tom thought that he would like to send this poem to Kurt maybe he would enjoy it as much as he had. Tom slid the letter that Kurt sent him between the pages next to the first letter that he had received from Kurt. He put the book back into the chest where it would be safe. Tom closed the chest and pushed himself up to his feet so he could head downstairs. When he was done with dinner he was going to reply to Kurt's letter and hopefully he would receive another reply back soon.

 

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Less than a week later Kurt had received another letter from Tom. He had been overwhelmed with excitement to open Tom's letter and read what he had to say. Earlier that day Kurt had a little time before school so he swung by his house to check the secret compartment in their room to find a letter from Tom. Kurt had read the letter so many times on the subway, that he had it memorized before he even arrived at NYADA. Kurt had rewritten a response letter so many times over in his head, during school and work that Kurt had lost count of them. He had been wearing a hazy, dreamy expression and everyone that had come in contact with him throughout the day that he knew, had been sending him concerned looks. Even Adam had been worried about him. The thought that Adam really cared enough about him to be worried, sent thrills of happiness through his body. Kurt just did not know how to tell Adam about Tom, his new pen pal or even if he would believe him. So Kurt had just smiled back at Adam and told him that everything was okay, because it actually was for the first time in a while.

By the time Kurt had arrived home and was finally able to put what he wanted to say to Tom down on paper, Kurt was emotionally and mentally exhausted. He did not have the energy to go and put the envelope in the post office drop box so he would just have to do it later. Kurt threw himself down on his bed in exhaustion. He had hoped he had answered all Tom's questions that he had and was hoping to learn more about Tom and the time he lived in. It was nice to have a pen pal, someone who he was not afraid of telling his deepest secrets. Kurt told him about Blaine and all of his fears and the heartbreak he had been going through. He had also told Tom a little about the bullying he had gone through at school but not much. He tried to give Tom hope that in the future there were places in the world where two people that loved each other, of the same sex, could live together and walk down the street holding hands in broad daylight and be safe. Then he let Tom know that it may be a while before he wrote him back since he would need to find some more stamps in order to send him anymore letters.

Kurt rolled over on to his stomach and buried his face into his soft comforter on his bed. Kurt groaned to himself. He still had tons of homework to do today. At least things had been getting better for him, he thought to himself. The Adam's Apples were a lot of fun to be in. Kurt had made some really good friends in the last week and a half, and Abby and he seemed to be two peas in a pod. On top of that he had gone on a coffee date with Adam to his favorite café and they sat and talked for hours and learned more about each other. The more Kurt learned about Adam the more he liked the man he was getting to know, and the nice thing was that Kurt no longer felt completely alone.

Everything was still not perfect. He had not told Rachel about Adam or Tom yet and it bothered him that he had not done so. Kurt had really missed having late night girl chats with Rachel. Kurt had tried to talk to her but it was getting really difficult lately. Kurt had tried to talk to her about the things going on in his life but Rachel would immediately change the subject to talk about Brody, herself, her talents and how amazing she was. Kurt found himself listening to Rachel instead of having a conversation with her. Rachel was completely being a diva. It was worse every day and Kurt was starting to get a little bit of his spirit back. So between the both of them it was like a spark in a room full of dynamite. It was just a matter of time, before the whole thing blew up around them. Kurt was not quite sure who would be left standing, him or Rachel but something had to give. The more Kurt started to shake off the depression he had fallen into, the more he was getting tired of Rachel not pulling her weight around their place and acting like she was the queen of everything. Kurt remembered a time in high school, during his sophomore year, that even though he had been scared to be himself, he would not have been afraid to knock her down a peg or two because it would have been good for Rachel to realize that she did not own the world. Kurt felt like Rachel had turned her back on everything they had believed in, in high school such as being strong, standing up to the bullies for the underdogs and accomplishing their dreams. Instead she had actually become one of the biggest bullies at NYADA. Rachel had started parading around the school demanding for roles and performing spots that she should have been earning instead of taking them away from people that Kurt felt had earned them. There were quite a few students and even some teachers that thought this behavior was appropriate and prepared them for the competitive world of Broadway. But there was a small group of students and teachers including Kurt that were getting tired of the way she was acting. Kurt knew from experience if someone did not step up and help Rachel refocus her out of control determination before it was too late she would lose focus of her dreams and hurt herself and everyone around her without even knowing what she was doing.

Now because of Adam and Tom's friendships in his life, Kurt was starting to be the confident man he had been before his world had slowly fallen to pieces underneath his feet. He was even starting to feel stronger than he had been before they both came into his life. Maybe now he would have the courage to stand up and be the one to take Rachel down a notch and back to reality if it was not too late to help her.

 

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Tom allowed his body to collapse into the desk chair in his room as he groaned in frustration. He had just gotten back from having a conversation with Abigail and had run into his father in the hallway as he was trying to retreat to his room. Tom laid his arms on the desk and dropped his forehead onto his arms as he sighed in frustration. "Why now!" He mumbled out loud to himself. Yesterday had been a really good day and today the world was falling down around him. "Yesterday..." Tom said longingly, as he took in a deep breath to relax his shoulders a little bit further putting more of his weight on the desk. His tears slowly seeped into his shirt sleeve. Letting himself fall into his memories, he thought about the letter that he had received from Kurt yesterday. It had been filled full of the answers he had been longing to know about. It was nice to know that in the future things could change for the better even if it was not perfect yet. It still gave Tom a glimmer of hope that he thought he had lost forever. So after he had read Kurt's letter so many times that he had memorized it, he had made his decision.  He went and met with Abigail for lunch. Tom remembered they were having an enjoyable lunch together, he had told Abigail that he could not marry her in good conscience. She had been upset at him but he pleaded with her that he loved her as a sister and no more. That they were friends and he hoped he could keep the friendship they had for as long as they both lived, if she would allow it. He also let her know that she deserved a man that would give her every ounce of his heart and soul and that was something he could not do and he respected her too much to bind her into a marriage without that included. She had seemed upset but understanding at the same time. Which had been more than Tom was hoping for. When they were done with lunch, she had stood up to leave and he had done the same so he could walk her home. Abigail had politely said that she was going to find her own way home because she needed some space and had turned and walked away leaving him standing at the table all by himself.

Tom had found himself walking in the park for the next five hours thinking back on Kurt's letter and on the decision he had made. Tom had many doubts that crossed his mind. He was afraid of what would happen next but he still felt strongly that he had made the correct decision for both him and Abigail even if she did not feel the same right now. Tom finally could no longer postpone going home and letting his parents know of the choice he had made. He had been hoping that he would be able to pull his parents aside together and talk to them but instead he ran head-on into his father. The minute Tom's father realized he was there, he had demanded to know what was going on between him and Abigail. He also wanted to know if Tom had made a decision if he was going to take his spot in the family business or not. So Tom had blurted out that he and Abigail were not going to get married because he did not love her that way. Tom growled to himself as he remembered what his father had said next. "It does not matter if you love her or not! It only matters that you can get along and you have a good public standing together." Those words kept ringing in his mind over and over only to make him angry all over again. Tom had been angry at the realization that his father did not care about their happiness. All he had cared about was her money and her good name. So Tom had verbally lashed out towards his father in anger even though it had made things worse. Their angry words had echoed through the house drawing the attention of everyone there including his mother. He was so disappointed in himself at that moment more for the image of his mother’s face flickering across his mind. Her brokenhearted expression was tearing him apart. Tom had gotten up out of his chair quickly and knocked it over in his haste. He did not care if anyone heard him making commotion in his room right now; they knew that he needed space at this time.                                                      

Tom knew that his mother would come in later and talk to him but for right now she would give him time to calm down. Tom walked over to his window and laid his hand on his favorite spot, running his fingers over the ripples and bumps on the glass. He took in a deep breath and let it out trying to encourage his muscles to relax and his mind to calm down. Tom thought about the predicament he had found himself in, and now he had no choice but to go to work Monday morning and join his father's company. According to his father, he needed to stop spending all of his time on frivolous writings and take responsibility as a proper man in society. His father was going to let the thing with Abigail go for a little while but he knew that his father would encourage him to take her back or to date others in the hopes that Tom would find someone he could be content with but if his father only knew the truth. Tom took in another deep breath and held it for a minute then let it go slowly. Images from his nightmares flickered across his mind of his father hitting him, disowning him and casting him out never to see his family again. His mother standing there crying but having no say in what happened to him and his sister crumpled at her brothers feet in tears. The images broke Tom's heart. He knew this was what would happen if he told his father about his secret. He was not afraid of being alone and by himself in the world. He could learn a lower class trade and be content in a hard day’s work. No, what terrified Tom was the devastation that he would leave behind in the hearts of his mother and sister. Tom knew at that moment he would do what it took to hold his life together without getting married and ruining someone else's chance at happiness. Receiving Kurt's letters had at least given him some hope for that even if he ended up lonely for the rest of his life. He could be single and hold things together at least for his mother and sisters sake, at least until his father was no more or he was free to make his own decisions without hurting them. As Tom took in another deep breath he found himself more relaxed but he needed to talk to someone and the only person he could talk to was Kurt. He walked over to his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper and began to write.

Halfway through the letter Tom sat the pen down as he realized that he was pouring his heart and soul out to a man that had not even been born yet. Tom sighed with frustration. He seemed to be caught in a weird reality. Tom was scared because he had never been drawn to someone so strongly before in his life. Tom thought to himself that it was really odd to feel so strongly connected to someone in a short amount of time and so quickly especially when they hadn't even met. Yes, they had written a few letters but that was all. Not only that, he felt closer to Kurt than he had ever felt to Abigail, which was really strange to him because Kurt was not even alive at this time. Tom felt like he needed to believe that no matter when Kurt lived, he really cared about Tom. So he picked up his pen and began to finish the letter to Kurt and told him everything that he needed to tell someone but could not.

 

 

\------

 

Kurt had completed all of his school work and he did not have to work today. So he had decided to sort through his laundry, trying to get everything ready to go to the dry-cleaners. He was going to drop them off there on his way to his house to check on if he had received another letter from Tom yet. As Kurt sorted through his clothes, he noticed that some of them had been sorely neglected due to his lack of desire. He promised himself that he would try harder and give his clothing the tender loving care that they deserved. Kurt did not realize how far he had allowed some of the things in his life to go downhill since his break up with Blaine. Another thing that Kurt realized was that he had sorely neglected and ignored his diet. He had allowed himself to skip too many meals, which resulted in him losing too much weight. He knew it was not healthy for him to do so. Kurt sighed in frustration about the stupidity he had allowed his life to fall into. A tailspin that nearly destroyed his dreams. He felt like he had a long ways to go back to being where he wanted to but thanks to Adam and Tom, he felt confident he would be himself once more. That thought alone had given him so much hope for the future than he had allowed himself to have in the last six months. Picking up one of his favorite Alexander McQueen coats and checking all of the pockets to prepare it for the dry cleaners, he noticed that in one of the pockets there was an envelope that he had received in the mailbox at his new house. When Kurt look down at the envelope, he had remembered taking it out of the mailbox and putting it into his coat pocket and then soon forgetting about it over the excitement and shock of receiving another letter from Tom. Now as Kurt looked at the envelope, his curiosity had been peaked to know what it was. He opened up the envelope to see what was inside and Kurt had been taken back to realize that it was another check from Madeline's lawyer for 5,000 dollars. Kurt had not yet cashed the first check he had received in January. Now he had received another one in February. He was not sure what to think about the whole situation. Kurt had sent the documentation to his dad to look over and have a lawyer look over as well. Kurt had gotten really busy between school and work and had not gotten back with his dad so he reached over and picked his phone up to make a phone call to see what he thought about Madeline Kidman's will.

"Hey dad" Kurt said when he heard his dad's voice come across the line.

"Hey kiddo! How have you been in New York?" His dad said with a happy tone in his voice.    

"I've been doing really good Dad. I was just wondering if you had time to look over Madeline Kidman's will yet?" Kurt asked.

"Yeah I did! I had Steve our lawyer look over it as well." Burt answered.

"So... did he find anything wrong with the will?" Kurt asked a little afraid that there would be something wrong, since he could not believe that he had inherited a house with no strings attached and extra money on the side.

"No! It was all in order and Steve said it looked okay. There was nothing wrong with the paper work. Hey kiddo why do you sound so concerned? Did anything happen and are you okay?"  Burt said, as he was a little worried about how his son's voice had sounded.

"Oh... no everything is fine. I just received another check from Madeline's lawyer for the same amount as I had received last month. It is just a little strange is all. I am not sure what to do with it anyway." Kurt said a little puzzled.

"Well if you're planning to keep the place. I would make sure to set aside enough money for the taxes. The Will says you need to live there six months out of this year and you can save up your rent money to help with the taxes. They normally come due at the first of the year. I know the lawyer said it was taken care of this year but next year if you stay you will need the money to pay them. It's always good to plan a head, you know." Burt said as he was hoping he was able to help his son figure some things out.

"That's a good idea!" Kurt said "I really think I want to keep the place. I am slowly starting to get attached to it." He said happily.

"I figured you would kiddo! " Burt said as he chuckled at his son's enthusiasm.

 

\------

 

Kurt sat down on the hearth in front of the fireplace and carefully lifted the stone out of its resting place. His body was drumming with excitement and anticipation of getting another letter from Tom. He had not been able to find any more stamps so he was not sure how he would send Tom another letter if he received one. Part of Kurt felt like this was just a dream and another part of him hoped that it was true. Kurt looked inside the box underneath the stone and his spirits soared with excitement to see an envelope setting there. Setting the stone down beside the box, he reached inside and picked up the envelope and quickly opened it up, only to be taken back with what he saw inside the envelope. There had to be at least ten stamps inside the envelope. Kurt's heart leaped with excitement at the knowledge that he could now write Tom quite a bit more letters without costing him a small fortune.                   

When Kurt was done reading Tom's letter, he carefully folded it up and slipped the letter back in the envelope. He sighed in happiness at the knowledge that Tom had made the decision not to marry Abigail. Kurt had been saddened to know the Tom now had to work for his father's company but he knew that Tom would be able to work things out and hopefully be able to find someone who would publish his writings.

Kurt ran his fingers across the papers that he knew Tom had touched earlier. It had given him a small glimmer of hope that maybe he would be able to find love. That he once more would be whole enough to be able to return that love back to someone else he truly cared about. Kurt's mind wandered to an image of Adam's beautiful smile for just a moment. Kurt felt a small fluttering feeling inside his chest at the thought that maybe that special person could be Adam. Adam was kind and gentle and truly cared about how Kurt felt. Not only that, Adam was helping him to not talk bad about himself and compare himself to Blaine all the time. Adam had been doing this in such a gentle way that he was slowly healing his broken self-esteem. It was nice to know that someone really cared about him.

Kurt slipped the stone back into its place and made sure he had not lost any of the postage stamps that Tom had given him. Then he got up to leave, brushing off his pants. He was excited to write Tom a letter. As Kurt looked around the room he longed to be able to stay here and write instead of having to go clear across town to reply back. He had looked into ordering a mattress for the bed but he did not have the money for it at the time. Now that he was actually going to cash the checks that Madeline had given him, he would be able to order one and just maybe he would be able to find an antique desk that he could sit and write his letters back to Tom on. The thought of making himself at home in this room felt right as he shut the door and locked it behind him. Kurt started to head down the stairs.

Kurt walked down the stairs in complete and utter contentment. He had never felt so at peace before in his life, with the letter from Tom safely tucked away in his coat pocket and happy memories of Adam running through his mind. Kurt softly started humming a song to himself when he had a strange feeling come over him that made him stop dead in his tracks. The only way Kurt could explain what happened next was like two photographs being overexposed onto each other, blending together but still both hazy illusions of themselves. Kurt found himself slightly in the then and now. He could see a man standing before him on the stairs but he was not able to pull his features out of the haziness around the man but he knew in that split-second it was Tom. Kurt's heart leapt inside him with joy as he reached out hesitantly and placed his hand on Tom shoulder. Kurt thought it was a lot like seeing a ghost, although his hand did not go through Tom, it sat firmly on it like Tom was actually standing before him even though his features were blurry to Kurt's eyes. Then Tom took his arm and raised it and placed his hand carefully on top of Kurt's hand. Kurt was taken back that he could feel the warmth of Tom's hand there. The energy thrummed around them and joy filled the air for a moment and then Tom was gone leaving Kurt standing there on the stairs alone unsure what just happened.

Almost 100 years earlier Tom found himself thinking of Kurt as well feeling content with the new hope he now had when all of a sudden he felt the same thing on the stairs that Kurt had felt. He then had heard his sister calling out his name and the moment and connection had been broken leaving Tom wishing that he could have had a little more time to revel in the feeling of being with Kurt. Later that night, Tom was alone in his room as the memory came back to him and the emotions he had felt cascaded over his body leaving Tom reeling with the idea that he had touched Kurt and felt his warm hand on his shoulder. It had left Tom simply overwhelmed and full of hope and happiness. Tom walked over to his desk and sat down in his chair, pulling out his pen, paper and ink. Tom began to write a letter telling Kurt of the moment and the happiness and the hope for the future he had felt in that moment of time.


	9. Chapter 9

Adam had been in New York City and at NYADA for almost 4 years now. He had never met anyone quite like Kurt Hummel before in his entire life. Adam could remember the first day he saw Kurt like it was yesterday, even though he did not know his name at the time. Adam had been standing in the lobby waiting for his friends to arrive to the winter showcase when he heard a voice filling the air with beautiful laughter. Adam could remember looking around the lobby seeking out the person that had created the amazing sound. When Adam found him across the crowded room, Adam chuckled at himself now at how cliché it all sounded as he replayed it in his mind. He also could remember the feeling of how his breath caught in his throat at how beautiful and angelic Kurt had looked that night. He felt like he had fallen under a spell until one of his friends snapped him out of it by getting his attention only to look up and not find Kurt standing there anymore. Adam felt a great sense of loss when he realized that Kurt was gone. Adam sighed at the pain that the memory brought back to his heart. He walked over to the closet and took out a shirt and examined it to make sure it looked nice. Hopefully it was nice enough but not too nice. He did not want to look like he was overdoing it. As Adam pulled the shirt over his head his mind wandered back to the memory of later that night and how his eyes had kept wandering over to where Kurt had been sitting. He had a hard time focusing on the performances because he could not stop himself from gazing over at Kurt and marveling at Kurt's elegant features. Adam walked over to the mirror and looked at his reflection. His outfit was good; he was just missing one thing so he went and picked up one of his beanies. He slipped it on his head. "Perfect!" he said as he turned and walked out the door.

Adam was heading to a coffee shop that was between both his and Kurt's place where they had agreed to meet today. While he walked down the street, he thought back at the performance Kurt had given when Madame Thibodeau had asked him to audition in front of everyone. Just that in and of itself had taken Adam back a little because Madame Thibodeau normally did not ask someone to perform on the spot like that without giving them an opportunity to rehearse beforehand. He remembered the expression Kurt had of utter shock that glimmered across his face for just a couple seconds. Adam could tell that Kurt had been really nervous that night when he had introduced himself as Kurt Hummel. Adam had rolled Kurt's name over his tongue many times since then and it was beautiful to him, as beautiful as the song that Kurt had sung for his audition. Yes, Kurt had room to improve but Adam could see the untapped potential that Kurt had within himself that was just waiting to be molded and let out for the world to see and he felt that NYADA was the best place for Kurt to be. The teachers would be able to help him find himself and be able to let his amazing talent free instead of holding it back.

Adam walked into the coffee shop and looked around for Kurt. Realizing Kurt had not arrived yet he went over to a comfortable looking booth and sat down to wait for him. When the waitress stopped at his table and asked him what he would be having he just ordered a cup of tea. He did not want to order the meal without Kurt being there. 

As Adam sat there waiting for Kurt to arrive, he noticed that he had started humming "Being a Live." So Adam chuckled at himself. If Abby was here she would point out how far Adam had fallen for Kurt and then she would take every opportunity to tease him about it. When Adam was done rolling his eyes at himself, he thought back on Kurt's song choice. Anyone that has ever looked into auditioning for Madam Thibodeau for NYADA, knew that song was not one of her favorite songs to hear and often times she would stop you before you got an eighth of the way through the song. Which was why it had been so surprising to Adam that she had not interrupted him at all and had allowed Kurt to sing the whole song. There had been just something about the way that Kurt poured his whole heart and soul into the song. It had been almost like he was wishing and longing for somebody to teach him and to guide him. It was like Kurt had been lost and finally at a point that he was ready and open enough to learn, if there was someone willing to help him. At that moment in time Kurt was so beautiful and breathtaking, as he stood there singing, sharing all his emotions with everyone around him, open and willing for change. That had been the moment that Adam had felt like he had found the man that he could give his heart and soul to.

Since that night Adam had tried to find out more about Kurt but it had not been until the beginning of the winter semester when Kurt had shown up on campus that he was able to learn about him. Abby had teased him relentlessly about following Kurt around like a whipped puppy dog and not allowing Kurt to see him. Adam had just told her that he wanted to get to know if Kurt was the kind of person that would want to join the Adam's Apples before he approached him. But Adam knew that the real reason he had not approached Kurt was just that he had not been able to find the courage to go out and introduce himself yet. When he had seen Kurt standing in front of the poster boards looking for a club to join Adam could no longer hold back the desire to talk to him and so Adam just went up to approach Kurt. After that moment Adam did not see any reason why he should not let Kurt see him around the school. If he had gone out of his way to see Kurt more at school then he normally would, no one needed to know about it. When Adam had given Kurt a compliment in the dance room Adam had a feeling that there was something wrong with the way that Kurt saw himself and Adam tried to make Kurt realize in that moment that he was perfect just the way he was.

The more he had gotten to know Kurt the more Adam had realized that he had a self-esteem issue. It frustrated Adam. He just wanted to go out and find Kurt's ex-boyfriend that Kurt was constantly comparing himself to and strangle him for whatever he had said to Kurt to make him feel like he was not as good at most everything that his ex-boyfriend had been. Adam had been trying to help Kurt see himself in a better light and he felt like they were slowly making progress, but it was going to take them a long time to repair the damage that had been done to Kurt's self-esteem in the past.

Adam sighed in frustration as he took another sip of tea. In that moment he saw Kurt walking through the doors of the coffee shop. The second that Kurt had found where Adam had been sitting, Kurt's face had beamed with a beautiful smile that stole Adam's breath from him and set butterflies loose inside of his chest. Adam watched as Kurt walked over and sat daintily in the booth across from him. Kurt's nose wrinkled up cutely when he noticed the tea that Adam had been drinking.

"It's really not that bad," Adam said as he chuckled at the expression on Kurt's face.

"I'm not sure about that!" Kurt replied as he sat his messenger bag down on the bench beside him and rested his arms on the table before him, smirking over at Adam.

"So... would you like to order?" Adam said hesitantly, as he glanced over at Kurt and then back down to the menus that sat next to his arm on the table.

"Yes! I would love to, I am famished."

"Alright, then!" Adam replied, as he picked up two menus and handed one to Kurt.

"Thank you!" Kurt said, as he took the menu from him and started thumbing through it. "So have you eaten here before and do you know what is good?"

"Yes I have, and their homemade fries are excellent." Adam said as he smiled over at Kurt. 

When they had both placed their orders and were waiting for their food, Kurt just burst out "I think I just did something really crazy." It was like a dam had broken inside of Kurt and he no longer could hold it back.

Adam stared at Kurt with a curious expression on his face. "So...what did you do?" He asked Kurt with trepidation.

"I challenged Rachel to midnight madness!" Kurt had said as he tipped his head and sent a little panicked look towards him, almost like he had been asking Adam a question about how bad of a mistake he had just made.

The only word that Adam could find to say was "Why?" 

"I don't know! She's just been walking around the house being a complete diva, demanding that I do everything for her so she does not hurt her precious voice and thinking that she's better than everyone around her and.. I.. just could not.. take it anymore." Kurt said in a way that made it sound like the wind had just been slowly taken out of his sails, as he leaned back into the bench he had been sitting in, with a defeated expression across his face. 

"So... do you think you can defeat Rachel?" Adam asked Kurt. In his opinion he already knew that Kurt could, but it came down to how Kurt felt about if he would be able to pull it off or not.

"Yeah!.. maybe? In high school we had a diva off but I lost because I purposely blew a note. I thought my voice was always better than hers and now my voice is getting better due to the voice teacher at NYADA."

"Then why do you sound so unsure?" Adam had said, as he pondered what Kurt actually had going on underneath the surface of his emotions and what was on Kurt's mind.

"I was positive that I could beat her, until I went to NYADA today and realized that it comes down to what the other students think. I have never been big on popularity and if it really came down to what other people think about me and her. Well... in the past they have always picked Rachel." Kurt said sounding a little defeated to Adam's ears 

"You know, you're no longer in a little pond. You're now at NYADA. Regardless of the cliques that we have, it comes down to one thing, how well you can perform. Not the people you know," Adam said trying to cheer Kurt up. 

"I hope that's the case." Kurt said, as he hoped that Adam had told him the truth.

There was a small break in the conversation, as they gazed across the table at each other. Both of them had gotten lost in the moment. The moment was disturbed when the waitress came over and placed their meals before them. They began to eat and talk about what to expect from midnight madness again. Adam was enjoying the conversation that he was having with Kurt and getting to know him more when there was another break in the conversation. Adam looked up to see Kurt setting his utensils down by his plate and looking pensive, like he wanted to ask Adam a question but he was not sure what the answer would be.

"Hey Adam?" Kurt asked a little hesitantly.

"Yes?"

"I was wondering if the day after midnight madness, if you wanted to come see my new place?" Kurt said as he looked a little worried that Adam would say no. 

"Your new place, are you moving?" Adam replied a little baffled and concerned. He thought that Kurt was doing just fine in the loft living with Rachel, he knew they had some problems but he did not think it was bad enough that Kurt would want to move away from one of his only friends in New York. 

"Yeah, kinda, I inherited a house over by Central Park in January and I don't really have to move in for at least four more months. So it does not have a lot of furniture right now but if you like to, I would love for you to see it with me." Kurt said, as he sat there fidgeting with his fingers on top the table in a nervous habit. 

"I would be delighted to." Adam said as he reached his hand over and placed it on Kurt’s hands to help calm his nerves. Adam gave Kurt a caring smile. Adam saw a blush slowly creep across Kurt's face and Kurt ducked his head bashfully. The butterflies that had been at rest in Adam's chest took flight.

"Umm... Enough about me already. So.. how has your day been so far?" Kurt said a little flustered as he was trying to pull his composure back together.

"It's been really good, especially now that I am here with you," Adam replied with a big grin on his face.

Adam started telling Kurt about his senior project, the assignments that he had been doing for NYADA and the roles he was planning to audition for. Adam felt like the conversation was improving the more they both relaxed. Kurt was giving him good suggestions on things to help with his senior project. It was nice to just sit here and talk about each other’s lives. 

As Adam sat there across from Kurt and listened to him tell him all about his day and about work, Adam watched the way Kurt moved his hands smoothly as he gestured along with his words and the way his face lit up and his eyes glowed, when he was truly excited about something that he was talking about. He was so beautiful and breathtaking and the amazing part was that Kurt did not realize that he was. Adam did not understand how someone could see the elegant man before him and want to break him down even if they did not know what they were doing. He just wanted to take Kurt and protect him from the world and love him. Adam's mind came to an abrupt halt at those words he had just thought. Love him; wasn't it a little early for him to feel that way? If he wasn't careful he was going to lose his heart forever, before they even got the chance to truly get to know each other, and there would be nothing he could do about it. Adam glanced over at Kurt and was grateful that he had not noticed the moment of panic that Adam had just had. He took his feelings and buried them down deep so that he could deal with them another day when he could handle them better. Adam pulled his mind back into the conversation that he and Kurt had been having. Adam smiled to himself. He was just grateful that he could have this time here and now with Kurt.

 

\------

 

Midnight madness had been absolutely breathtaking the way Kurt sang the song that was chosen for him and Rachel. Adam had not been surprised when Kurt had won, because he knew that Kurt could. What had surprised Adam the most was the emotion that he had put into the song. As Adam sat and watched Kurt perform he realized that he was no longer Kurt. He had become the character pouring out his heart and soul asking God to take his life instead and leave the young man to live another day. There was just something about the way Kurt sang that left Adam stunned and absolutely amazed at the performer he was becoming. Adam felt like Kurt had come a long way since he began at NYADA.

But no matter how wonderful the night before had been, the most important thing to Adam was the morning after when Kurt was standing next to him in the hallways at NYADA. Adam was really excited that Kurt had actually wanted to spend time with him when after last night he could spend time with any of the popular students at college. When two of the students walked over and started talking to Kurt, inviting him to spend time with them, Adam's heart sank. He was sure this was the moment that Kurt would walk away from him, leaving the Adam's Apples and deciding not to be his friend anymore. But Kurt pulled out a level of confidence and sass that Adam had never seen before in him. Adam had been pleasantly surprised at the words that Kurt was saying to them. It brought forth the emotions he had been holding back. They bubbled up inside him and almost knocked him off his feet. Kurt had defended him and the Adam's Apples using his new found position in the school. He had threatened to challenge anybody that would talk badly about himself and the Adam's Apples, to a duel at midnight madness which they knew would end in disgrace for them. 

Adam had stared at Kurt in amazement and stunned adoration. Kurt had just been given an opportunity to be one of the more popular students at NYADA and he had given it up for him. The small glimmer of hope that Adam had that just maybe Kurt liked him more than a friend began to grow again. When Kurt had finished talking to the other two students he had turned toward Adam and they chuckled a little. Kurt then stopped as he gazed down to the end of the hall. When Adam turned to see what he was staring at, he realized that it was Rachel.

"Excuse me just for a moment." Kurt muttered as he walked by to go talk to her. Kurt walked away to talk to his friend Rachel and see how she was holding up. Adam could only stare after him. He realized that it was too late for him to ever change the feelings that he had towards Kurt. Adam was in love and so head over heels with the beautiful talented man that had just stood up for him and defended him in front of others. Adam knew that he had given his heart to someone that may not ever be able to return love fully back to him and for some reason Adam was 100% fine with that. As long as he could always have Kurt in his life, even if it was just to be friends, Adam would be happy.

Adam and Kurt did not have Adam’s Apples practice after school today. They both planned to go spend more time at Kurt's house and in Central Park, but he had not seen Kurt since Adam had walked him to class after he had tried to talk to Rachel earlier in the day. So he was not sure if he still was going to go to Kurt's house with him. Adam had been standing there waiting for at least 15 minutes at the place that he and Kurt had agreed to meet. He looked down at his phone. He had not received any texts. Just maybe Kurt had changed his mind and decided to go hang out with more of the influential students in the school, rather than waste his time with Adam. His heart sank at the idea but there was nothing that he could do to change the way that Kurt felt. When Adam had finally given up and turned to walk back to his dorm, he heard that beautiful voice calling after him. 

"Adam wait! I am coming. " Kurt called out after him a little out of breath. 

Adam stopped and turned to see Kurt as he ran up and stood before him.

"I am sorry! Mr. Sanders held me after class today, and you know how he is about technology." Kurt said in exasperation as he was trying to catch his breath. "You.. did not have anywhere else you had to be did you?" Kurt asked a little hesitant as his eyes looked over in the direction that Adam had started to walk towards. The worry and disappointment flickered across Kurt's face for a moment. 

"No! I was just waiting for you." Adam replied as he sent Kurt one of his ear to ear smiles, that for some reason always seemed to make Kurt a little happier.

"Good!" Kurt said as he sighed in relief. "Because I was planning to spend the whole day with you, if that is okay?" He asked looking up at Adam through his eyelashes and the butterflies in Adam's chest took flight.

" Sounds like a brilliant idea," Adam said, trying not to stutter over the words, as his heart was starting to beat out of his chest.

Kurt smiled back at him and Adam could see the excitement starting to flow through Kurt expressions. 

"Let's go get a cab, so we can get there faster." Kurt said, grabbing Adam's arm and pulled him towards the doors.

Adam enjoyed the cab ride towards Kurt's house. Kurt had started relaxing more around him and dropping his guard he normally wore with others. It was nice to get a glimpse of the true Kurt before whatever happened to him that made him lock it away. Adam hoped that one day Kurt would feel comfortable enough being around him to tell him about all the things in Kurt's past and that one day, he would be able to do the same.

When the cab pulled up in front of Kurt's house, Kurt paid the taxi driver and then proceeded to hurry out of the taxi in excitement. Adam was trying to get out of the cab when Kurt reached in and grabbed his hand and helped pull him out of the taxi. "Come on! Hurry." he heard Kurt say, noticing that his voice was bubbling over with excitement. When Adam was fully out of the cab he looked around the street to see nice old houses surrounding him. He was not sure which one was Kurt's. Adam just thought they were all beautiful homes. As the taxi drove away Adam looked over to where Kurt had been gesturing towards a building. It was amazing and he told Kurt this. Kurt smiled up at him and said "Yes I know! Come inside and see." He reached out and grabbed Adam's hand again. Adam found himself reeling over the feeling of holding Kurt's hand. Kurt led them into his home. He showed Adam around never once letting go of his hand and Adam loved the way that Kurt's warm skin brushed against his. Kurt showed him around the house and Adam realized there was really not much furniture there at all. There had been a few things in the kitchen but until they had got up to the third-floor, most of the rooms were empty. The house was beautiful and the detail in the wood work throughout the place was breathtaking. Adam couldn't believe Kurt had inherited this place. It had been restored in a way that captured its timeless beauty. A home that would fit perfectly amongst the homes in wealthy London. Kurt and Adam were standing in front of a door on the third floor. Kurt let go of his hand and removed a key from off around his neck to unlock the door.

"Why do you keep this door locked?” Adam had to ask, since it seemed odd to keep a door locked in a mostly empty house. 

"I am not quite sure." Kurt replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "It was locked when I inherited it and it just felt right to keep it that way. I really haven't let more than you and me into this room." Kurt said in a soft shy voice as he looked into Adam's eyes. And Adam watched as a rosy flush came across Kurt's cheeks and Kurt gave him a beautiful, hesitant smile. For some reason Adam felt honored that Kurt was willing to share this space with him and had not yet shared it with many others. Then Kurt took a step back into the room as he opened the door wide letting Adam enter. 

When Adam had entered the room he glanced around and his eyes landed on an old desk against the wall and then wandered over to a beautiful old fashioned bed in the corner. When Kurt had noticed where Adam's eyes came to rest, he spoke.

"When I first unlocked this room, that frame was already here. I just cleaned it up a little and put it together." Kurt walked over and ran his fingers reverently across the carvings on the wooden frame "I just recently had this mattress delivered. I had to have it custom made to fit the frame." Kurt said, as he turned and sat down on the mattress and looked over at him with a sweet hesitant smile. 

"It's beautiful!" Adam said not sure how to explain to Kurt, he thought that both him, the bed and the sight before Adam was beautiful.

"Yes it is!" Kurt said as he patted a spot next to him on the bed a gesture that was clearly asking Adam if he wanted to come and join him. "I was able to pick up the desk at an antique store. When I first saw it, it just felt like it belonged here as well." Kurt said, as Adam walked over and sat down next to him. "I know it is not much.." Kurt continued, as he gestured around the room, "but at least it is a start."

"It's a great start!" Adam replied back, as they stared into each other's eyes. Silence grew around them and the sunlight cascaded in through the window creating a heavenly glow and warming their skin. 

"So... what do you think about the house?" Kurt said breaking the silence and pulling them both out of their reverie.

"It's a beautiful old house, with years of potential for you." Adam replied truthfully. 

"Part of the stipulations for me to inherit the house is that I have to live here for six months out of this year. But with everything that has been going on between me, Rachel and Rachel's boyfriend Brody I find myself staying here a couple times a week. Now on top of that Santana wants to live with us. I am almost ready to move here earlier than I had planned." Kurt said as he leaned his shoulders towards Adam and put his weight on him relaxing into Adam's body.

"Is that what you want to do?" Adam questioned, allowing Kurt to put more weight on him as they nestled together in the warmth of the sunlight. 

Kurt sighed, leaning more into him "yes and no... I really need to be there to make sure that Rachel and Santana do not kill each other before I officially move out."

"Sounds like a lot of fun." Adam remarked ironically .

"Oh! Yes it is!" Kurt said as he sat up and pulled away from Adam. "You promised me a walk around Central Park. There is a little place a couple blocks from here, that we can get something to eat and take it out for a picnic if you would like?" Kurt asked with a little bit of hesitance sneaking back into his voice.

"Yes, that would be lovely," Adam said, though he missed the closeness they had just been sharing before Kurt had moved away. Shaking the feeling of loss off, he got up off the bed and followed Kurt out the door. 

When Adam had finally reached the landing at the bottom of the stairs he heard Kurt call his name so he turned to look up at him and see what he wanted, only to find himself a couple inches away from Kurt, who was standing on the bottom stair with his hand on the banister. Adam realized as he saw the expression that had crossed Kurt's face that he was just as surprised as Adam was to all of a sudden be standing so close to each other. They both had been standing there frozen in that position for a couple minutes before Kurt begin to lean toward him. When Adam realized what was happening he leaned forward into Kurt and pushed up onto his toes as Kurt leaned down to kiss him gently. Kurt pulled away and looked down at Adam with wonderment in his eyes. Adam could see a quick flicker of uncertainty cross over Kurt's expression before he leaned forward to kiss Adam again. Adam had waited until Kurt had deepened the kiss and placed his hand on the back of Adam's neck, before he pulled him closer into his body and off the step he had been standing on. Now he was the one leaning down into the kiss and Kurt was the one leaning up wrapped in Adam's arms. When they had to break away from each other for oxygen, Kurt smiled at him and leaned up and gave him another kiss. "You know we had better go on that walk and have that picnic I promised you earlier," he said smiling up at Adam. This time as Kurt pulled away he slid his hand down Adam's arm and linked their fingers together. It sent shivers up Adam's spine.

"Yes, it's a beautiful day for a walk." Adam said as they opened the door and went out into the beaming sunlight together. Adam knew that Kurt was a long way from being whole but just maybe they could have some happy, wonderful moments along the way. And hopefully, just hopefully, they would be able to stay together and he could help heal the damage that Kurt had from the past.


	10. Chapter 10

Kurt was sitting on his bed in the house he had inherited, surrounded by all of the letters that Tom had written to him. Kurt was enjoying the silence around him. He had finished his homework and even completed everything he needed to finish for work. Kurt had been spending more and more time here than he was expecting to in the beginning. Earlier he had gone to the loft only to have Rachel and Santana yelling and screaming at each other. All Kurt was able to glean from the situation was that Santana did not like Brody and that Rachel needed to throw him out. Rachel was positive that Santana needed to find her own place because Brody had been here first. He filled another one of his bags full of things that were sitting around his room. Things he would need and some that he was just slowly migrating to his new place. He then left so that he could find some peace and quiet all to himself. Kurt had a little over two months left before he needed to completely move in, which he was waiting until this summer to do so. But if Rachel and Santana kept on going the way they were, Kurt was going to have to run away to protect his sanity from them. He was a little frustrated with those two but he could not help himself from chuckling at the situation as well.

Kurt reached down to pick up one of the letters that was sitting before him. As he looked at the letter he realized it was the one that Tom had written him after they had the experience on the stairs. The experience where the century had blended together just for a moment and they were both able to reach across time and actually touch. Kurt smiled to himself as the fond memory came back to him, of him hurrying back to the loft and quickly writing the letter. He had been filled with excitement to tell Tom what had happened. He then frantically went to mail it that night, using a stamp that Tom had just given him only to receive a letter the next day from Tom saying that he had had the same experience. That memory brought back so many feelings to Kurt.  He had never had another moment like that with Tom but he was still reveling in the thought that they were able to share that small experience together. From that point on Kurt knew that this friendship with Tom was real, as Kurt looked down at more evidence of this, laid out on his bed. There were many letters replying back to all of the letters that Kurt had sent to Tom. They both had poured their hearts out to each other and Kurt had held nothing back. He had hoped that Tom had done the same. He picked up another letter that Tom had written him about how he deserved better than being with someone that would treat him the way Blaine had. Kurt was starting to understand more about where Blaine and his relationship had gone wrong because of Tom's letters and the way that Adam treated him. But there was still a little piece of his heart that loved Blaine and did not want to let him go, no matter how hard Kurt tried. Kurt's eyes returned back to the letter that he was holding where Tom wrote about letting Abigail go so that she could find someone that would truly make her happy. He was happy for Tom. He was hoping that he would find someone he loved even though from the sounds of some of Tom's letters his dad would not be happy with him and he would be disowned, losing his family as well as society turning their back on him. Kurt was grateful that he lived in this day and age where it was a little easier to express love to the person he wanted to and still be accepted by his dad and by others. Kurt's heart longed to be able to change Tom’s circumstances but there was nothing that he could do.

Kurt smoothed out the letter and set it down. Picking up another one only to blush when he read what was on the page. This letter had been a reply to the letter he had sent Tom after he had given Adam a kiss on the stairs at Tom's old house. He had told Tom all about Adam and how wonderful he was. Kurt shared with Tom about how he felt so drawn to Adam and how he was so terrified that he would ruin this connection that he has with him in the end. Tom had been happy for him and also had told him to not let his fears destroy the beautiful thing that Kurt and Adam had growing between them. Kurt had been grateful for this letter. It made it so that he was able to let go more and truly get to know Adam the way he wanted to. It had only been a week and a half since him and Adam considered each other boyfriends and it had been so nice to walk through New York holding hands. When he was with Blaine they never held hands in public where others could see but being with Adam was different. Adam was affectionate to him and was always giving him praises and compliments. This had truly made Kurt feel loved and wanted more than he had ever felt with anyone else he had ever been with.

Kurt felt like having the opportunity to write Tom what was going on in his life had been allowing his heart to heal more and put the pieces back together. Now there were only cracks as evidence that his heart had ever been broken before. Kurt was more whole now than he ever thought he would be, now that Tom and Adam had come into his life and he was truly grateful.

Kurt picked up another letter and began to read, only for his heart to sink. He had remember how he felt the day he had first received this letter from Tom. World War II was just beginning and Tom had felt the only way he could truly make a change was to go to Europe and sign up in the war, even though the USA had not joined yet. That was the first time that Kurt wanted to search the Internet for Tom's name to see if he survived the war but he just could not do it. Kurt was afraid that it would actually make it feel more like Tom was in the past then he was here in the present with him now through these letters. Kurt gently pushed the letters aside in the pile and got up and walked towards the window, placing his hand on the swirls in the pain of glass. As Kurt slowly traced his fingers across the bumps and ripples, he took in a deep breath and released it slowly. Kurt wondered how Tom was doing and if he was still alive. Leaning forward and resting his forehead on the window, Kurt tried to relax his muscles and release the tension that had been building in his body as he whispered to the universe. “Wherever Tom is please let him be okay." A tear trickled down his face. Kurt was not ready to lose his friend even if Tom did not live in this time.

 

\------

 

 

_My dear lovely Kurt_

 

_I hope things have been good with you._

_So how are you and your Englishman doing?_

_Are you still falling madly in love with him or are you allowing your fears to overcome and scare you away from something that could be beautiful._

_Yesterday I met a new group of English soldiers from London and I do have to agree with you that their accent is truly beautiful and breathtaking to me as well._

_So war is not at all what I thought it would be!_

_I was sure I could ride in on my noble steed and the enemy would surrender and I would be a hero._

_Instead we are swimming in mud up past our ankles. The trenches are a horrible place to be. The front north trenches were gassed two days ago and we lost over 100 men. Things have calmed down to artillery and rifle shootings now. We just seem to be waiting for the next major attack._

_I have not been killed yet but it is just a matter of time._

_I am sorry for my morbid thoughts. Things are just hard here and I am patiently waiting for another lovely letter from you to brighten my day. Your letters are what are sustaining me through this whole ordeal._

_Love Tom_

_PS. I am planning to get a photograph on my next leave and have it sent to you. I would be grateful, if you would be able to send a photograph to me as well._

       

Tom sat his pencil down taking the letter he just wrote to Kurt. He folded the paper in half and slid it into an envelope. Then Tom put it away in his bag where he had three more letters ready and waiting for the opportunity to be sent to Kurt. There was talk that in a day that their unit would be relieved and allowed to go into town for the day. Tom was excited. He was hoping to be able to get a photograph then. He could have a print mailed to Kurt and one mailed to his sister so that they could see that he was doing well. Tom sighed in frustration. The letter he had just written was the first time he had allowed any discouraging words to come from his lips. He could not send a letter like that to his sister and mother. But he felt freer to send one to Kurt because he knew that Kurt would understand. Tom felt it was nice to have someone that he could freely express himself to and that would still care about him and not turn their backs and walk away. Tom never thought that in his wildest dreams that he would be writing letters and opening himself up to a man that had not even been born for another hundred years. It was really nice having this connection though and he enjoyed and reveled in all the letters that Kurt had sent him. He could truly admit to himself that he was a little jealous of the relationship that Kurt was starting to have with Adam. He still found it nice to be able to live vicariously through the eyes of someone else since Tom thought he would never have a relationship of his own. So he reveled in the letters that were full of giddy happiness from Kurt and wondered what it was like to be in Kurt’s shoes. Tom had read Kurt's letters over a thousand times and went through the heartbreak of his first relationship with him. As Kurt poured his heart and soul into the letters along with all of his pain and heart break, Tom was only able to see rays of happiness seeping into Kurt's writing. Tom felt grateful that he could be there for Kurt, so that Kurt finally had someone he could pour his heart out to. It seemed to be making a difference in the way that Kurt's heart was able to start healing and making room for new hope and love. As the time went on he realized that this man named Adam that Kurt was writing about was slowly becoming more of the focus of all of his letters. He could see that Kurt was slowly falling for Adam, in spite of all of the fears that Kurt had that he would ruin their chance of ever being happy. Tom hoped that Kurt would finally find the confidence he needed to allow himself to have the love he deserved in his life and not ruin it for himself.                                      

Tom sat there in the silence waiting for the war to begin again. His mind wandered back to the day he made the decision to join the war. He remembered coming home and throwing the newspaper down on his bed. He had a long day’s work with his father and the more he worked there the more he realized that it was something that he absolutely hated doing. When he had gotten off work he was hoping that his day would get better only to walk outside and have the newsboys calling out the destruction of the Lusitania, a British Passenger Ocean liner that had been shot down by a German submarine. There had been 1900 people on board when it had gone down. 1100 had perished in the cold waters of the ocean and 120 of the deceased had been American citizens and some of them had even been acquaintances that he had gone to school with and their families. Tom was frustrated because it had been two weeks later and the government still had not done anything about the situation yet and the people were outraged over the whole ordeal but America still did not join the battle and stop the madness. Tom had walked over to his window and found his favorite position in front of it, putting his forehead against the glass and that is the moment he decided what he was going to do. He was going to go to where the frontline was in France and join the soldiers in the fighting wherever they needed his help. Tom closed his eyes taking a deep breath, letting it out and pushing himself away from the window he packed his stuff and prepared to leave without saying a word to his parents. When he had purchased his boat ticket to England, Tom had pulled his sister aside into his room and explained to her all about his secret place and Kurt and the letters. His sister Mary had been shocked and taken aback a bit but she warmed up to the idea. Then Mary started asking him tons of questions about the mysterious man he had been receiving letters from. She had agreed to receive his letters from the war and put them in the secret place so that Kurt could still receive them. She was also willing to take the letters that Kurt sent to the house and forward them to wherever Tom would be at the moment. Tom was so grateful for her willingness to do this for him. He was not sure if he could go through with this plan if he could not receive any more letters from Kurt. He had been pulled out of his memory by a warning call that had gone through the trenches. Tom got up and put his things away and prepared himself for battle as a bomb hit the ground somewhere around a couple hundred yards away from them. Tom thought. "And now it begins all over again."

 

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That morning when Kurt had arrived at work, he was a little frustrated because he did not have the outfit he wanted to wear that day, due to another problem between him and Rachel and him ending up at his house without everything he needed the night before. Kurt was starting to make a list of all the things that he needed just to move to his home. He planned how to talk to Santana about taking over his lease so Kurt would no longer have to worry about which place he would end up at every night, the loft or the house. He could just go home. It was also nice that he had received a letter from Tom the night before and that was one bonus of just moving into the place early. He did really enjoy reading Tom's letter last night and again this morning even though he was worried about how he was doing in the war. Kurt had been trying to lay down a timeline of what he knew about World War I and the letters that Tom had been sending him. Compared to his calendar and time Kurt noticed that for some reason Tom's timeline had been going faster than Kurt's. For him it was the middle of April and spring break was coming up in one day. He still had one more class to go to and then he would be finished for a whole week except for work and he was excited about it. And according to Tom's letters it indicated that he was somewhere at the end of July.                                      

Kurt was startled from his thoughts by the ringing of the phone. He was supposed to be attending to it. He hurried to answer it finding out what they needed and transferred it to the person that needed to receive the phone call. Kurt placed his elbow on the table, resting his chin on it as his mind wander back to what Tom had requested from him, a photograph. Kurt had written him a letter and put it away in the envelope in his bag that he had been carrying with him just so that he would be ready when he found the perfect photo to send him. Now Kurt was just stuck what would he wear that would be appropriate for someone that was living in 1915. He did not want to frighten Tom. Not only that, he wanted to make sure that it could cross the time barrier so that Tom would receive it. So in his mind he started running through all the ideas he had that might work but he did not know if he had time to make something. Maybe he could find something in a costume shop that would not be too unfashionable.

Kurt was sitting there, staring into space when Liz saw him.

"Hey Kurt. Is everything alright?" she said, giving him a questioning look.

"Yes, everything's fine" he replied, sending her a halfcocked smile that was not very reassuring.

"Then why are you so pensive?" She asked, with a smirk.

Kurt was not sure how to let her know what he was thinking about. He looked down at his hands fiddling with a piece of paper. When he glanced back up at her, he noticed that her face changed to a look of concern.

"Is it your pen-pal? He's okay right?" She whispered, as her eyes glanced around the room, making sure no one was listening.

Kurt had broken down and told her about Tom some time ago. He remembered the day that he caved in, and gushed to her all about his pen-pal. He had been really excited that day because he had received a letter from Tom.

She had been asking him questions all day, about anything she could think of that would make him so happy, like "Did you go out on a date? Did you and your boyfriend get back together?"

He had kept answering "no" to all her questions until he couldn't take it anymore, so he caved in. Yes he was worried she would not believe him, but he was pleasantly surprised. She wanted to see the letters and she was excited when he told her where he found them.

"It was fate!" she exclaimed happily. She clapped her hands together in excitement, rocking excitedly on her toes as her whole body was thrumming with energy.

They had gone out for coffee, and had a really nice conversation talking about everything that had been happening in the last couple months. It had been nice to talk to someone, other than Brittany about Tom. It was like opening up a whole new perspective on the subject. Kurt had found that very fascinating.

"Hey Kurt! Are you there?" She exclaimed, pulling him back from his memory.

"What has you so lost in thought?" she questioned.

"Um. .  well.." he said sighing deeply. "We decided to switch photographs, but I have nothing I can really send him. None of my current photos will work for his era, and I am afraid that it will not be able to reach him through the barrier. I really do not have the money to rent a costume, one that I would even wear, for an old looking photograph."

"My dear don't worry I am here", she said her eyes gleaming with excitement. She grabbed Kurt's hand pulling him out of his chair, and towards the dressing room.

"What about the phones?" Kurt said as he was being dragged off by her.

"Oh don't worry. Ruth can get them." She said as she snapped her fingers in Ruth’s direction gesturing back towards the phones.

When they had arrived at the dressing room, she moved as fast as she could. She started rummaging through clothes, picking out any item of clothing she thought would possibly work. Kurt was standing there in complete amazement at how fast she was going through clothes like a master fashionista, at a close out sale at Gucci. As soon as Kurt had a handful of clothes, she pushed him behind the dressing screen. "Try these on and see how they fit". She was giddy with excitement. "I can't wait to see them on you, by the way your body is perfect to be a model", she winked at him and smiled.

After two and a half hours she finally seemed to find an outfit she was happy with. He had walked out from behind the dressing screen and she squealed in excitement. "That is perfect!" Then she had Angeline, the make up artist, fix him up so he wouldn't fade in the light. He would be dashing. She went and found the needed accessories to accent his outfit perfectly. Then Liz had Jeff the photographer take pictures of him in different poses for over an hour until she was completely satisfied with the final result. When she had finally let Kurt see them, they were absolutely breathtaking.

"Thank you so much. This one is perfect!" Kurt said, as he gave her a great big hug. She hugged him back tightly. "You are so welcome! I'm just glad I was able to help.” Liz replied.

It had been a really long day, but Kurt realized holding the perfect black-and-white photograph in front of him it had been worth it. He slipped the photograph into the envelope that held the letter he had written Tom the night before. He was excited to go to the Post Office and send another small part of his soul.

When it was time for Kurt to go, he packed up all the stuff he needed to take home in his satchel. When he was done he picked up the envelope that held the photograph that they had taken earlier that day. Kurt made sure to put it in a safe spot in his satchel, so it would not get bent as he traveled home. Then Kurt headed to the elevator. As he stepped into the elevator, Chase came up to him and said

"Hey! Kurt is it okay if I walk the next couple of blocks with you?"

"Yes sure!" Kurt said back to him                  

"It's a lot more fun to have someone to talk to, while you walk home. You know..." Chase said with a smile          

"Yeah I agree." Kurt said, as the elevator doors closed. Kurt had a pleasant look on his face, then he screwed it into a very stern expression that Lizzie had worn quite often at their board meetings. "Especially one that knows his fashion." then Kurt gave Chase a wink of his eye.

Chase broke out into a chuckle "I would be careful doing that around here. If Lizzie ever found out that you were poking fun of her you would be in trouble."

"Me?!" Kurt said putting his hand over his heart like he was wounded. "Not a chance"

At first Kurt and Chase were a little awkward around each other because Kurt had a boyfriend and Chase had a crush on Kurt, even though Kurt had a hard time believing that but now they were just really good friends. It was nice to have someone who had similar fashion taste as him and could handle his tendencies for passionate conversation. Chase was no weeping lily. He was able to give Kurt back everything that Kurt had given him in return. There were very few people that could do this and when the both of them would get going into a heated debate at work, people would just stop and stare. They went at it until Lizzie would walk in and break up their conversation, more like argument. The thing that Kurt liked most about Chase was that after their arguments they were both able to shake it off and laugh about it and go back to being really good friends. It was really nice to have someone who could handle Kurt. Because sometimes he was not always right and Kurt knew how he could be.                                        

When Kurt and Chase reached the outside, they both took in a deep breath of the air around them and said "what a beautiful day" at the same time. They both looked at each other in amazement, as they broke out laughing. When they were able to get themselves under control, they began to walk down the street and strike up another enjoyable conversation.

A city block later, as Kurt was crossing the street while carrying on a fascinating conversation with Chase; their conversation was interrupted by the screech of tires, people calling out and then a flash of pain.

The next thing Kurt realized was that he was lying on the cold ground of the street with people trying to get his attention. All Kurt could focus on was the pain that surrounded him. His head hurt. His body hurt. Kurt could hear a voice calling for him to hold on as he faded into darkness.

 

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Tom was surrounded by the sounds of war. They had had a near silent day the day before and everyone had been on edge because they knew the imminent attack was close at hand. And now Tom was standing in the thick of it, as chaos surrounded him. The trenches had been overwhelmed with gas. As the bullets whizzed on by they all had a prayer in their hearts that the bullets would not find a home in their flesh. Tom could hear the moans of the dying men around him and the sounds of artillery going off in the distance. He had no idea when a bomb would hit his trench. Tom had carried a prayer in his heart for his sister, his mother and especially one for Kurt. The letters that he had received from Kurt had sustained him through this horrible ordeal he had found himself going through. Tom knew he was to blame. He had joined the war hoping it was the answer to his problems only to find out that it had not been. If it had not been for Kurt's letters and the hope they brought to him, he was sure he would have given up but now he knew he needed to live, at least for his mother and sister, if not for himself and the man he hopefully one day would find. Tom had loaded his gun with more ammo as he aimed and fired again with bombs dropped around them.

This had gone on for what felt like a couple of hours with the gas clearing out of the trenches only to be put back in by another bomb. They had no time to stop, so the wounded lay around them on the ridge they had cut out from the dirt walls that they had been using to sleep on at night. They had medics coming in and helping the wounded but it was a slow process to remove them to a safe area because when the medics returned there were more wounded men to replace the ones they had taken. Tom was growing weary but he knew that a battle could last at least 5 to 8 hours so they still had time to go before they could rest. Tom checked his ammo, he was starting to get low but he was hoping he could make it. Just then a bomb hit the side of the trench 10 feet away from Tom, throwing everything outward away from where it had struck the ground. Tom found himself being picked up off the ground and being slammed into the hard dirt wall of the trench, with great force. Tom tried to regain the air that had been knocked out of his lungs but he could not do so through the particles of dirt that were raining down upon him and the pain that was consuming him. As his body slumped against the wall, the darkness that was blooming on the edge of his vision was threatening to consume him. Tom whispered one last word. "Kurt...," as he faded into the darkness.

 

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As Tom slowly came back to consciousness he began to wonder if what he had just gone through was a dream. His eyelids were heavy and hard to open so he left them closed, as his ears started to be able to hear sounds. Tom was not sure about where he was right now but he did not think he was in the trenches anymore. As Tom began to recognize the noises that surrounded him, he could hear the clattering of metal and people scattering around looking for things they needed. Tom felt the darkness engulf him again. He was not sure how long he had been in the darkness, then things started to get louder around him again. He heard a hushing noise and a beautiful voice humming a song to him. Tom tried to open his eyes and to move and see who had been singing to him. The only problem was that the more he tried to see the person above him, the more someone tried to keep him still and hold him down. Then someone started speaking to him in a beautiful language and their voice was so angelic to his ears. Tom tried to make his mind focus on what was going on, as the haziness that surrounded him slowly lifted. Could he be dead? Did they speak French in heaven? Tom did not know. When he was finally able to open his eyes the light hit him so brightly. After blinking a few times he was able to finally focus on the person that was looking down on him. Tom wondered if he was seeing an angel. The angel before him was illuminated with the light that surrounded him. He was so beautiful with sharp features and with eyes that he was not sure what to call the color other than heavenly.

Tom tried to speak but his voice came out broken to his ears. "Ar..are.. you an angel?" He said as he noticed the dryness of his mouth maybe that meant that he was not dead. Tom hoped that was true as he looked up at the beautiful man in front of him.

The angel smile back at him and said in English with a heavy French accent "No you are not. You are just in a hospital. So calm down and be still before you hurt yourself more."                               

"Oh... okay." Tom said softly as his voice cracked, then his mind finally clicked onto where the man said that he was and he started to panic. "Am...am I okay! What's wrong with me?" Tom asked.

"Yes! You are fine. What is your name?" the angel requested of him in a comforting tone.

"Tom! Tom Hamilton" he said as his voice was finally starting to get used to speaking again.

"Alright Mr. Hamilton"

"No. just... just call me Tom," he whispered out as he interrupted the man before him. Tom felt his body slowly slipping into exhaustion from the effort of just talking.

"Alright Tom!" The man said as his face broke into a soft smile. “You just had a piece of scrap metal embedded into your leg that we were able to remove and stitch up. You are lucky that it did not hit any arteries so you should be just fine and it should heal up properly as long as we can keep the infection away.”      

Tom relaxed back onto his bed at the realization that he did not lose his leg. "That is good." Tom said through a yawn.

"Rest now, so you may heal. Someone will be by later to give you your medicine." The man said as he laid his hand gently on Tom shoulder squeezing lightly.                          

When the man removed his hand, Tom missed the warmth and comfort of it. Tom went to protest the loss but instead he moaned because of the pain that flared through his body when he moved to grab the man's hand.

"Rest" the man said gently as he put his hand back on Tom's shoulder and carefully pushed him down onto the bed. The man moved his hand to Tom's forehead and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Hush now" he said, "you need to sleep." The man began to hum a lullaby; Tom's eyelids began to feel heavy. The man's voice was breathtaking and comforting all at the same time as Tom faded into sleep.         

Over the next couple days Tom had learned a lot about the man who he had thought was an angel the first time he laid eyes on him. His name was Gabriel Dubois and he was a doctor's assistant, because had not been able to finish his education before the war had begun. Gabriel was caring, gentle and kindhearted. He wore a mask to hide all the pain he had experienced in the war. So far Gabriel was able to hide it from everyone except for Tom. For some reason that he did not understand, Tom had felt such a strong connection towards him since the moment he had seen him. Not only because he was handsom, beautiful and striking in every way that he could be but because of something more. Something that pulled from down deep like a thread attached to his soul. This was a new sensation for Tom, something that invoked both fear and exhilaration. Tom was eager to explore these new feelings though because he knew that if he did he would fall in love even if the angel could never love him back.


	11. Chapter 11

Adam had been waiting for over 45 minutes to meet Kurt at their designated spot. They had plans to go out somewhere really nice for dinner instead of going to a café or just staying in one of their apartments and watching a movie with their friends. Adam was excited that they were getting to spend more and more quality time together. He felt like they were starting to become really close. Adam could tell that Kurt was starting to heal his broken heart from his last relationship. But the longer he stood here waiting for Kurt he was starting to have some doubts about these thoughts. Maybe Kurt being late was a sign that a formal dinner was taking things too quickly. He had texted Kurt quite a few times in the last couple of hours without any replies from him. Even though Kurt had been late before he had never been this late. Adam started to really worry about Kurt's safety so he decided he would call his phone one more time before he gave up and went home. He pulled his phone out of his pocket for what had felt like was the thousandth time that night. He lifted up his phone and as he clicked on his number, Kurt's smiling face popped up. A small pain of regret fluttered through his heart at the thought that Kurt really did not want him in the same way that Adam wanted to be with him. He began pushing down his emotions. He did not know if he could handle dealing with them right now. Adam hit the button to call Kurt. He listened to the phone ring as he waited with baited breath. When Adam was ready to give up hope, Kurt finally answered it. He let out a breath of air that he had been holding way too long in worry. It burned his lungs as he released it, only to have it come to a complete stop when he had heard a broken voice come across the phone. "Hi," it had said but it was not Kurt. Adam's heart sunk with the knowledge that something had to be wrong.

"Who is this?"  Adam asked a little harshly as panic started to engulf him.

"My name is Chase. I am one of Kurt's coworkers and a friend. May I ask who you are?" He had said in a shaky voice that sounded like he was holding back a lot of emotion.

"Adam Crawford." He squeaked out, he could hear Chase on the other side of the phone let out a sigh of relief the minute he had heard Adam's name.

"Good! Kurt had told me about you." His voice was full of relief.

"Where is Kurt?" Adam asked as he tried not to let his heart flutter too much at the idea that Kurt had been telling his coworkers about him. Adam's mind clicked back into gear and realized that there was something wrong with Kurt.

"After work we were walking home when Kurt was hit by a car. He is in the hospital right now. They won't give me any information about how he is doing. They were able to give me his phone so I could call his father but it was locked, so I was not able to call him. I just don't know what to do, and then you called me." Chase said as the words fell out of his mouth in a panic jumble. Adam could tell that he was now sobbing on the other end of the phone.

"Chase! Calm down and tell me what hospital he's at and I will be there as soon as possible." Adam said to Chase in the hope that he would be able to stop crying and calm down enough to tell him where to go.         

"Oh... okay!" He snuffled.

As Adam was heading to the hospital, he called Kurt's home phone number that he had been given when Kurt went back to visit his family for one of his dad's important doctor's checkups. Now Adam was so grateful that he had the phone number for this emergency. He was able to get a hold of Burt. Burt had been baffled that Adam was calling until Adam had told him about the accident that Kurt had been in and what hospital he was in at the moment. He had given Burt the phone number as well and apologized for not being able to give him any details of what was going on since he did not hardly know anything himself. Adam remembered how Burt had said thank you and then promised to call Adam when he had found out any information. Then Burt briskly hung up without even saying goodbye. Most likely because he had been in a rush to call the hospital, Adam did not feel bad for this. He was pretty sure he would do the same if he was in Burt's position.

When Adam had arrived at the hospital, he had talked to the nurse at the front desk only to be told that he was not family and they could not tell him anything. So Adam had no choice but to walk over into the waiting room and find an empty seat and sit down. All he could do now was wait and hope that Burt would find out what was going on and call him and tell him if Kurt would be alright. Adam sighed in frustration and set back in his chair slumping down his posture. His mother would be so disappointed with him if she could see the way he was sitting. The thing was that Adam could care less at this moment what anybody thought. He had been angry and disappointed at himself for thinking that Kurt would purposely stand him up on a date instead of calling and telling Adam that he was not going to come. Adam had been shaken out of his deep thoughts when someone called out his name. Adam looked up and was surprised to see a man coming towards him that he had never met before in his life.

"Are you Adam Crawford?" The man asked.                                  

"Yes I am!" he replied.        

"Good!" he sighed in relief. "I am Chase." He said as he held out his hand for Adam to take. “Sorry we had to meet under difficult circumstances. Kurt has told me so much about you and I was hoping our first meeting would be a good one and not like this." Chase said as he took his hand back from shaking Adam's.

"Nice to meet you too." Adam replied. He could kind of see why Kurt would like Chase as a friend. When it came to fashion it looked like they had very similar taste. Adam had been intrigued with how fast Chase talked. It was like he would not be able to say all the words that he wanted to if he slowed down at all.

"Um.. here is Kurt's bag. I tried to get all the blood and dirt off of it so he wouldn't panic so much over the stains." Chase had said as his voice slowly cracked a little. He held Kurt's bag out towards Adam.

"Thank you!" Adam said kindly, as he took Kurt's bag from him. "Chase would you like to sit down and wait with me? Kurt's dad said he would call me as soon as he had found out any information." He said as he patted the open chair beside him.                

"Oh... okay!" Chase said as he went over and sat down in the chair beside Adam.

Silence fell between them for a while as both of them fell into deep thoughts as they waited.                               

What seemed like 20 minutes later, Adam heard a phone begin to ring. He realized that it was him that was receiving a phone call. As Adam reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out he realized that the name that was flashing across his screen was Burt Hummel.

 

\------

 

Burt arrived at the hospital, paid the taxi and hurried inside to see how his boy was doing. When he had talked to the Nurse on the phone earlier, they did not have much information to give him other than that Kurt had been in a car accident. They did report that all of his vital signs were stable. He did have a concussion and was comatose at the moment. The doctor had also told him that when he arrived at the hospital, they would be able talk more about Kurt's condition. All Burt wanted to do was to see his boy and hopefully he would be awake now so he could. Burt quickly walked over to the nurse’s station and said "I am the father of Kurt Hummel, may I see him?"

"Just one minute sir, let me see." She replied, as she typed away on her computer.

Burt had been startled by a clearing of a throat behind him and a soft gentle voice saying, "Excuse me sir, are you Kurt's father?" in a British accent. Burt turned around to see a tall man with disheveled blonde hair standing before him. He looked worn out and tired like he had been here for a long while.

"Yes I am." Burt replied back to him. If this was who Burt thought he was, he was curious to know why Kurt had only said that they were friends. Clearly he was more than a friend on his part based on the worry in his eyes.

"Hi, my name is Adam Crawford," he said as he held out his hand towards Burt with a soft smile. The smile could not hide the lack of sleep that was written all across his face and the concern that he carried there as well.        

"My name is Burt but you know that already. So.. have you been here the whole time?" he said, as he sent a concerned look towards the young man that was standing before him.

"Yes... but have you heard any more about how Kurt is doing?" he said. Burt could see him trying to fight down the panic that was bubbling underneath the surface and so that it would not show in his voice.          

Burt sent him a reassuring smile and went to reply to his question when the nurse behind him interrupted and said, "Would you like to go to his room and the...."

"Yes!!" Burt said, interrupting the nurse and not even allowing her to finish what she had been saying.

"Okay the doctor will meet you there as well." She continued a little taken aback by how quickly he had replied. "Let me show you the way." She said as she turned and walked down the hall.

Burt had turned to follow her, when he realized that Adam had not followed him. Burt reached back and gestured for Adam to follow. When he still hesitated Burt reached out and grabbed his arm and dragged him along after him. Since he was so worried about Kurt he could not find the words to tell Adam what he wanted.

When they arrived at Kurt's hospital room, he was lying on the bed, pale with a bandage around his head, sound asleep and with a scattering of bruises around his face and arms. Burt's heart leapt inside of him at seeing his son in such a state. He walked over gently touching Kurt's hand. Kurt looked small lying there and Burt was afraid for his son. He needed to know everything that was damaged and how bad the concussion was if Kurt was not waking up. Burt's body began to tremble a little at the worry he had for his son and his knees slowly began to buckle beneath him. Burt was surprised when his body did not collapse onto the floor; instead he crumbled into a chair that someone had pushed up behind him. Burt looked up to see Adam standing behind him with his hand on the chair giving him a concerning look.

"Are you going to be okay?" Adam asked with sincere concern in his voice. "Kurt had mentioned he was worried about your heart condition. Are you doing all right?"

"It's a little weary but it is doing fine, and I am as well." Burt said trying to let Adam know that he was okay even though he did not feel that way at all.

"Are you sure?" Adam said hesitantly.

Burt knew by the concerned look that Adam sent him that he did not believe he was all right. "I am sure I will feel much better when I know Kurt is awake and okay." He said trying to reassure Adam that he was not in any danger of his heart failing him.

When the Doctor had come in to talk to him he told them that Kurt had one cracked rib and one broken rib but nothing serious. His lungs were not punctured. There was no swelling on the brain so there should not be any long term damage. He could have some mild issues but they should go away in about ten days after he awoke. If not they were supposed to seek medical attention but the Doctor was very hopeful about Kurt's situation. Burt had been so relieved at the good news but he had been curious why Kurt had not woken up yet. So he had asked the Doctor only for him to reply that sometimes it takes the mind time to come out of shock and now all they could do is wait.

Now Burt was sitting on one side of the bed and Adam was sitting on the other waiting for Kurt to wake up. Burt was a little frustrated. All he wanted was for him to wake up so he could hear his voice but they did not know if it would be 10 minutes, an hour or one day more when Kurt would finally wake from his coma. Three hours later Burt was startled by the movement of the hand that he had been holding. He glanced up at Kurt, who was slowly trying to open his eyes. Kurt whispered Adam's name softly in a broken, dry crackly voice. Burt had looked over at Adam's shocked face but he could see a glimmer of hope starting to bloom across it. Now he was really curious to know what was going on between the two. Burt was positive that Adam was in love with his son was at least on his way to being that way. He just did not know how Kurt felt but if he had to go by the first thing that Kurt said waking up from his coma, he was sure his son was falling in love as well.

 

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Kurt was not sure where he was so he glanced around and all he could see were trenches and men rushing around him in their uniforms. Kurt remembered being struck by a car and feeling the pain but then he had woken up here standing in one spot in no pain at all. It took a minute for Kurt's mind to click into gear and realize that he must be dreaming. Kurt looked down at himself and was surprised to notice that he was in a vintage army uniform when they were actually fashionable. At least his dream-self had good taste. He also had a medic band on his arm. He did not know what to do. He was so lost. "What do you do in dreams that were so vivid they could be real?" He thought to himself. Kurt was startled from his stupor by a man grabbing his arm and speaking to him in fluent French, calling him by a name he did not know.

"Dubois come on! We are needed." He said as he pulled Kurt down the narrow trenches through mud that was slowly being mixed with blood from the fallen soldiers that were being carried away. When they finally arrived where the man had been taking him, the man gestured in the direction of a soldier that had been slumped against the wall. The medic turned to take a look at another one. Kurt walked over to the soldier and with his dream body knowing exactly what to do, he begin to take care of him. His pulse was slow but he was still breathing. The biggest injury he had was his leg, so Kurt stopped the bleeding. He cringed inside at the condition of the man in front of him. He was covered in mud, which was completely unsanitary. If they were not able to get him somewhere and get him cleaned up, he was sure that this soldier would die of an infection. Kurt noticed blood was trickling down his hair so he rolled the soldier's face over to make sure that the injury was not too bad. Kurt's mind reeled at the realization of who he was looking at. It was Adam and he was dreaming about them being in the war. Kurt wondered if he must have been worried too much about Tom that his worlds started to blend together in his dream. At that moment another soldier came up to him and asked if this one was ready to be moved. Kurt looked up at him noticing the muddy gurney that the man had been caring and said "yes" in French. He had notice that everyone including himself had been talking in French around him and it was fluent French. Kurt guessed it was okay, it was just a dream and dreams could be a funny thing when they wanted to be. He had helped the soldier put the wounded soldier on the gurney and carried him to wherever they were going as his dream faded away into darkness. When Kurt faded back into his dream he was now in the hospital helping to take care of Adam and hold him down. Adam was starting to wake up as they were taking care of him and they were low on medicine to sedate their patients. Kurt hushed him and stroked back his hair as he tried to calm him down, as they waited for a nurse to bring more sedation. Adam open his eyes and look up at him in amazement as he whispered "Ar..are.. you an angel?" Kurt comforted him and insured him that he would be okay, as the dream faded off again.

Kurt found himself flickering in and out of dreams almost like an old romantic movie. If he was not so sure that he had been dreaming he would be positive that he was going in and out of someone else's memories. Because Kurt knew they were not his and they were too realistic for a dream. He tried to wake up but all that happened is he found himself racked with pain only to be thrown in to another dream memory that he could not control. Kurt had experienced things in these dreams that helped him realized how hard the war had been on those who were wounded and the destruction that it caused. He remembered studying a little about it in his history class but nothing would have ever prepared him for the visual images before him. Kurt had been relieved every time he found himself in a dream with Adam. Those dreams were familiar and comforting in a way, even though they were still different.

In the dream that Kurt found himself in at the moment, Adam had been following him around the corner at the makeshift war hospital. They had been walking beside each other carrying on a very interesting conversation as Adam leaned heavily on a walking stick being gentle with his leg that had been slowly getting better. When Kurt had realized that they were all alone his dream-self had pushed Adam up against the wall and gently started to kiss his lips. Adam had pushed down into him making the kiss deeper as they both got lost in the passion that had swept over them and the strong emotions they felt towards each other. Kurt's dream-self gave into the emotions that he had never allowed himself to feel because he was afraid of hurting them both. Kurt wanted to wake up the more he found himself surrounded by the dream Adam and the more he long for this to be real. As the dream slowly began to fade Kurt's mind screamed out "no!" He did not want to go to another dream he wanted to stay with Adam wrapped in his comfort and warmth. He felt like it had been a long time since he felt this way with his Adam, since it felt like he had been stuck here for months. No all Kurt wanted was to wake up and return back to his life. These dreams were nice but they were not real and Kurt wanted Adam to be real. So he fought the darkness and the fading of that moment as pain started to engulf him at the edges of the blackness. Kurt felt so lost and all he could do is call out Adam's name as his surroundings had started to grow lighter and pain had grown stronger. He felt someone squeezing his hand so he opened his eyes as he fought against the brightness of the room as he saw his dad sitting before him. Kurt croaked out "dad" through his dry and rough throat. As he began to remember why he was here the dreams he had been having slowly began to fade away.

"It's okay kiddo." He heard his dad say as he tried to comfort him.

As Kurt laid there enjoying the comfort from his dad, a sliver of memory flicked back into his mind and he blurted out "Where is Adam?" He could hear rustling of material coming from the other side of the bed and as Kurt slowly turned his head he could see Adam standing there smiling down at him with concern still written across his face. Kurt tried to smile back at him through the pain, he had missed Adam's real smile. As Adam reached forward and took his other hand Kurt felt the warmth of him seep underneath his skin and his eyes grew heavy. He could no longer fight back the darkness through the pain as he faded into sleep reveling at the real touch and comfort of him.                                                              

When Kurt was finally allowed to leave the hospital he was so grateful to be back in his own clothes and out of the ghastly hospital clothing. The only thing he missed about being in the hospital was that Adam had stayed near him the whole time except when he had to go to work and it had been really nice. Kurt's feelings had been growing stronger even deeper than a crush, even greater than like but he could not admit how strong his feelings were growing for Adam even to himself. So Kurt just pushed them deep down inside himself and just enjoyed the closeness of Adam in his life. Kurt tried to focus most of his energy that he had on his dad. He was glad to see his father and spend a couple of days with him although he had been frustrated that it was under these circumstances. His dad took him back to the loft where there was more people to keep an eye on him even though Kurt wished he would have taken him to his house. He really did not have a bed or anywhere else his dad could sleep there, since he had failed to buy himself a couch yet. His dad would not let him go anywhere and all Kurt wanted to do right now was to go to his house where he could check and see if he had received any letters from Tom. On top of that he could not even go out and mail the letter that had the photograph in it for Tom. Kurt had been given back his messenger bag, so he had opened it up to make sure that the envelope was safe and okay and it had been. Kurt could remember the relief that had swept through his body at the sight of the undamaged letter. With no other options before him, Kurt had caved in and given the letter to Adam. He requested that Adam please make sure to mail it at a certain Post Office and only that Post Office. He received a curious look back from Adam but at least he did not question him any further. Kurt hoped that Tom received it since he was not the one to deliver it to the Post Office but the only person that Kurt could think that would be able to deliver the letter might be Adam and still have it work since Tom knew about Adam. Kurt hoped with all of his heart that it would work.

Kurt was tired of being mother-henned by his dad. Not only that his dad kept sending questioning looks between him and Adam. They were able to talk for a moment but he was not able to truly let his father know what was going on with everyone else there. He wanted to spend time with his dad in New York but not this way trapped in the loft; not able to go out and do anything but sit here and let his aches and pains heal. He had no choice but to allow his dad, Adam and Rachel to wait on him. If he protested at all his dad glared at him and told him to allow his body to heal. Santana did not help. She just sat there being her snarky self and sent glaring looks at him and when no one was listening she told him to stop being so lazy. Kurt was sure that if he did not find a way to get away from everybody he was sure that he would go crazy. On top of everything this had not been the way that Kurt planned to spend his spring break. So when his dad had to return to Ohio, Kurt pleaded with Adam to help him escape and return to his house so that he might have a little bit of peace and quiet. Adam was concerned and worried about leaving him there by himself but Kurt had convinced him that he would enjoy having Adam there as well, he just had to get away from the two girls in the loft. So with the thought of them being alone together, Adam had agreed and had help pack up everything that he had left that he would need and take with him to the house. When they had arrived there, Adam carefully helped him walk up the stairs to the third-floor and into his room where Kurt wanted to be. As soon as he was all settled in his bed Adam went down to the kitchen to check if they had any groceries, since Kurt was not sure if he had much there. When Adam had come back from the kitchen, he declared that he would have to make a run to the grocery store so that they could have dinner for today and food for the next couple days. Then Kurt had found himself alone at last in his house.

Kurt gently got up and went over to the secret place. Carefully lowering himself onto the hearth he moved the stone from its resting place as his ribs complained from the effort. Kurt took a deep breath and then glanced inside to be greeted with a stack of at least nine letters. Excitement was running through his veins at the sight of them and so he returned the stone and brushed the dust away. Then Kurt pulled himself off the floor and returned to his bed where he could read them. Sorting through the letters and making sure they were in the correct order, he opened the first one and began to read. Kurt learned that Tom had been injured in the war which made his heart sink but the more he continued to read the first letter his heart started to fill with joy. Tom had met a man that he called Angel and he had promised that he was the most beautiful person he had ever met on earth. Kurt was happy that Tom was able to find someone that he could love, even if he had not been sure if he returned his feelings. He remembered back to the first time that he saw Blaine. He had done research on the school of Dalton and realized that Dalton was a safe place for people like him. So when he met a boy that he thought was gorgeous, Kurt had allowed himself for the first time to freely have feelings for him. It had been nice to not have to hold back his feelings around the boys at Dalton like he had to around the other people in his life. Kurt started thinking about how he felt about Blaine and everything they had gone through in their life. Was what he had with Blaine just because he had allowed himself for the first time to love? Because the more he looked back, the more he realized that the love had been more one-sided than equal. Kurt began to worry, 'was he doing the same to Adam that Blaine had done to him?' He was not sure. All Kurt knew was that he felt a strong connection to Adam. He was sure that if he would have met Adam before the experience that he had with Blaine, he would have been able to freely give his heart to him as well. Now Kurt could feel his heart slowly falling for Adam but he was afraid that Adam would not want a heart as damaged as Kurt's. Kurt was startled by the sound of a closing door below. Adam must have returned back from the grocery store he thought. So he gathered up Tom's letters and put them in the antique nightstand that he had found for a good price, so he could save them for later to read, since he seemed to have all the time in the world to sit and rest. At least now he had something that he could do to occupy his time.

Adam had prepared dinner for them and they enjoyed a wonderful meal together. Later that night, while Kurt waited for Adam to clean up the kitchen, he read another one of Tom's letters. Tom had written more about his angel and the time that they were spending together. Tom felt like his Angel had been going out of his way to come and read books to him and spend time with him. Tom was sure that the Angel liked him back. Tom told Kurt a little more about how his Angel flirted with him and it was nice to flirt with someone that he liked. He was trying to be careful but Tom was finding it hard to hide his emotions and how he felt about the Angel in front of him.

"Hey Kurt do you have some extra blankets?" Adam asked as he walked in to the room.

"Yes I keep some spares in the linen closet but why do you need them?" Kurt said, sending Adam an inquisitive look.

"Well... I was thinking about sleeping on the floor so I do not hurt you." Adam said hesitantly.

"My bed is big enough for the both of us and we will be fine. Plus I wanted to snuggle with you."

Kurt said as he pouted at Adam.

"All right but the minute I feel like it is hurting your ribs for me to be there I am going to sleep on the floor." he said to Kurt as he went and picked up his nightclothes from where he had put his bag. Kurt knew that Adam had noticed the letters sitting there but he was grateful that he had not said anything about them, since Kurt was not sure how to tell him who was sending them to him yet.

Kurt pulled the covers down and crawled into bed since he was already in his nightclothes. Then he carefully scooted himself across the bed and against the wall making sure he left enough room for Adam. When Adam had come back into the room, he smiled gently at Kurt. He turned off the light and carefully crawled into bed with him. Kurt rolled onto his side that did not have hurt ribs and tugged Adam carefully into a gentle kiss. Adam pulled away and rested his head on the pillow next to Kurt, facing each other. Then Adam rested his hand onto Kurt's hip trying to make sure that he did not put any pressure on Kurt's ribs.

"Hi there." Kurt whispered as he stared into Adam's beautiful stormy blue eyes.

"Hi." Adam said back as he leaned forward and slowly kissed Kurt's lips again. They both stayed there sharing gentle kisses for a while reveling in the feeling of being in each other’s arms. A little while later Kurt nestled his face into the corner of Adam's neck and took a deep breath of the scent of him, relaxing his body. Kurt slowly fell to sleep, surrounded by the warmth and comfort of him.

As the week passed it was more of the same, reading Tom's letters, spending time with Adam, having dinner in their own kitchen and cuddling up together to sleep. Kurt could see how he would want more of this in his life. Kurt enjoyed the comfort of someone he truly liked being in his personal space and in his home that he knew cared and respected him. The pain of regret shot through Kurt's heart. He had wanted this with Blaine but now he could no longer have it with him and he needed to learn to move on. Adam was nice, kind and loving to him and Kurt was truly attracted to him as well. Now he just needed to learn to let go and move forward. Kurt's mind wandered back to a letter that Tom had sent him. He told Kurt, that he needed to learn to let go of the bad things that had happened or he would never make room in his heart for the good things that were to come. Just maybe Kurt thought it was time that he started dreaming of a future in this house with Adam. It would be so nice and wonderful. His mind started daydreaming of the kind of performers they would be and the children they would love to adopt. An image of Adam sitting in the living room downstairs rolling around with a three-year-old with blond curly hair popped in his mind and made him smile. Yes! Kurt thought I could do this. I would be truly happy with a future like that. He started thinking about Tom's letters and the relationship that Tom had with his angel. A letter that he had opened three days ago had told him all about Tom's first kiss and the way it felt for their skin to touch. Kurt remembered the warmth of Adam's body as he lay next to him, gently rubbing his back. He knew how Tom felt and it was a wonderful feeling to have. He loved learning more about Tom and his Angel and how they were growing stronger together. Images flashed through Kurt's mind of the last week and the time he had spent with Adam and hope started to bloom inside his chest. For the first time Kurt felt like just maybe he could allow himself to return the love to Adam that he deserved.

When Friday morning had come Adam had gotten up and gone to work leaving Kurt home alone by himself. He was starting to dread next week when they had to go back to school and Adam would go back to his place and live. Kurt was starting to get better. It did not hurt as bad when he moved around. Although he was dreading dance class when school started, Kurt felt like it should be okay if he was careful. Now Kurt was still sore and frustrated because he was all alone. The more time he spent with Adam the more he found himself lonely when he was gone. Kurt had gotten up and done something until his ribs protested so he had stopped. He had read Tom's letters so many times that he had lost count and now he had three hours before Adam would come home. Kurt sighed, three hours and he had nothing left to do. Kurt did not like being sick or hurt. It made life more tedious for him. If he was not constantly on the go his mind would dwell on things he could not do anything about. So he got up and walked over to Tom's letters again, scanning through them he had remembered in the last letter that Tom sent, Tom had given his Angel's full name and Kurt was curious to know who he was. He walked over to his laptop pulled it out and typed the name 'Gabriel Dubois' in the search bar then hit enter. There was too much to filter through so Kurt added in the last location that he knew Tom had been and he was able to come up with a match. He clicked on the page with excitement and began to read; only to have fear grip him due to the content it contained. Kurt had found Gabriel Dubois's name on a list, a list of names, a list of names that had died during an air raid in the town where the hospital was, where Tom had been. Kurt grabbed Tom's last letter and looked at the date that was on the letter then looked back at the date on the computer. He was not sure how much faster Tom's time went than his but they had two months and hopefully it would be enough time to warn him. Kurt set his laptop and letter down on the bed. Then he hurried over to where the antique desk was against the wall in his room. He pulled out the paper and ink that Brittany had given him and began to write a letter.

Kurt had been pacing the floor for over two hours waiting for Adam to come back from work. He did not know if mailing this letter would stop the event that had already happened in the past but he could not just sit here and not try. Kurt called a taxi and hopefully Adam would be here soon. If Kurt timed it right they would both arrive at the same time. Kurt could have left without him but he knew that Adam would be upset since he still was supposed to be on house rest for another day. When Adam finally arrived Kurt took Adam's bag and set it just inside the door, locking it and dragging him to the car. Adam protested about how Kurt should still be in bed and taking it easy but Kurt did not listen. As they were both in the taxi on their way to the Post Office Kurt explained that it was very urgent to mail this letter and it could not wait. Adam looked over at Kurt with a concerned look and he asked. "I want to know why this could not wait until you are better?"

“Please not now!.. I will tell you later I promise." Kurt said softly with his voice full of worry and concern.

"Okay but when we get home can I please have answers." Adam said noticing how close to panic Kurt was. When Adam looked up and away from him he noticed that they were heading to the Post Office that Kurt had requested that Adam mail a letter at, when he had returned home from the hospital and now he was even more curious to know what was going on.        

"Yes I think I can do that." Kurt murmured softly in a broken voice as he reached over and took Adam's hand. Kurt squeezed it tightly as he was afraid if he did not have something to hold onto he was going to fall apart.                                                                                                          

"That's fine I can wait." Adam said squeezing Kurt's hand back trying to let Kurt feel his support.

Silence fell around them as they waited to arrive at the Post Office. Kurt was having a hard time controlling his body from fidgeting as the thrum of anxiety and worry was running through his system and Adam kept sending him concerned looks. When they were finally four blocks away they could hear the sirens cutting through the night and smoke starting to trail up over the buildings in front of them. Fear gripped Kurt's heart and he was afraid of what he would see when he finally arrived. When Adam and Kurt had stopped two buildings down from the old Post Office, it was engulfed in flames. Kurt got out of the taxi and walked closer as dread started to overcome him and Adam followed him with eyes fill with unbelief at the sight before them. Firemen were standing around trying to put out the fire but Kurt knew it was a hopeless cause. Kurt's heart sank at the idea that Tom would never receive his letter and he would not be warned. At that moment Kurt made a decision and he took off heading to the back door of the building. Adam called after Kurt but was not able to catch him. Then Adam had been stopped by a fireman who had not seen Kurt run by. When Kurt reached the back of the building he glanced around to see if anyone was there that could stop him. He was grateful that there was no one in the alleyway so he headed to the door. There was a door entering into the lobby that normally was not locked but seem to be jammed at the moment. Kurt threw his body against the door, not caring how the pain shot through his body from his ribs and the door creaked with the weight that was thrown against it. Kurt's body ached between the car accident he had been in a week and a half ago and the impact he was causing on the door but he did not care. He had to mail this letter to Tom and hopefully the connection had not been broken yet. Kurt threw himself harder against the door and it gave away. He was hit with a face full of smoke. He stumbled through the lobby. He knew he was not too far from where the mailbox drop would be. As Kurt stumble through, there was a little fire here and there but most of it was more on the other side of the building furthest from him. He finally could see the drop box. He reached out and slid it in to the mail slot with the prayer in his heart to the universe that Tom would receive this letter and be able to save Gabriel's life. As Kurt turned and retreated to the exit of the building, burning boards started falling around him but he was able to make it to the door and outside to clean air. As he took a gulping breath of air, that was not full of smoke as his lungs burnt from the lack of oxygen, Kurt stumbled back to where he knew Adam would be and collapsed next to their taxi in exhaustion. He had done all he could do and he could do no more.

**Author's Note:**

> Due to health reasons the story is not completely finished. It should be completely finished in two days. so if you read it slowy you should be fine. I am truly sorry about this.


End file.
